Stories of the Tavern
These have been taken from the Megaboard.. original idea by Merlin, implemented May 1st, 2787, (original Tavern formed 2500) 2 months before Jazz Jackrabbit's disapearance, since the dispersion of the "Clan of Dodrill," including, but not limited to Merlin, DethMan, Onag, PaG, Evil Bill, Noogy, and untold warriors.

Click here for the Super Shots section.. (unfinished, due to new domain setup).


The Clan of Dodrill was founded around 2770, five years after Great Battle of Carrotus.
Noogy Dodrill, a rumored legend, founded this large Clan in order to restore the galaxy to it's former order, after untold amounts of chaos had rained upon Carrotus for 20 years, including the great battle between Jackrabbit warriors and Turtle theives. Even after this great battle however, much in the land remained chaotic.
Dodrill formed this clan to eliminate evil threats throughout the Jackrabbit system.
Dodrill disappeared after 2 years of protecting the galaxy.
Within a month of his disappearence, the entire clan (of about 20 elite warriors) dispersed, and were unheard of until 2777, about the time that the JJ Central Protection Agency was destroyed by the yet-unheard-of Devan Shell.
Even then, only rumors and legends were known of these heroes.

Most warriors have  an unkown history, but it is rumored that Merlin and DethMan joined together as friends, and were later known only as legends, nicknamed Mighty Merlin and DethMan the Intrepid. Merlin was also rumored to have a brother, who was also a legend known as Alex of the Seven Seas.

Thus ensued the great History of the Legends, and History of Warriors, which eventually made their way to different taverns, and now the main tavern by the name of "The War Tavern."

At 2786 the Jazz Battle ensued between Jazz Jackrabbit and Devan Shell.
Devan Shell was rumored to have been destroyed, and was unheard of until 2787 when he stole Eva's 24 carrot diamond.
Prince Jazz was banished, and then had to pursue Devan Shell with his brother Spaz.

About 2788 there ensued the Great Battles; consisting of many rabbits fighting against one another. Some formed clans, or played as temporary teams against common enemies. The current year is 2788, a couple months after the start of the Great Battles. All of the greatest legends that have survived since the The Clone Wars (a fight of rabbits against the Evil Rabbits and their army of clones) have joined in the Great Battles, even fighting other legendary warriors.

The following stories are ALL true. Virtually ;-)


 Let the stories begin!
Un-organized, Un-Edited, Unrevised, MMB stories!

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                     posted 04-14-98 4:53 PM
(First Story   Ah perk up. I'd love a challenge like that.. something
from another worth my time! 5 or 6! Great! Next time call me, so I can
topic)            have some fun! :)

                     - DethMan

                     Sneaking around the corner, Jazz spied his worst third
                     worst enemy... an ugly Spaz kiddo, named Henk. In fact,
                     there were 6 of them.. make that his second worst
                     enemy. Fear knew no place in Jazz's heart.. honor was
                     above all. And cloning one's self was as low as anyone
                     could get. Carefully checking his gun, making sure the
                     large Ultimate Weapon was ready, he stepped out of the
                     Into a war ravaged room, open to the sky.. filled with
                     bodies of dead rabbit warriors who had attempted the
                     impossible.. filled with destruction. His favorite kind of
                     Catching the Henks off guard, he aquired his first target.
                     Henk 109, the killer of one of his best friends, and fighters,
                     He started a swinging sweep with the UW2000, firing a
                     snap shot at Henk 109.
                     Being cought completely off guard, Henk 109 cought the
                     full blast of pure destructive power. With a bright light, his
                     sheilds caved in, imploding Henk 109 to his final doom,
                     leaving nothing but dust remaining.
                     Scratch that, nothing but.. nothing remaining.
                     The other four realized their prediciment, and swung their
                     guns upon Jazz. Four large guns. Not quite the power of
                     the ultimate weapon, but the Fire Blasters could do plenty
                     of damage to bare fur.
                     Taking one last half-aimed shot that missed, he hit the
                     ground rolling to the left.
                     The four blasted away, attempting to track his sudden
                     Finishing his roll, he brought up the UW2000. The gun that
                     had destroyed entire armies of turtles.
                     Rabbits were a little tougher.
                     All too aware of the Fire Blasters tracking him, he took a
                     quick double snap shot at Henk 108. The man who killed
                     his other warrior and friend, Kl'ashka.
                     Henk 108 had no time to react, expecting no resistance
                     from a rabbit under constant fire, the destructive force
                     again shot forth to ensure Henk 108's doom.
                     The blast glanced off 108's side, but it was enough.
                     Searing through his sheilds, it shoved him across the large
                     room into the wall.
                     Two down, three to go.
                     The other Henks got smart, one continued to track him
                     with fire, while the other two took cover behind a large
                     Undoubtedly the remains of some other battle.
                     Using his own specialty, Jazz jumped into the air, and hit
                     his ears. Floating back to the right, he aimed at the two
                     behind cover, who were not expecting a shot from the air.
                     The shot seared the air, the smell of burnt ozone reaching
                     his nose.
                     It hit right in the middle of the two Henks, igniting
                     everything around them into a large, short, white blaze.
                     One left.
                     The one....
                     Who had forced Epic to delay his own game in the first
                     Reaching the ground, the last Hank was still looking at the
                     remains of the other two, in complete surprise.
                     Anger flowed freely through Jazz's mind, as he threw
                     away his weapon, and charged madly towards the last
                     Turning, Henk brought his gun up to bear.
                     And fired.
                     Barely missing the shot, Jazz slid under, right next to
                     Henk was cought off guard.. completely.
                     Using his other specialty training technique, Jazz gave an
                     upper cut that even his creators would be proud of.
                     Sending the last Henk off into the sky.
                     Forever gone.

                     Jazz sighed, viewing the destruction about him. What had
                     been a building before, was now rubble.
                     Yes.. Jazz thought, Another day, another kill.
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                     posted 04-19-98 1:49 PM
  Warstories   I thought it would be neat to have a topic where people
  Topic 1        can brazenly brag about their CTF deeds. Picture this as a
                     where all the warrior rabbits hang out and try to relate (in
                     slurred speech) their epic exploits... Let the warstories
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                     posted 04-19-98 2:25 PM

                     All heads turn to look upon the newcomer to the War

                     Covered in plates of armor, spikes on his steel gauntlets,
                     tipped with the remains of his last fight.

                     He is a legend.. he is only known by his nickname.

                     No one knows where he came from.

                     No one knows who he really is..

                     He is only known as DethMan.. one of the three great
                     legends. The Mighty Merlin.. The Great Alex, and The
                     Unbeatable DethMan.

                     Not surprising, a path seems to form from no where for
                     the newcomer.

                     For he has a story to tell.. a story of one of his three

                     "It's not often I'm defeated.." he growled, downing an
                     entire cup of Braggarian Goo in one gulp.

                     "A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.."

                     Oops, wrong story.

                     "Long ago, before most of ye were born," he said, waving
                     a hand around, "there was a great battle between two
                     legends. DethMan and Merlin wer' der' names.. they ain't
                     been killed for ages."

                     Grabbing another Braggarion, he continued.

                     "I twer DethMan, away back then.. and me friend, who
                     then was an enemy, go by the name of The Mighty

                     One gulp. The Brag went down his throat.

                     "Twer a great battle, nary many 'ave seen it. " He picked
                     up a toothpick, "By this much.. this much mind ye, he beat
                     the blank out of me."

                     "I were roasting him left 'n right, but he were a man with
                     many lives, and always 'peared in the right place. He
                     always stayed one step ahead o' me, during the ever
                     famous flag races."

                     He swivled on his chair, to face all those who were
                     stareing upon him.

                     "Aye.. I could roast him day 'n night, but he would always
                     be one step ahead o' me.."
                     He glared at the crowd, then continued, "He was a smart
                     one 'e was. But was a long time ago, nary can I 'member
                     the exact score, but if me memory dina fail me, 'twas by 2
                     points at most. He was clever he was.. he could beat me,
                     without havin' to kill all de time.. aye.. he was known
                     there after as..

                     The Great Alex."

                     He sighed... reflecting upon his long history... his past.

                     "Aye.. that was how he became a legend.. he is great
                     indeed. Even the brother of the Mighty Merlin."

                     Disclaimer: I'm not responsible for any hurt feelings, or
                     incredible bouts of bragging in this story ;-)

                     - DethMan
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                     posted 04-19-98 5:09 PM
                     I am an average person.

                     I play an average game.

                     I get an average amount of points.

                     I get roasted an average amount of times.

                     The end.

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                     posted 04-19-98 6:12 PM
                     JAZZ 2 AVERAGE?!?!?
                     Gizmo.......brought to you by:
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                     posted 04-19-98 7:20 PM
                     Gizmo: That's not what I meant. Jazz 2 is the best game
                     I've ever played. Come to think of it, I'm not sure what I

  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-19-98 8:35 PM
                     You probably, I play an average game...some
                     people play a mean game, you play an average game :)

                     I myself play a lagged game...

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                     posted 04-19-98 8:43 PM
                     Hehehe, alex will like that, dethman.
                     The following is more of a suckstory than a warstory:
                     I was playing this game with about ten people in it.
                     Dethman came in, and we agreed that we'd like to try
                     being on the same team. So Dethman, for the about the
                     next 15 minutes, proceeds to try coming in as a red so we
                     can be team mates. EVERY SINGLE TIME he came in he
                     was put as a blue! It was terrible!
                     Anyway, after trying that, Dethman and I had a fight with
                     no guns (it started by me stomping on his head in
                     frustration. hehe)
                     I decided to switch to uppercuts only, while the Dethman
                     went with the stomp. Let me tell you, uppercuts are a
                     worthless attack! I don't think I successfully took off even
                     one heart. I think the butt stomp overrides the uppercut,
                     because I hit right under him a couple times while he was
                     in mid-stomp, and it hurt me. So anyway, there's the
                     uppercut report.
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                     posted 04-19-98 9:00 PM
                     Alex says your story is keen.
                     Also, we were laughing our heads off on that
                     one message to sean green.
                     "Listen kid. I've heard of you. They call you Sean. Sean
                     Green. They say you're real mean and that you take it out
                     on Stean."
                     That part had us LOL
                     anyway, actually, his title is "Alex of the Seven Seas" :)
  Another Jazz 2
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                     posted 04-20-98 7:04 AM
                     All faces turn as a blood red rabbit with a dark black
                     headband and white gun walks into the tavern. They can
                     tell that he has a story to tell. One of a past CTF war. And
                     yes, he did have a tale to tell.

                     "They call me Jason Jackrabbit. I have no fancy title, I just
                     stick with my name. I am the cousin of Jazz and Spaz. And
                     I may not be a legend, but I have a tale to tell."

                     He looked around him and continued.

                     "This was a CTF war long past. I hardly remember what
                     happenned exactly, but I shall tell what I do remember of

                     "I entered a game of CTF, one day, a long time ago. I
                     found that I was on the blue team which had a server,
                     who wasn't moving, and one other member that wasn't
                     very good. It looked bad, we were two against three. Also,
                     the red team had two points while we had zero."

                     "I didn't panic. I knew where the bases where and the
                     quickest routes inbetween them. I went through the
                     infamous warp that many have heard of. I reapeared near
                     the red base. I went down and to the left. Then, to get in
                     the red base, I did a short run, then I jumped and hovered
                     my ears. I entered the base. There was no rabbit guarding
                     it, so I easily captured their flag. I ran to the blue base
                     and found that the no one had captured our flag. So I
                     deposited the red flag and ran to get it again."

                     "They were still winning by one point. I captured their flag
                     and deposited it again. Now we were tied. I captured it a
                     third time, and put us in the lead by one point."

                     "That was when my luck turned. The next time I brought
                     the red's flag to our base, our flag wasn't their. So I
                     waited at my base for the other team member to bring
                     back our flag. Bad idea, one of the red team came and
                     roasted me."

                     "I never scored a point again in that game, but I roasted a
                     few. Still, more roasted me."

                     "And that is where I must stop, for I have run out of time.
                     Till another day."

                     With that, he leaves.

                     Another Jazz 2 fan
                     live from:
                     the war tavern
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                     posted 04-20-98 10:55 AM
                     All heads do *not* turn as yet another bunny enters the

                     Buster, who often morphs his form, was not reconized as
                     a tall white bunny with blue gun , red pack, and yellow

                     Raising his gun, he fires a shot into the rafters, causing all
                     heads to turn. Slowly they recognize him, and all voices
                     hush in fear, yet there was no need. Buster had not come
                     to start trouble. He had come to tell a story.

                     "Not so long ago," the mighty bunny said, "I was traped
                     within a CTF battle with..." all those present leaned closer
                     to hear what he would next say. However, despite those
                     listening, he walked up to the bar and ordered a tall carrot
                     juice. Straight.

                     After downing his drink, he contenued where he had left

                     "jazz." Now he had caught there attention. "Of course, it
                     wasn't Jazz himself. No, it was someone posing as him,
                     perhaps trying to destroy his name. I saw right through
                     his descise, however, and began to fight. He was strong,
                     runing to steal my red flag, yet I was stronger. Racing to
                     the blue base, I stole his flag, avoided the pounding
                     missles of him and his friend, Super, and made it to the
                     base, scoring a point. That was the last point I was able to
                     score, but not the last time I bested the imposter. Two,
                     perhaps three times, I toasted his false Jazz rear,
                     showing him who was the best of us. A bunny by the name
                     of Kyle was with me at this time, and a mighty warrior he
                     turned out to be, roasting jazz still more times, as well as
                     Super. The battle was furious, yet in the heat of the fight, I
                     was forced to leave. Black magic, it must have been. I
                     found I couldn't move, nor could I speak well. I left the
                     battle, never again to see or here of Kyle, jazz, or Super

                     All those present stood up in honor of the mighty Buster,
                     who then proceaded to buy drinks for each of them.
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                     posted 04-20-98 11:45 AM
                     The door swings open and in walks a slightly bruised black
                     rabbit wearing a purple headband. He slams shut the
                     tavern door. The rafters Buster had previously shot fall
                     upon the black rabbit.

                     I was out of ideas so I decided I'd mortally wound
                     Gizmo.......brought to you by:
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                     posted 04-20-98 5:40 PM
                     Suddenly, a blue rabbit entered. Few recognized him,
                     those who did knew he proved his worth by action rather
                     than by words. What was he doing in the war story room?

                     Coming closer, people noticed his deep, fresh scar and the
                     blood on his fur. That must have been one mighty battle,
                     because PaG, that is his name, doesn'T get hurt very
                     often, even against the like of Onag or Dethman.

                     He then began to speak:
                     "I was walking thru the the country named 'Server List',
                     searching for a worthy battle. I then saw a battle zone
                     named 'Henk in action'. I had to battle him, I didn't quite
                     prove my superiority to him in our last encounter.

                     "So I entered. The Idle Server revealed not to be so idle
                     and to actually be named P'val. Good thing he was on my
                     side, I thought. But then P'val decided to come back to his
                     colored name of his and with some buddies, one of whom
                     was the mighty Rrrrrribbit, also known as Arjan.

                     "Then started the battle. It was horrible, it was bloody, it
                     was fun. But my side was outnumbered. Arjan and I were
                     alone against Henk, P'val and Mr Orange. But Arjan knew
                     many tricks!

                     "The battle soon became a battle of magic, by Arjan,
                     against the red team... He got protected by a bubble
                     shield and by a fire shield on various occasion, true magic
                     that was! Some people even reported seeing him flying
                     through walls!

                     "But the demon lag was stronger than me, and soon he
                     made the game unplayable... I had to quit, but I had to
                     tell my stories. Of course, all what others told before
                     might now look a little bland, excuse me for that, but I
                     don't fight normal battles..."

                     Feeling better after drinking his carrot beer, PaG left the
                     building. But his legend remained there for a long, long,
                     long time after his departure... Some still hear cries of a
                     fiery battle when they sit on the chair he used to tell his
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                     posted 04-20-98 9:55 PM
                     Buster, who had left for battle just before Gizmo entered,
                     now returned. It hadn't been so long since he was last
                     here, and the other bunnys looked at him as though in
                     unspeakable wonder. Why was he back so soon? Had he
                     lost his battle?

                     Despite the nick in his ear, the open wound in his left arm,
                     and the dirt dulling his white fur, Buster returned not a
                     loser, but a champion of battle!

                     He walked up to the bar and ordered, not his usual carrot
                     juice, but a tall mug of frosty Red Rabbit. He needed
                     something stronger this time, for the battle had been hard
                     fought, however short it was.

                     He downed half his drink in one gulp, and turned to face
                     the others.

                     "Let me tell you why I am back so soon, and what
                     happened while I was away."
                     All the other bunnys leaned close, neglecting their drinks
                     to hear what he would say.
                     "I was heading through the land of Choose a Server. I
                     attempted to walk onto a battle ground, but it was
                     protected from me by magic, so I headed for the next
                     one. I entered, and found myself alone with Player 1, a
                     bunny I had never faced before. I ran, stole his flag, and
                     ran back, scoring the first point. Another bunny, Scott,
                     entered to fight with Player 1. I held my own against them
                     both. I scored, they scored for even. Spazmaster entered
                     to aid me, and we went on. I made roast after roast. I
                     really laid down the smack, and scored while I was at it.
                     Stealing their flag, blasting the one who had stole mine,
                     and scoring again. The fight was furious, and I was at the
                     top of it. The game stayed at even most of the time, but
                     me and Spazmaster kept bringing it up. A was roasted
                     only three times, while my enemies were roasted far
                     more. One time even I had the blue flag, and got caught
                     toe to toe. When the smoke cleared, I alone was standing
                     to score. After a time I was going to leave, but was held
                     back by my team mate. When I finally did leave, I had
                     caused a great deal of damage. This is a battle none I'll
                     not soon forget, nor will my enemies to be sure."

                     With that he turned back to his drink. All the other bunnys
                     just stared speechless.
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                     posted 04-20-98 10:33 PM
                     All of a sudden, right out of nowhere, Steven enters the
                     game. Unfortunately, I was roasted before I even
                     appeared on the screen.

                     The End

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                     posted 04-20-98 11:45 PM
                     The Mighty Merlin, posing as a bartender at the tavern,
                     overhears the drunken rabbits weaving their tales.
                     He clears his throat. "Ehem!"
                     All ears turn toward him.
                     "I led my team to a 10-0 shutout."
                     One large, gruff, stinky rabbit steps up to the bar. He calls
                     himself Jazz, a popular name among the unoriginal. "Yeah
                     right, Merlin, maybe if you give me a free carrot beer I'll
                     believe you!"
                     Merlin smiles.
                     "Ah, I have just the thing for you, my good man! You are
                     lucky enough to be the first man to try my house brew."
                     Merlin ducks behind the counter. -ZZZZZIP-
                     PSSSS..... ..... PSS.... DRIP...-
                     Merlin reappears with a mug full of yellower-than-average
                     carrot beer...
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                     posted 04-21-98 4:11 PM
                     "I think I'll stick to the original brew." Says Armageddon
                     from undernegth the heap of plaster and rafters.

                     Gizmo.......brought to you by:
                     Edna's Tofu Burgerama
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                     posted 04-21-98 8:52 PM
                     Steven decides to try again. This time he has god mode,
                     so nobody can destroy him. Unfortunately, there is no
                     such thing as god mode in Party Mode. Once again, I'm
                     destroyed. It's a good thing I have 9 lives like a cat. 2
                     down, 7 more to go...

  Dean Dodrill
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                     posted 04-22-98 7:27 AM
                     It started to get dark out. The last of the drunks were
                     being pushed out of the tavern, welcoming a night of
                     partying and festivities. However, just as the carrot juice
                     was wearing thin, a darkness fell upon the small tavern. A
                     few bunnies even walked outside to see what was causing
                     this darkness.

                     A hush fell upon them, as they saw a pure white rabbit
                     ride in, on one of Devan's goons at that!! Who could have
                     tamed such a beast? A swarzenguard?!

                     With a kick to the side, this white mysterious bunny
                     dismounted the ragged turtle, and walked into the tavern.
                     All eyes turned as if by magnet, and an air of silence
                     struck. All conversations ended, even the flies themselves
                     seemed to pause.

                     A young child, not knowing what was going on, foolishly
                     broke the silence...

                     "Mother, who is that?"

                     The white bunny turned his head to the sound, and stared
                     at the child. He knew this child's face, it was the young
                     Jon. Jon's mother quickly grabbed him and held him in her
                     arms, as if asking forgiveness.

                     The white bunny slowly walked up to the bar, and
                     immediately the bartender was at work fixing him the
                     hardest stuff in the place, a raw carrot soaked in sweat!!

                     "Do you know who that is?" whispered PaG to his comrade
                     Onag. "That is Noogy, he is legendary around these

                     "Yes, I've heard of him," replied Onag. "he's seen
                     warzones only mentioned in the books! What is he doing
                     here with the rest of us lowly scum?"

                     The crowds slowly regained their cheery mood, as Noogy
                     enjoyed another hard one. There was a chatter among the
                     bunnies going around, speaking of stories they had heard
                     of this great Noogy. Of how he singlehandedly took on the
                     armies of the almighty Devan, and was capable of
                     destroying 20 bunnies in a single kick. His speed was
                     unparalled, and cheatcodes were unkown to him. He was
                     capable of many feats, yet only few had seen him in

                     "I have come!!!" shouted Noogy, suprising all in the
                     tavern "to find combat!!"

                     Once again silence.. Was he implying on combatting the
                     likes of the bunnies in the tavern? Had he no humanity?

                     "I have seen all there is to see, and I desire a band of
                     rabbits to join me!! Who is there in this room who is

                     Dethman stood up. "I am worthy to be at your side
                     Noogy!!!" He was not followed.

                     Noogy stared around in disgust. "Is there no one else in
                     here rabbit enough to join my quest!?"

                     Slowly, one by one, other's joined. PaG, Onag, Merlin,
                     ZZTPyro. Steven tried to get up but he tripped on his own

                     However, it seemed that only half of the bunnies had
                     stood up, the rest sat and cowered at the mighty Noogy.
                     Once again, he was disgusted. He raised his mighty paw,
                     calloused from years of armorment, and shouted...

                     "Let it be written, on the day of my calling, we will
                     combat, and it will indeed be a day of Judgement. Let half
                     of you band with me, and the other half be against, and
                     we will seperate the weak from the strong. Then, and only
                     then, will I know who is worthy!!!"

                     The entire crowd was in an uproar! Several fights started
                     up. Was this to be the destiny of these rabbits? To combat
                     oneanother? Friend against friend as if foe? What manner
                     of sport was this?

                     But, it was from the pandemonium that the young bunnie
                     Jon and his smaller brother, Sean, realized that one day,
                     they too would follow in the footsteps of the Mighty
                     Noogy, and they realized that the day of Judgement would
                     be indeed significant. It was then that Jon shouted ..

                     "HAIL!! ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY NOOGY!! For he has
                     spoken, and given meaning to our pointless lives!! WE will
                     join in combat, and we will grow strong!!"

                     Slowly the rabbits began to chant Noogy's name, quiet at
                     first, then all in unison. They parted as Noogy got up from
                     the bar, and as they shouted his name, he slowly walked
                     out. He rode off, and the night continued, the festivities
                     went on. But it was now realized by all that there was a
                     purpose in life, and that it was good.

                     Few have seen Noogy since that day, but when he is seen,
                     perhaps in the sunset, perhaps in battle, stories become
                     legends, and legends carry on forever.....
  Jon MacLellan
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                     posted 04-22-98 8:56 AM
                     It had been a long hard day...

                     After a bitter and bloodthirsty battle such as this one the
                     victorious, by tradition, socialize in the local tavern and
                     talk about the day's events.

                     Although the bar was new to him, he couldn't help feeling
                     that he'd been here before. There was something about
                     this bar that sent a chill through his spine, as if at some
                     time in his past he'd been here... As he turned away from
                     the bar, Carrot Juice in hand, and looked at the solid
                     wooden door it all came back to him!

                     == Cue the Flash back music ==

                     He was very young at the time, he recalls another
                     member of his family being present, a female relation. His
                     mother perhaps.

                     As they were talking a stranger entered the bar and
                     everything went silent. All eyes in the bar were cast upon
                     this bunny. He was bright white in colour, his scarred body
                     and the missing tufts of fur showed that he'd been in a
                     tough battle. This bunny obviously had an attitude. The
                     stranger walked up casually to the bar, all eyes following
                     him. He ordered a Carrot Juice, turned round to face
                     everyone and announced his name was Noggy, or was it
                     Goony or Noogy... whatever. He was looking for other
                     mercenaries to join him. Slowly one by one bunnies
                     walked over to him and joined... they then began chanting
                     something but that’s not important :)

                     == Cut Flash back music ==

                     Sitting down at a table alone, he began thinking about
                     that night so many years ago. He suddenly realized that
                     he’d subconsciously modeled himself on this Noogy
                     character. Jon was a mercenary, he didn’t fight on
                     anyone's team, and he was his own person who came and
                     went as he chose. He answered to no one, lived by his
                     own set of rules. Wanting to know more about this
                     mysterious character, he approached the bartender and
                     starting questioning. The bartender looked up in surprise
                     when he heard the name "Noogy" and from that point on
                     spoke very little and seemed uneasy at times. Obviously
                     everyone in the area knew this Noogy bunny, but they all
                     seemed afraid. Very afraid. Jon was getting nowhere and
                     headed for the door.

                     Just before his hand made contact with the door handle, a
                     voice stopped him in his path. What’s more, it was a
                     female voice. Turning to see where the voice was coming
                     from his eyes made contact with a very beautiful bunny
                     sitting all alone in a dimly lit corner of the bar. This bunny,
                     yellow in colour, looked like she could handle herself ok in
                     the big wide world but there was something in her eyes
                     which gave the impression she was from a different
                     background. Perhaps royalty.

                     Approaching the table, he introduced himself and
                     accepted the offer join her. She didn't tell him her name.
                     She wasn't talkative. Her body language told him that she
                     trusted very few people and he was no exception. An
                     uneasy silence then followed. Both rabbits sipping their
                     drinks. Jon broke the silence. "Why did you call me back?”
                     "I couldn't help but hearing you were asking about the
                     rabbit they call Noogy." she replied. "What if I was... how
                     could you help me?" Jon then asked, he wasn't getting
                     anywhere. She sat back in her chair, sipped her drink and
                     replied "I just might know where you can find him." This
                     immediately caught Jon's attention. They continued
                     talking for some time. Jon learned that although everyone
                     know of this Noogy, no one in the area really knew that
                     much about him, in fact it seemed that only she had ever
                     spoken to him. His team of battle hungry mercenaries had
                     long since disbanded years ago. Jon learned that most
                     sightings of Noogy were in Diamondus at a famous
                     battleground that most referred to as the Diamondus
                     Warzone. Another battleground known as Chemical
                     Warfare was another area mentioned but he learned he'd
                     only been spotted there maybe once or twice.

                     This was all he needed to know. Thanking her and
                     excusing himself he turned to her with a puzzled look on
                     his face. "Why did you help me?". Again she took her time
                     before answering, finally answering "It was something in
                     your eyes." Jon smiled and got her number :)

                     He set off for Diamondus. It wasn't far by foot, maybe 1
                     hour. He wasn’t really sure why he wanted to find this
                     bunny. Something in his heart told him it had to be done...
                     A showdown perhaps or just to talk?

                     To be continued...
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-22-98 12:01 PM
                     Hehheehheh, Dean, Jon, that was the best story yet!

                     - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-22-98 4:20 PM
                     "BRAVO!" Cries a weak and almost dead voice from
                     underneight the pile of plaster and rafters. ;)

                     The above message was edited 04/22/98
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-22-98 5:45 PM
                     Great storys Dean, Jon! Still, can't let you guys out-write
                     us :o) Lets see now...

                     Buster walked slowly down a dark path toward the tavern.
                     It had been a while since he had been there. ever since
                     the day he joined up with Noogy, his whole life seemed to
                     begin crashing down around him. Noogy had offered many
                     battles, many victorys, but that was before he had been
                     abandoned by him. He reflected upon how he had come to
                     his present state...just when he had been left upon a
                     bloody battle ground, all alone...

                     ---He was in the heat of battle in the Diamondus Warzone.
                     He was fighting hard, right by Noogy's side, against an
                     army of blood red rabbits. "Must be some sort of cult," he
                     thought. "I wonder who they are.."
                     The fight was awful. The smell of burnt ozone filled his
                     nostrels, while the smell of burnt fur lay thick and heavy.

                     Smoke filled the air, blotting out the setting sun, and
                     making it difficult to see ahead. The sounds of battle rang
                     in his ears so loud that he thought he would go mad. The
                     screams! The screams! Where were they coming from?
                     Were they the painful outcrys of his friends, or were they
                     the dying shouts of a thousand red rabbits? It was
                     impossible to tell. Onag had left him an hour ago. He
                     hadn't seen him since. Was he still alive, or had he added
                     to the screams of pain that surounded him? What of
                     Dethman, who only moments before had been roasting
                     red bunnys unlike any bunny he had ever seen, second
                     only to Noogy? Where were his friends?!

                     A shot blazed past his right ear, just close enough that he
                     could feel the stinging power surging within the mighty
                     blast. These were no ordinary rabbits. They kept coming,
                     and as soon as one was down, three more took his place.
                     Where was Noogy? Turning to his left, he called out to his
                     leader. No answer.

                     "No," he thought, "it is not possible that they could have
                     killed Noogy! Where is he? And where am I? I can't see a
                     thing for this blasted smoke!"

                     Leaping into the air, he fired several blasts in no particular
                     direction, and, hitting the ground, ran for a large boulder
                     he saw in a clearing through the smoke.

                     "What now? The smoke is so dense, I can't see my paw in
                     front of my face! It's a mirical I even saw this rock!"

                     Peaking up from the top of his cold cover, he tryed hard to
                     make out various forms in the smoke. One was white.

                     "Noogy!" He cryed, leaping from his cover...

                     It wasn't Noogy. It was another one of those red bunnys,
                     this one holding a white gun...none of the red rabbits were
                     using white guns...

                     Before he could think of who in his team had such a
                     weapon, he was knocked sinceless with a blast of ice.

                     When he recovered, the battle was over, the smoke was
                     gone. Blood stained the once green grass, and the bodys
                     of red bunnys lay everywhere. He heard a lone bird
                     chirping in the distance. There was no sign of Noogy, or
                     his team.

                     He couldn't understand why he was still alive, nor why his
                     teammates had not taken him with them. Where had they
                     gone? Leaving the battle ground, he headed for the

                     "Maybe I will find my answers, as well as my friends, back
                     in the tavern. I will go, and I will find out just what

                     Returning to the present, Buster saw a grey bunny
                     walking down a different path, not far from the one he was
                     walking on now. The look on his face said that he, too, was
                     searching for answers to his questions...

                     The above message was edited 04/22/98
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-22-98 6:44 PM
                     Armageddon sat at the bar. He ordered a V8 and quickly
                     chugged it down. He wiped the orange broth from his face
                     and sighed. The bartender who was wiping a wooden mug
                     heard Armageddon sigh and began to speak:
                     "What's the problem Arm? Not enough carrots in ya'
                     brew?" Asked the Bartender.
                     "No. It's just....ahh, you don't wanna know." Said
                     "Sure we do Arm! Right Guys?!"
                     "SURE WE DO!" Cried a chorus of drunken rabbit's.
                     "Well, okay." Said Armageddon. "I was practicing my new
                     shootin' when out of the blue came three strong blue
                     rabbits.They called themselves the Waren Bros.
                     "They had challenged me to a fight. I fight of wits,
                     strength and corage. The game was CTF.
                     "Well," I said, "Let's get started!"
                     "No." Said one. "We must make a bet."
                     "I bet." I gasped. "Of what sort?"
                     "If you win I shall give you a power possesed by not
                     many, if we win...uh we get you soul."
                     "MY SOUL?!? Good deal."
                     "Three againts one," I thought "is unfair, unless I'm on the
                     side with one player."
                     "We shook hands and the game begun. I was on red. We
                     where playing for two points.
                     "I ran across the feild. Seeing the blue base I leaped and
                     hovered in for the flag. No one was guarding it. I leaped
                     out with it and to my base.
                     "On the way I met Warren who was collecting ammo. I let
                     a coup smart missles lose on him and leaped into the
                     warp. I collected ammo, grabbed a carrot for later and ran
                     into the next warp, sending me extreamly close to my
                     base. I hovered in and cashed in a point.
                     "I leaped out and met Warren. He was trying to get into
                     red base. I laughed and froze him. Just when I was about
                     to give him an uppercut Warren karate kicked me. I flew
                     off the ledge and hit the ground with a loud THUD!
                     "I got up and was about to blast both Warrens to
                     smithereens when I got an evil plan. I ran to blue base
                     and rather than steal the blue flag I hopped on top of the
                     base. When I saw Warren run back with the flag I leaped
                     down on top of him.
                     "Get off me you maggot!" He screamed.
                     "I leaped off him and froze him. I then gave him the
                     uppercut and he chattered to bits. I grabbed the blue flag
                     and ran up the hill with it.
                     "From above leaped Warren protected with a green
                     "But I killed you!" I called. "You can't be back! And with
                     black magic!!"
                     "He did not talk, he just fired his smart missols. Three of
                     them wizzed at my head. I ducked and they flew
                     overhead. They turned around and flew back at me.
                     Seeing Waren had only three seconds left on his green
                     bubble I ducked. The missles wizzed overhead of me and
                     flew into Warren. He exploded in a bloody display.
                     Shrapenel hit me and I was wounded. I couldn't make it to
                     the base with my last ounce of streingth. I needed a
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 12:21 AM
                     Merlin stood on the smoking battlefield. The blackened
                     husks of turtles lied strewn about the scarred wasteland.
                     Just as he was tallying a few more kills onto his gun with a
                     shard of turtle shell, he smelled something. "Ah, that foul
                     odor is unmistakeable!" (His comrade, Dethman, smelled
                     his armpits) "No, not you, Dethman, THAT is the scent of
                     the malodorous Warren Bros! You hold off the advancing
                     horde, and I will go investigate!" "No problem," said
                     Dethman as he cooly dispatched an enormous tortoise.
                     When he arrived at the scene, it was almost too late.
                     Armageddon sat with his back against the wall, clutching
                     the flag. Blood was dripping from the corners of his mouth
                     which, contrary to his pain, was upturned in a cruel smile
                     as he sent chunks of Warren brother hurtling over my
                     head. It wasn't enough, though. The last warren brother
                     his gun, rendering it useless. He stood over Armageddon,
                     trying to decide what would be the cruelest method of
                     killing him. Merlin crept up behind him...
                     Just as he was aiming to roast Armageddon alive with the
                     fire setting, Merlin tapped him on the shoulder. Warren
                     whirled around, and was surprised to find the still red-hot
                     barrel of Merlin's gun shoved into his mouth,
                     knocking out his front teeth. Warren shook his head from
                     side to side in one last plea of mercy. Merlin shook his
                     head up and down as his blood boiled at the sight of the
                     wounded Armageddon. He turned the dial to the ice
                     setting, and squeezed the trigger... After removing the
                     barrel from Warren's mouth, he found that Warren's
                     frozen head shattered nicely against his spike-enamored
                     fist. He shouted for a medic, and after the hand-off from
                     Armageddon, ran the flag home...
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 12:25 AM
                     By the way, I'm not familiar with the Chemical Warzone
                     server, but have seen it and
                     would greatly appreciate access. Whoever's in
                     charge of that, if you think I am worthy to join, or would
                     like to give me a chance to prove myself, would you
                     please E-mail me the
                     Much obliged,
                     Merlin the Mighty
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 1:05 AM
                     And by the way CRAZY good stories everybody- Dean,
                     Jon, those were way cool and funny.
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 1:17 AM
                     Hehe, the Chemical Warzone server rules!

  Dean Dodrill
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 3:37 AM
                     Noogy sees fit only those who are chosen to combat
                     within the realm of the Chemical Warzone!! This is a realm
                     controlled by the ever so powerful jeh empire, and only a
                     humble few are deemed worthy to enter, while only one
                     may live!! It is indeed a fantastic realm, yet quite
                     forboding upon the first outlook. Beware, this is the realm
                     of the great Noogy's greatest battles!!!

                     This great fighter has not abandoned you all, instead he
                     rests, training in a far off land, and preparing himself for a
                     day of greatness, where all will see his might.

                     -Noogy has spoken
  Jon MacLellan
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 7:40 AM

                     Heh, the Chemical Warfare server is a test server I set up
                     which is running a new CTF map I just finished working on
                     which goes by the same name.

                     A couple of people have been testing stuff for me. Thanks

                     You'll have the map sometime next week hopefully, but
                     for now the server remains private :p
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 2:26 PM
                     "...that is the scent of the malodorous Warren Bros! You
                     hold off the advancing horde, and I will go investigate!"
                     "No problem," I heard myself saying..
                     Little did I know how mistaken I was.
                     Annoyingly, I eliminated another huge turtle..
                     Man.. gotta hate it when they invade a rabbit's private
                     space. I mean, here I could be off on some trip.. hunting
                     for the ancient legend.. or perhaps self made legend,
                     I always wondered what had happened to him..
                     A loud snap jarred me from my reverie, the strike just
                     missing my head.. and cutting off part of my head band.
                     Raising my BL95-22a model gun, recently bought from
                     underground sources, the best availible.. I set the
                     kill-mode for the 2nd highest setting: Obliterate.
                     Releasing untold energy, coming from some unknown
                     source, the weapon blew fury from it's mouth, the recoil
                     sending me smashing into a nearby rock..
                     Thank goodness I had just bought top-notch rabbit armor
                     from the black market. Even though heroes weren't
                     supposed to do stuff like "Underground" and "Black
                     Market" not to mention many other things, I found it quite
                     Again my thoughts had taken me from reality, something
                     I had to improve on.. a warrior never loses focus on his
                     task.. he never loses his honor, especially if he is a true
                     Glancing over where the turtle was, I noticed the blast
                     had completely Obliterated the turtle.. along with a large
                     rock, two trees, three other turtles behind him, and a
                     generally large crater in the ground.
                     Hmm... so far the gun seemed to work.
                     Well worth the credits.
                     "And there I was.. lying upon the rock. Everything was
                     Merlin sighed as he read the scribbled sloppy writing..
                     obviously written in a hurry. In fact, it stopped there.
                     DethMan's ideas of things being peacefull... obviously
                     He glanced around the tavern.
                     No one really knew about the letter, or what had
                     happened to DethMan.. rumor had it he was still out there,
                     fighting monsters, causing a wake of destruction in his
                     Obviously rumors.

                     Glancing around, he slipped out the cavern into the black
                     of night.. he had to get to that last battle, and find out
                     what had truely happened.


                     Finishing his daily log, he glanced around.
                     He was DethMan.
                     Oh sure, there were rumors of his greatness, but really
                     only rumors.
                     He was just doing his job.
                     A subtle move in the distance caught his attention. A very
                     subtle move.
                     In fact, it was only a shadow that moved.
                     Whether he was good, bad, a legend, or just another
                     warrior rabbit with honor, he didn't care. Years of
                     experience had taught him that when a shadow moves,
                     the being claiming the shadow did not intend to have
                     dinner. Unless of course DethMan was the dinner.
                     Raising his gun, he quietly aimed.. good thing he always
                     left the safety off, the loud click would've given him away.

                     Thinking second thoughts, he clicked the level of
                     destruction up to the top.
                     Total Annihilation.
                     Thinking a third thought, he quickly set up his gun upon a
                     Sitting to the side of the huge gun, he attached one of the
                     fusion power packs to it.
                     And carefully squeezed the trigger.
                     The power drain was immense, seeming to use more than
                     just the fusion's energy.. as though it came from an
                     unkown source.
                     The blast temporarily blinded him, sending a pure stream
                     of solid energy towards it's target.
                     As his sight restored, he looked around; his gun was gone,
                     all that remained were some marks in the dirt, indicating
                     his should've attached the gun to a local mountain, and
                     even then, the recoil probably would've pushed it into the
                     Then he glanced towards where the shadow was.
                     In it's place, there was a crater so large, and so deep, it
                     stopped just by his feet.
                     And in the center of it was a monster, a huge monster,
                     obviously raging at the pinprick on it's arm.. twice the size
                     of a T-Rex, twice the power, and twice the speed.
                     In fact, that's all his gun had done.
                     A pinprick.
                     Five hundred million, down the drain.. he should've known
                     And then there was the other problem.. the monster was
                     staring at him, intent upon a kill.
                     And running towards him.
                     Even judging the size of the crater, it would take only
                     seconds for the beast to be upon him.
                     He was defenseless... his gun was gone.
                     Well, not quite defenseless. He still had the legendary
                     Krak'tach knife, that only was heard of in legends.
                     About 12" long, and a razor sharp blade, the handle made
                     of solid Diamond. Solid...
                     Brandishing the blade, he ran towards the creature, his
                     own rage powering his legs, his honor powering his hands,
                     he was a true warrior, intent upon the task ahead.
                     However grim it was.
                     Annoyinged, the monster held it's head high, his cheeks
                     bulging with some kind of chemical..
                     He released it into the air, straight towards DethMan.
                     As it traveled, it turned into a blazing rage of fire, turning
                     DethMan's previous position into an inferno.
                     The moster raged, screaming a cry that travelled across
                     the country, an earsplitting cry that would tear a rabbit's
                     heart out.
                     DethMan glanced around.. nothing was within reach of
                     cover, and if a BL whatever gun couldn't touch this guy,
                     his knife would do nothing.

                     In the tavern, late within the night, a screech washed
                     over the valley.. a noise that would tear the hearts out of
                     the great Programmers themselves.

                     It was pitch black.. seconds ago it had been broad
                     daylight, and now it was as dark as the thoughts of the
                     nearby beast.
                     He glanced down at his Krak'tach knife.. and noticed
                     something odd.
                     It wasn't made of diamonds alone, it was made of a
                     legendary carrot diamond once owned by the princess of
                     Earlong.. Eva.
                     Through the pitch black, the diamond glowed as though it
                     were daylight.
                     Hoping to distract the monster, he threw the knife at it's
                     Striking the monster, it, amazingly, wounded it.
                     Shreaking in terror, it slashed it's huge claw upon
                     DethMan, putting a huge gash across his arm, rendering it
                     He was dead... in all his time he never had met a monster
                     with such fierceness...
                     A flashback of his life appeared before him..
                     It looked like an army commercial.
                     He needed more than a miracle..
                     It was then that God decided to spare him.
                     Taking a last glance around, even as the monster loomed
                     over him, preparing to have a tasty meal, he noticed the
                     Krak'tach knife lying not three feet away.
                     Only it was no longer a knife..
                     It was a surging energy, a portal into the unkown, a ripple
                     in time..
                     Taking one last glance at the destruction about him, he
                     A decision that would put him in untold perils, of untold
                     worlds, in untold times..
                     A decision that would throw him into a time of the untold..
                     a portal in time.
                     Gathering what little strength he had, he took a final leap
                     towards the portal, even as the monster seemed to be
                     sucked in with him..
                     He would need more than a miracle to survive this..
                     Even as he was hurtled into the warp, he cried out his only
                     Amplified by the ripples in time, the word Merlin echoed
                     throughout the galaxy, throughout time.. even as he was
                     cought into the warp, his cry suddenly cut off, thrown into
                     time.. thrown into......

                     Perhaps the rumors were true.. even as DethMan was
                     sucked into the warp, one thing remained: Pure
                     And a single legendary Krak'tach knife..

                     - DethMan

                     P.S. Don't try falling into a portal at home, remember,
                     we're praoffeesionall. And we know how to speel. :)

                     The above message was edited 04/23/98
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 4:43 PM
                     "Well, now we have a taste of what Deathmans up to."
                     Said Armageddon, slurping down a mug of carrot ale.
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 7:26 PM
                     Jesus christ you people have no lives
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-23-98 9:40 PM
                     That's too there a short version?
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-24-98 12:13 AM
                     You know, Damo, many of these guys probably have fine
                     writing careers ahead of them- where better to practice? I
                     plan to become a writer of fiction novels someday. Is
                     there a place where one such as myself could practice for
                     that without being the subject of such judgement? What if
                     people were to judge you solely on the content of your
                     posts? I think for at least several of us here, the word
                     "Butthole" comes to mind- and only that word because
                     swearing is against the rules.

                     Dethman- It will take me a while to come up with a
                     continuance on that one :>
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-24-98 1:11 AM
                     ...your story I mean. That was worthy of a reply of similar
                     effort :>
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-24-98 3:19 AM
                     Talez jumps into a local play treasure hunt wearing the
                     classic green, red, blue, white of classic Jazz colours.

                     I takes the left side grabbing the first 4 green gems that
                     are near me to give a commanding lead. Meanwhile my
                     opponents are just sitting there trying to open the big red
                     gems. I jump down to the OMF statues grabbing 2 more
                     gems and then open up the big one... Me 40 opponents
                     are 20 and 16. Then jumping through the nearest
                     teleporter there are 2 more green gems. Taking a flying
                     leap to the right I land on the "OMF run" where the
                     statues and springs are taking every jewel in sight. I grab
                     a few rockets and meet up with my opponent. A few well
                     placed rockets knock his gems out. the K6200 starts to
                     grind from the sheer amount of explosions and weaponry
                     going. I grap the 30 or so gems that he drops and
                     skedaddle to the exit for a spectacular 120 gem finish.....

                     Needless to say I won the next round :)

  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-24-98 12:15 PM
                     Well said, Merlin!

                     Oh, and by the way, please watch how you use the name
                     of Christ Jesus. It may not mean much to you, but it
                     means Life to us.

                     ~JazzPyro, who's still thinking about the second part of
                     his story.

                     I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
                     Philippians 4:13
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-24-98 3:48 PM
                     Yeah, really...if we can't make religious messages (which
                     I do agree with, I'm just stating the fact), then can damo
                     make anti-religious ones?...remember what board you're

                     Just had to say that...anyway, I've heard a rumor that
                     Jazz2 ships out today (Friday). Is this true?

  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-24-98 7:07 PM
                     Well said, JazzPyro:)

  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-25-98 12:54 PM
                     Today I played with a "Jazz" that was really good. I tried
                     to persuade him to change his name, but to no avail.
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-25-98 6:41 PM
                     The Saga of Buster, Part II

                     As Buster came closer to the tavern, he noticed
                     something very was quiet. Where were the voices
                     of many bunnies, drinking their carrot beer and speaking
                     of their adventures? What was going on? As he stepped
                     up to the door, all the light coming from the tavern
                     suddenly disappeared. It was dark. He opened the tavern
                     door and peered inside. There was no bunny there.

                     "Hello?" Buster called, his head just inside the cracked
                     open doorway, "Is anyone here?"

                     This seemed odd. Only moments before this place had
                     been lit up with the light of the flames from the few oil
                     lamps inside. Now it was empty. "Surely," thought Buster
                     to himself, "there must be someone here. Who put out the
                     lamps if no one is here? Perhaps, for some reason, the bar
                     closed early tonight. I should check the back rooms and
                     see if I can find the bartender. He hasn't had time enough
                     to leave yet."

                     Buster stepped into the dark room, looked around a little
                     just to make sure it really was empty, and walked up to
                     the door which stood behind the bar.

                     Somewhere in the bar, a lamp fell over and broke. Buster
                     froze. "You fool," Buster thought to himself, "how long
                     have you been a warrior, and here you are, unprepared to
                     defend yourself!" Buster slowly pulled his long, blue gun
                     from the holster on his back and with a slow, smooth
                     motion he snapped off the safety. He then set the gun's
                     power dial to "Shake N' Bake". Even if this was the tavern
                     he and his friends once visited almost daily he could not
                     leave himself open to attack. He looked around carefully,
                     wondering if he had just walked into a trap. After a
                     second, more cautious look, he decided that the tavern,
                     or at least the room he was in, was very empty and there
                     were no signs of danger that he was aware of.

                     He stepped closer to the door, and pressed his ear up
                     against it. From inside the next room he could hear a soft
                     rumbling sound, like some strange energy slowing
                     charging and growing louder moment by moment. The
                     sound caused the fur on the back of his neck to stand up.
                     Having second thoughts, he turned his gun's power level
                     up a few notches to "Deep Fat Fry", and stepped off to the
                     right side of the door, his back to the wall. He then
                     streched his arm across it, grabing the door knob with his
                     right paw, and slowly, carefully turning the knob.

                     He pressed the door open, being careful not to expose
                     himself, and waited, listening to the ever growing hum
                     coming from the next room.

                     Nothing happened.

                     He slowly tipped the barrel of his gun into the doorway,
                     yet still nothing happened. Laying back his ears so as not
                     to get them shot off, he peered carefully into the room.

                     In the center, flouting in midair, was a large, green,
                     glowing ball of energy pulsing, humming, and slowly
                     growing larger and brighter.

                     "Odd," thought Buster, "Why didn't I see the light coming
                     from around the edges of the door?" Even weirder, Buster
                     suddenly realised that while the ball was in fact glowing
                     brighter and brighter, it did not give light to anything
                     around it. He steped cautiously into the room.

                     "What is it? Magic?" There was something about the ball
                     that dazed Buster, and he lowered his gun and began to
                     walk closer, staring at the ball as though in a trance.
                     Somehow the ball seemed to call to him, telling him to
                     come closer. As buster stepped forward, tenticals of
                     energy began to burst from the serface of the ball like tiny
                     solar flares, stretching toward him and spilling back into
                     itself. Entranced by the voice he heard in his mind, he
                     moved ever closer to the ball of energy. With each step he
                     took it seemed to grow larger, brighter, and the tenticals
                     became longer, reaching out to him like a thousand hands
                     eager to take hold of him. They began to run over the tips
                     of his fur, causing them to stand on end with static
                     electricity, then they went deaper, running down to his
                     skin until finally, they touched his flesh.

                     Buster screamed, his whole body suddenly racked with
                     pain. A powerful energy surged through his whole body.
                     He could feel it tearing him limb from limb, and felt his
                     insides tearing loose. Then everything went black, and he
                     could feel himself falling down...down...down into the
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                     posted 04-25-98 10:00 PM
                     Merlin stood at the edge of a huge, charred crater. He had
                     felt a ripple in the magical plane the night before in his
                     crystal cave. It woke him right out of his deep, meditative
                     sleep. He felt extremely disturbed by this. Something
                     immensely powerful had forced its way through the
                     dimensional barriers and into diamondus. Only for a
                     minute though, for
                     it was soon shoved back through the hole. The gateway
                     was still open though, and Merlin's magical sensitivity had
                     led him very close to the gateway.
                     "Down there.." Merlin thought.
                     He hadn't seen his comrade, Dethman, since the day of
                     his encounter with the Warren Brothers. Maybe he was on
                     the right track.
                     "Yes..." He stooped down and picked up a clump of
                     charred fur, sniffing it. Blast residue.... Turtle blood...
                     cheap carrot beer... fine carrotleaf cigar... Dethman
                     alright. Even for a rabbit, his sense of smell was sharp. He
                     peered down into the crater. The air about him still tingled
                     with power. His head ached as it buzzed around him-
                     stifling almost. He knew he would need more than a gun
                     to get through this one. There were bigger things involved
                     here. He wondered if his old bones still had the strength to
                     be getting involved in something like this. Not to confuse
                     wondering with worrying, though. Turning and taking one
                     last look at his fair planet, he leapt into the pit....

                     (to be continued)
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                     posted 04-25-98 11:27 PM
                     It had been months since the rabbits in the tavern had
                     heard from Armageddon.
                     The door swung open. In came Armageddon. He was
                     holding his gun out, and the safty was off. He quickly
                     slammed shut the door and barracaded it. He slowly
                     calmed down and ordered a drink.
                     "Bartender, two Carrot Coladas. One for each hand." He
                     "Arm me freind. Ye' look like ye' seen eh ghost. Whi not
                     tell us all 'bout it." Said the bartender.
                     "Okay, but I don't have much time. I'll say it quick.
                     "Devan has sent a band of Schwartinturtles (sp) down
                     upon my warren (village) and they are guarding the
                     tunnels of my people. We are starving. We can hardly hold
                     them back. I was lucky I got out alive. Many of us have
                     been killed, for the turtles have strange black magic. It
                     protects them. I have come to find an army of rabbits to
                     join me in my attack upon the turtles. May the bravest
                     stand. (And I guess the second bravest can too.)"
                     Some of the rabbits stood, others acted like they didn't
                     hear, and some where too drunk to even stand.
                     "Thank you, brave rabbits who will assist me." Said
                     Armageddon. "And the rest of make me sad. Oh
                     yes, and Bartender, put those drinks on my tab."
                     "Losy tab." Mumbles the bartender. " 'Is is through the'

                     Armageddon leads the rabbits across the plains of
                     diomundus. On the way the met up with more rabbits to
                     join them in their battle, and a rabbit with a cheap pocket
                     watch who wouldn't stop saying 'I'm Late'.

                     Finally they reach the warren. Several Turtle's with
                     sheilds were patrolling the land above the rabbit holes. If
                     a rabbit so muched as looked out of their door he would be
                     "We need a plan." Said Armageddon.
                     The rabbits sat and thought for a while about it. Suddenly
                     they got an idea.
                     "Quick. Dig." Said Armageddon.
                     The rabbits dug a tunnel to connect onto the undergound
                     network of rabbits. They were soon evacuated.
                     "Now for the fun part." Said Armageddon.
                     He pulled out from his pack an immence weapon.
                     Everyone gasped for it was the Ultimate Weapon. Known
                     only in ledgends it was said only to be a rumor.
                     Armageddon loaded it and stepped into the clearing. All
                     the turtles looked in his direction.
                     Armageddon pulled the trigger of the gun. The force
                     launched him into a tree. The artilerie from it made a huge
                     crater where the turtles once stood. The rabbits cheered.
                     Suddenly the smoke cleared. Standing there was the
                     turtles. Their sheilds had protected them from the blast.
                     "Black magic!" Cried Onag.
                     Suddenly the sheilds started flashing. They had worn off.
                     Armageddon reloaded the gun and fired once more. This
                     time the tree was ripped out of the ground, tree and all.
                     The giagantic turtles where only empty shells, and
                     Armageddon had saved the day.

                     I know it's a lame story, but hey. I'm more a poet.
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                     posted 04-26-98 2:04 AM
                     One question...where's Chris Tom Cimafaric (or whatever)
                     and the other guy, what's his name?

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                     posted 04-26-98 2:43 PM
                     Here's a nice, braggy one for those of you who doubt my
                     skill :>
                     Last night, I entered a server. I was the only blue against
                     5 or 6 reds (toward the end
                     Inferno came in and helped me, and I don't want to
                     discredit him, but still...) When I got there, the other team
                     was ahead 5 to 1 or so. I had recently vowed to no longer
                     use shields, and wanted to see how far I could go with
                     that. The other team was led by Stripe, who foiled some of
                     my early attempts at scoring. We scored back and forth,
                     me against them, until they were on the brink of victory,
                     at 9 points, and I was at 5. Then I grit my teeth. Time to
                     show them what I was made of. I held them at 9 points,
                     and rained hellfire on their entire team, roasting them left
                     and right, and scoring despite the obvious attempts of
                     one of them to camp in my base (toward the end Inferno
                     helped with that, thanks man). I brought it up to 9 to 9.
                     My comrade, Koopa came in, onto their team of
                     course, but it was already too late. I got the flag, and
                     Stripe and I both took a violent run for the blue base, I
                     reached it first, barely, and while the lag prevented me
                     from scoring, it also prevented him from taking the flag,
                     so I prevailed. I had held them to 9 that whole time, and
                     while I was constantly hunted down by 4 of them (while
                     the other one camped), I was still too quick to let them
                     score. Let me attest to you that Stripe is a formidable
                     opponent, though, he had roasted me many times before
                     the game was
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                     posted 04-26-98 2:59 PM
                     Oh yeah one more thing:
                     Epic, I believe that I am now quite ready for
                     you. BRING JUDGEMENT DAY ON!
  Captain Spam
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                     posted 04-27-98 3:36 PM
                     Just one neat little move our team pulled off once...

                     Just one point left to go to take home another victory, so
                     one bunny went out for the flag while the rest of us (4, to
                     be exact) stuck around our base, ready to stop anyone
                     that came by.

                     Just so happens, someone was actually silly enough to
                     come out and try to get our flag.

                     Well, I guess it was just me, but it sure was fun seeing 4
                     jackrabbits turn and fire whatever we had all at once to
                     destroy him.

                     We won the game, in case you wondered.
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                     posted 04-27-98 4:46 PM
                     Interesting you should say this..

                     Because I LOVE doing what your enemy rabbit tried to do.

                     I love imagining the look on the other team's face when I
                     get through two guys doing the "shot block" and two other
                     guys on the outside chasing me.. then scoring. Oooh
                     that's fun.

                     Sorry if I drank too much Braggarian, it effected my story

                     - DethMan
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                     posted 04-27-98 4:55 PM
                     I love getting the smart missels, the sending a message
                     out (to everyone) that I don't have any ammo and I need
                     backup. Then I send a message to only my team saying
                     I'm joking. Then I blast the opponets when they come to
                     get me. :)
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                     posted 04-27-98 7:18 PM
                     on sunny day Me ( Spaz himself ) was wondering how the
                     heck were other evil rabbits getting into this one boxed in
                     place with missles! It took me I one hour *shhewww*
                     then I went into the weird warp and sayed
                     "ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this is how
                     to get in!!! AHH and ive been searing for one HOUR!"
                     Karatied kicked open the creates and went back to what
                     seemed like carrot war 3!!!! when no one was there I
                     graped the red flag (theirz) and ran straight towards the
                     blue station but to my !surprize! Before my eyes were 5
                     red bunnyz
                     quarding my post all five in a frenzzey to shot me down!
                     using my eletric green gun I roasted them 1 by 1 then I
                     scored my blue team a point!

                     thats all. right now he heee!!
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                     posted 04-27-98 7:52 PM
                     Hey guys.. I'm working on a "history" of general events in
                     the JJ2 universe.. what happened when kind've thing.
                     Thought you might want to know :)

                     If you want to change JJ2 history, now is the time to
                     speak up :-)

                     - DethMan

                     The above message was edited 04/27/98
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                     posted 04-27-98 8:05 PM
                     Finally I have something interesting to say:) This is a true

                     Wakeman and David entered the Diamondus Warzone. We
                     were both on the blue team. Our team was loosing
                     majorly. We didn't know what to do. Time was running
                     out. Then, when the red team had 9 points, Wakeman
                     came up with a desperate plan. It was called the "back-up
                     plan" Wakeman and David put the plan in action.
                     Amazingly enough, the red team couldn't score a point!
                     There has only been one rabbit to ever score a point while
                     they were doing the "back-up plan". He was, of course,
                     the villain Merlin. He cheats, you know.
                     You may be asking, "What is the 'back-up plan?' You'll
                     never know! Just beware. Whenever you see Wakeman
                     and David playing at the same time, be very afraid...of the
                     "back-up plan"


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                     posted 04-28-98 12:27 AM
                     Ahhh.... (smiling)
                     You know you're good when people start to
                     accuse you of cheating.
                     By the way, Dethman, have to agree with you on the shot
                     block thing.
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                     posted 04-28-98 2:20 PM
                     With a loud thump, he hit the ground.
                     Or what went for ground here.
                     DethMan looked at his surroundings..
                     A loud "Clink!" startled him, and he whirled to see...
                     The Krak'tach knife. Still glowing from inside the huge 24
                     carrot diamond handle.
                     Another sound made him jump.. some sort of swoosh....
                     He looked up just in time to see the time portal close..
                     The ground here was strange.. objects were pulsating
                     with life.
                     This place had been created by one of the great "Players."
                     He just knew it.. in fact..
                     he made it. Somehow, through some twisted time fate, he
                     had created this warp through Eva's diamond, somehow
                     using some strange technolegy alike Devan's time
                     Only he had triggered a kind of halt in time, a place where
                     time went on, but not in the real world...
                     Just what he needed.. going up against himself.
                     Not to mention the obviously Devan-Created monster he
                     had faught before.
                     Even if Merlin had been able to follow him before the
                     portal closed, it would've been distorted enough to put
                     him on the other side of this place.
                     Which meant he was alone...
                     with no defense except a knife...
                     Hmm.. that's not right, 'cause there was a huge gun lying
                     next to his side, of unkown make and model..
                     How convenient, maybe he was helping himself in some
                     twisted way.

                     Alone, with a big gun, and a knife...
                     Against whatever was out there..
                     He liked that.
                     Maybe this wouldn't be so bad after all...

                     To be continued.. in Warped. :)

                     - DethMan
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                     posted 04-28-98 6:20 PM
                     I knew it! From the day I played with you in CTF! I KNEW
                     IT ALL ALONG!! I'm okay. Really. Hehe. I knew it! Okay.
                     I'm fine. Really.
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                     posted 04-28-98 9:30 PM
                     Gizmo, I hope you're joking, as I hope Steven
                     was. If you are really accusing me of cheating I have a
                     couple of things that will prove you wrong.
                     1. I know no cheats for CTF
                     2. I seriously doubt epic made any that would
                     let someone successfully cheat in CTF. I mean, I've seen
                     Onag with some weird cheat in there but when he used it
                     it wouldn't let him get the flag. Also, if there were such a
                     cheat, do you think Epic would let someone like me get it?
                     Think how protective they are
                     of colored names.
                     3. It would violate my honor code- the same one that
                     prevents me from getting shields.

                     I'm pretty sure you guys aren't really accusing me, but if
                     you are I am going to be really angry- besides, accusing
                     someone of cheating is a classic defense of the sore loser.

                     Let me relate to you a previous experience I had with this.
                     It started out one fine saturday morning when I was
                     whooping some red tail. There was this disgruntled
                     who accused me of cheating because he couldn't roast
                     me. A few other reds testified
                     on my behalf that they had just roasted me.
                     I got really p***ed at the guy. Then he left,
                     and a few seconds later a character named "Merlin Sucks"
                     appeared on the red team. Yeah, that one was really hard
                     to figure out.
                     Anyway, there is no better way to p*** someone off and
                     devalue their Jazz2 accomplishments then by accusing
                     them of cheating. Maybe Epic can verify whether some
                     CTF god mode or something is actually in existence?
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                     posted 04-28-98 9:32 PM
                     Whoa, it edited the word p***? I didn't know the rules
                     were that strict...
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                     posted 04-28-98 10:33 PM
                     Merlin, I know that you didn't cheat. It was just the only
                     logical explanation that I could come up of how you got
                     through the "back-up plan"
                     BTW, Onag's cheat is not actually a cheat. It's more of
                     some strange progamming/messing around with files
                     type thing. It's just another one of his evil ways to mess
                     around with our minds...:)

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                     posted 04-28-98 11:00 PM
                     Hehehe that evil genius!

                     Anyway, steve I suspected that both of you were only
                     kidding, but the thought that maybe
                     you weren't is what brought me to defend myself :>
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                     posted 04-28-98 11:32 PM
                     Hehe, yeah, I mess with the files and have fun with it :)
                     There's no hacking involved...nothing like that. It's
                     actually VERY basic stuff.

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                     posted 04-29-98 4:28 PM
                     I guess it's too late, but Merlin, I meant when I was
                     talking to Deathman in CTF, and he asked me some stuff.
                     And then later I saw his "ad" for Warped on his page and
                     right there I knew it. Then he posted all these posts about
                     warping and stuff and I knew it more. But I won't tell what
                     I know about it. :). (Like I really know allot about it.)
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 04-30-98 11:12 PM
                     Carefully treading, DethMan came to a hault near a cliff.
                     His arm had healed by now, fully functional again.
                     He had been play-- trying to get out of this place for days
                     All he had seen in his time were hordes of monsters..
                     monsters, and more monsters.
                     It was never-ending! He wondered if even Merlin could
                     withstand this place, and it's death at every corner.
                     Stepping near the edge, he peared down..
                     Spikes. Lots of them.
                     They were so sharp and deadly they would kill any rabbit
                     instantly. No cuts or bruises, just poof.. dead. Well,
                     almost any rabbit.. the toughest would lie there a little
                     while before dieing.
                     He looked over the pit, and saw a small ledge on the other
                     side.. with what looked like some rotting vegetation..
                     perhaps that was the other way.
                     He looked down again.. he couldn't see the bottom of the
                     pit, but it was lined with spikes. Plenty to get him killed if
                     he fell.
                     Taking a deep breath, he leaped a mighty leap..
                     Or atleast, that's the way the happy story ends ;-)
                     He started to take a mighty leap across the pit, when he
                     slipped on something he hadn't noticed before:
                     Slime. A large puddle of slippery slime.
                     Flying through the air uncrontrolably, he was hurtled
                     towards the spikes on the walls..
                     towards his doom.
                     With a final act of desperation, he tried to aim his gun at
                     the spikes, maybe.. just maybe...
                     it was too late.
                     With a loud "thuk!" he slammed right into the spikes.. it
                     pearced his chest all the way through.
                     He was barely alive, but dieing..
                     He wondered if Merlin had even made it this far on his side
                     of the time warp.
                     Even as he was dieing, his vision blurred... every thing
                     was becoming blurred...
                     his body seemed to be glowing..
                     Then everything was black.
                     For two seconds.
                     The huge monster's claws cut a huge gash in his arm,
                     rendering it useless.
                     Wait a second, wasn't this diamondious?
                     The warphole opened..
                     Then it hit him.. somehow when he had, in some twisted
                     way, created the time warp, he had made it so that a
                     rabbit, just before totally dieing, would be sent back in
                     time, right before he went into the warphole..
                     Well, wasn't he clever to add a safety feature to the
                     Not that it made much difference, it would probably fail
                     the next time.
                     Completely open, the time warp sucked him in yet again...
                     through blackness... back to...

                     Any resembelance to any charactors other than those of
                     the MMB are a complete and total mistake, undoubtedly
                     the result of a strange warp in time ;-)

                     - DethMan

                     Jazz 2 City -=- By The J2C Team
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                     posted 05-01-98 2:08 PM
                     Ah, you gotta love convenient time loops.
                     Hey, that's kinda like getting killed in the game and
                     restarting the level, now I get it
                     I'll write my half tomorrow...
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                     posted 05-01-98 6:04 PM
                     Yeah, I know I'm missing something big here,
                     but what is WARPED???

                     That would help explain a few things.
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                     posted 05-01-98 7:50 PM
                     :D Hee hee. :D

                     :| My lips are sealed.
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                     posted 05-01-98 8:35 PM
                     Warped is a tile-set of unkown origin, unkown style,
                     unkown difficulty, and generally an unkown dimensional
                     time warp that will happen sometime soon, by me ;-)

                     - DethMan
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                     posted 05-03-98 1:36 PM
                     No, this is not the next part of "The Saga of Buster", as if
                     anybody was interested in that anyway :o)

                     Just thought I'd brag a little, seeing as that's what this
                     was intended for :o)

                     Just yesterday I started a server (I always get great baud
                     rates when I'm the server. Up in the 10000-11000+
                     range) and started playing.

                     Some other people joined, and we went on to Chem
                     Warfare. I'm not 100% sure who the other people were,
                     but Dino was there, sombody named Jed, and some other
                     people. Anyway, I scored every point, roasted every red
                     bunny again and again (I even roasted Electro as soon as
                     he showed up. He then left :o)

                     Basicly, I just kicked some "buns" :o)

                     Later that day I started another and begain all over again.
                     Gizmo was there, 007 I think, and Stripe too. Although,
                     somehow, the red flag disapeared and nobody could
                     win...a bug? It did that twice. The first time I restarted,
                     and then it did it again...

                     ~Buster, who's still looking for this "Noogy" fellow...

                     I can do everything through Him who Gives me strength.
                     Philippians 4:13
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                     posted 05-03-98 1:53 PM
                     silently, a black and white jazz with a golden gun strolled
                     into the tavern. "one martini, shaken, not stirred". as
                     Bond drank, the other rabbits looked at him expectently.
                     "do you expect me to talk?",they answered back, "no mr
                     bond, we expect you to die!!!!!!!!!!!!" so 007 hopped in
                     his BMW and cruised on over to chemical warfare. He
                     killed and chatted but he could not see the red flag!!!!!
                     niether could anybody else!!!!! buster was there, and
                     calvin and hobbes, and bart. well, after everyone got
                     ticked and left, we headed to diamondous warzone, where
                     armageddon (gizmo) joined, and it was fine there. well,
                     blue lost and chem. warfare came on, the same bug
                     happened, so we mostly just chatted and beat the crap
                     out of eachother. it was fun but blue couldnt score!!!!!!
                     so, at bout 11:30, i sighned off and left to post this
                     message right here, but i couldnt get on the board!!!!!!!!
                     so i went back to the bar, jumped off a dam, got some
                     chicks,and saved the world from death by destroying a
                     fatal russian satellite that was programmed to melt the
                     US. so, it turned out to be a pretty normal day.
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                     posted 05-03-98 3:44 PM
                     The nerve of some people!

                     I was in a game (this was yesterday) and some guy
                     named Bart kept grabing the shield. So I went down to
                     where the shield was and waited, knowing that Bart would
                     come back when his shield was up. Well, one of Barts
                     other teamates came by to grab it, and since he had a
                     better advantage than I did, I went ahead and got the
                     shield (I was waiting beside it) and blasted him. So then
                     he yells "Buster is a shield camper!" Humph.

                     (If you are reading this, try "Bart" instead)


                     I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
                     Philippians 4:13
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                     posted 05-03-98 5:37 PM
                     sorry pyro dude, i was joking when i said that.
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-03-98 5:54 PM
                     then a green bunny walked in
                     no noe noteiced him he pulled out his blue gun and shot
                     the roof everyone jumped
                     and everyone creeamed Its Jazz Hes returned!
                     wveryone got so close to him theyalmost kissed and
                     Jazz said "iiiiii'm back!"
                     Jazz siad "i have a story to tell spaz and me got in to a ctf
                     war it wasnt really spaz it was an imposter poseing as
                     spaz! he got my blue flag! i got mad and pulled out my
                     rocket launcher ammo and killed kim 30 times got his red
                     flag and beat his sorry booty in then i got my flag back
                     and won he then got mad and tryed to raost me but i
                     pulled out my flamethrower and roasted him then i said
                     Heh i beat you!"
                     Jazz stared to walk out when someone stoped him
                     Jazz said "uh spaz or are you the imposter?"
                     Spaz said "the real thing is there an imposter?"

                     End of story
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                     posted 05-03-98 8:54 PM
                     Oh look! It's the REAL Jazz!
                     (Sigh) There must be about 20 people out there that play
                     under your name. How are we supposed to know which
                     one you are?

                     Merlin dove into a patch of brambles. He peered out at the
                     beasts as they approached his hiding spot. They sniffed
                     the air, and drooled as they once again found his scent.
                     They approached the thicket...
                     BLAM! BLAM!
                     White-hot lead shot searing through the air as Merlin
                     jumped up and out of the brambles, firing for all he was
                     worth. He plinked one of the scaly beasts on the shoulder,
                     crippling it. The other two lunged for him. He ducked as
                     the first one dove over his head, and then leapt into a
                     might uppercut, slamming the second one in the stomach
                     and carrying it with him up into the air. As Merlin fell down
                     again, he twirled his helicopter-ears until he was floating
                     directly over the first beast. Then, letting himself fall, he
                     centered the sharp end of his staff directly under him, and
                     landed on the beast's back, driving it through and out its
                     stomach. Merlin quickly pulled it out, and ran- for he knew
                     he would still be followed. He had to find Dethman....
                     Soon, he approached a wide pit. It was just wide enough
                     that it would be possible to jump
                     across- but one false move and he would plummit to the
                     spikes below.
                     Just as he was ready to jump, he saw something. It was a
                     rabbit on the other side.
                     Dethman! He watched as the rabbit ran and tried to jump
                     across, but slipped.
                     Dethman's body was impaled on the spikes at the edge of
                     the wall below him. Merlin watched as the life drained
                     from Dethman's body. Then suddenly...
                     In a flash of green light, Dethman's body disappeared.
                     Merlin gasped... then he sensed what it was.
                     Maybe if he hurried he could catch up to Dethman.
                     He took a look down at the pin-pointed, razor
                     -edged spikes in the pit below.
                     Not too inviting...
                     Merlin leaned forward and let himself drop off of the edge..

                     He fell...
                     and fell..
                     and fell...
                     SQUATCH! 11 spikes ran themselves through his
                     body. His convulsions of pain were stopped by the fact
                     that his limbs were stuck on their cruel shafts. There was
                     not much time for pain however, because the life was
                     rapidly leaving his body...
nbsp; Eva
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-04-98 4:04 AM
                     In the Jazz 2 Internet Play, I'm known as Karen, a Spaz
                     player who's blue and orange. What can I say? I catch
                     flags and let others do the killing. When I do, there's a
                     65% chance I end up roasted, unless I grab the sheild.

                     The only reason people know me is because I am the one
                     known to use the word "spazzed" a lot. Me and someone
                     named Alex continue to fight about who's more

                     Anyway, for a war story, I enjoy frying servers and
                     opponent flag carriers. If someone is off guard, I blast
                     them in the head (usually without killing them) karate kick
                     them and zip away as fast as possible. SOmetimes they
                     die, sometimes they don't. But I try to kill all opponents.
                     Except anyone named Razz. razz kills quick and hard.
                     WHich I hate. He kept getting the flag and then blew my
                     brains out before I could find him. Then one time he died
                     somehow (I didn't kill him), I grabbed the flag, I ran. The
                     opposite team tried to get into our base and retrieve the
                     flag. They didn't have weapons ready while they were
                     jumping. I leaped. I leaped again. I scored a point. They
                     took my flag. I got killed. I lost. the end.
  The Lion
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-04-98 8:55 AM

                     It was a ordonery night at the war tavern.Untill the door
                     a new bunny with a coat that reaches to her feet,a agent
                     hat and sunglasses enters. he starts to tell a warstorie.It
                     happened a long time ago...........Then the door slams
                     open a bunny enters and shoots the storyteller the story
                     teller exploads. -Who are you and why did you shoot the
                     other guy.My name is Joe Jackrabbit im known as Puma
                     and he were no bunny he was a robobunny devans newest
                     invention.Im here because i have a warstorie to tell.......
                     To be continued.........

                     (Ps sorry if its boring)


  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-04-98 11:51 AM
                     For the third time, he had died...

                     And here he was again, right back at the beginning.
                     He had lost track of the time that had gone by.. it almost
                     seemed like something was subtly controlling his
                     actions... probably the legendary "Players." Who were
                     outside of the universe, somehow haveing a link into the
                     Jackrabbit Universe through a strange machine.
                     Legends called it a computer.
                     He looked around. This wasn't right, he was at a different
                     spot than the beginning.. perhaps the safety was wearing
                     off? Or did it have something to do with the thing he had
                     touched around this area.
                     Maybe both?
                     Well, it didn't seem familiar.. of course, nothing in this
                     place was.
                     If Merlin was cought in here, then that must mean other
                     bunnies could have gotten here also...
                     There were over 300,000 bunnies on the Planet of
                     And about 90% or more of those wouldn't get past the
                     first few seconds of this stange dimensional warp.
                     There had to be some kind of gigantic "computer"
                     controlling this place.. perhaps part of it was within the
                     dimensional warp.. if he could send some heavy
                     explosives around there, then maybe it would blow
                     through the porthole, and destroy the computer also!
                     Yes! That was it!
                     Great.. now he had to find the thing.
                     And he had no batteries left for the safety feature.
                     He had figured out that the strange bunny shaped
                     "batteries" refilled the safety feature.
                     But he had only found one of those.
                     All around him the place was black as night...
                     He could barely make out some gooey vines ahead, no
                     doubt full of spikes.
                     Perhaps he could blow a hole through it, something THAT
                     thin SHOULD react to his gun.
                     Nothing else really had, except some of the creatures.
                     If the warphole had opened wide enough to accept
                     bunnies from different parts of Diamondous and the
                     Tavern.. maybe it had even reached to Coruscent where
                     Leia might be able to convince the council to form a large
                     fleet and-- er. Wrong story ;)

                     Maybe it had even reached to Carrotus, where Onag was.
                     If it had reached that far, then perhaps it had reached to
                     other legendary warriors, who could help him destroy the
                     great computer.
                     Legends like The Legendary Noogy, Alex of the Seven
                     Seas, The Great PaG, and many others.
                     If they could join together, they would be undefeatable!

                     He started towards the vines, bringing his strange
                     dimensional blast-gun to bear; undoubtedly a gun from
                     the "players" themselves.
                     Suddenly the ground gave beneath him!
                     /i It always starts with "Suddenly" /i :)
                     DethMan screamed, the sound echoing upwards as he was
                     litterally sucked into a slimy, slippery, and extremely long
                     Even as he was plumitting to what would undoubtedly be
                     his death, he thought of how stupid he was..
                     The place was filled with treachery, and plenty of ways to
                     That trick was so obvious, he should've seen it.
                     After days of trying to get out of here, and avoid the
                     numerous traps, the huge warp had finally captured him...

                     Not if he could help it.

                     - DethMan
                     Jazz 2 City -=- By the J2C Team

  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-04-98 11:57 AM
                     I enjoy reading this thread and everything but I think it's
                     getting a tad to long. Maybe we should start another one
                     to continue it.

  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-04-98 2:40 PM

                     - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-04-98 4:16 PM
                     and theres 30 that playunder yours merlin ok
                     heres what yave been waitin for the next part

                     Jazz said "yeah"
                     spaz pulls out his little gun
                     Spas said "lets kick some booty!
                     jazz and spaz put on thier blue headbands and walk into
                     the grounds where the imposter wis playing
                     jazz ans spaz says "we challange you to a game"
                     (i)spaz said "ok let me get devan and my brother!"
                     ( (i) means its the imposter talking )
                     Jazz ans spaz said *gasp* "devan!"
                     suddenly a worm hole sucks jazz nad spaz into the worm
                     spaz made a fine landing but jazz landend on some spikes
                     spaz said "jazz you alright???"
                     jazz said "no not really"
                     end of part 2
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-04-98 5:24 PM
                     Sounds like a copier (G)

                     - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-04-98 8:11 PM
                     It was dark. He awoke in a strange place with no
                     recolection of how he got there. Onag's leg had been
                     wounded by the somewhat large spike he seemed to have
                     fallen onto.

                     The last thing he remembered was fighting some baddies
                     on Carrotus. How had he gotten here? What was this
                     place? At any rate, he felt the life being sucked out of him.
                     He needed to get his wound bandaged or he wouldn't last
                     much longer.

                     As he dragged himself along the slimy ground, he came
                     across a newly dead bunny. He used some cloth from the
                     rabbit's pack to temporarily stop the bleeding in his leg.
                     This would hold him until he could find the propper
                     materials to do it right.

                     Suddenly, several yards ahead of him, he noticed a
                     briliant flash of green light. Out of curiosity, he slowly
                     approached the area where he saw the flash, which at this
                     point still held a steadily dying pale green glow.

  profile | email | edit |
                     posted 05-05-98 10:10 PM
                     Ok, everyone, continue your stories in
                     the War Tavern 2, by Dethman.... however, I am STILL the
                     bartender (disguised) :>

                     Wow, this topic has gone 80 posts... do I get
                     an award or something?
                     j/k Dethman has spent the most time in here,
                     his stories have been colossal (sp?) wish I had the time to
                     write that much... wish I had the time to read everyone's
                     stories, too!

War stories 2 -----------------------------------------------------

  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-04-98 2:47 PM
                    This is where Warstories thread is continued..
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-04-98 3:46 PM
                    SLAM! (ever famous sound ;)
                    DethMan landed on a soft pile of.. leaves? Dead plants?
                    He looked around... amazing.
                    No one to attack him, no spikes, nothing really but a huge
                    room, that was currently pretty dark.
                    Perhaps the other way, through the vines, was the wrong
                    way, and most people were not supposed to find this
                    A small, almost indestinctable sound reached his ears.. the
                    soft squish squish of someone walking on the local terrain.
                    Then again, maybe this was the original trap.
                    Go figure.
                    His gun had been thrown almost a meter away from him.
                    squish.. squish..
                    Time to make an ever famous...
                    Super speed burst!
                    He jumped up, slamming into the ground, his feet going
                    faster and faster... sparks flew..
                    squish.. squish..
                    It was louder, not two meters away.
                    With an elegent, yet powerfull burst, DethMan's powerfull
                    rabbit form flew with amazing speed towards the gun.
                    His entire body slammed into a huge, not to mention ugly,
                    Whipping out his Krak'tach knife, he stabbed with such
                    speed and power, than even the greatest legend of
                    legends, the one who's name was unkown, would be proud.

                    Roaring as the Krak'tach knife sliced all the way through his
                    huge hand, the monster brought his hand back too slam
                    once again into DethMan, which would knock him
                    With a final burst of speed, and a jump, DethMan grabbed
                    his gun.
                    Still sliding backwards, he whipped around, firing a
                    dimensional warp slice straight into the monster's hand.
                    The bright energy crushed into the huge hand, making it
                    disappear, and putting a permanent cut in the time-warp.
                    Undoubtedly into a worse time warp.
                    The monster roared, bringing up half his arm up to slam
                    down on DethMan.
                    The arm itself had no blood from the dimensional rip gun,
                    instead it just seemed to fade out.
                    The hand came down again..
                    With only seconds to lose, DethMan rolled to the side, at
                    the same time bringing up the D-Rip-Blaster, lightly
                    touching the hair trigger.
                    The DRB roared, sending him flying into a nearby wall, even
                    as the dimensional rip energy fired straight into the
                    monster's arm, making it disappear entirely; even grazing
                    the huge monster's ear, sending it fading into whatever
                    the rip-hole opened.
                    This was it, it was kill or be killed.
                    The lowdown on the badguy verses goodguy.
                    Naturally the hero always won...
                    uh, right?
                    The monster crashed into the ground with a huge leap,
                    bringing him right up to DethMan.
                    The ground rumbled, splitting in several places.
                    Nothing was beyond, except a seething energy.. the walls
                    of this warped place.
                    Beyond the walls, time.. and where time was, there was
                    Only there was one huge monster in his way.
                    Flicking the D.RIP. Blaster to it's highest setting, he swung
                    the gun up, even as the monster loomed over him.
                    With a huge burst of energy, completely draining the huge
                    DRIP gun, a hot plasma energy, swirling in colors, and
                    leaving a wake of nothingness behind it, flew straight into
                    the monster's chest.
                    Even as the energy was ripping the monster into some
                    unkown black nothingness, DethMan heard a strange
                    humming noise.
                    With a final flash, the monster disappeared, leaving a huge
                    warp-hole in it's wake..
                    Which undoubtedly led straight home.
                    Great! See, I told you the heroes always won.
                    The humming grew louder.
                    Then again, maybe they didn't always win.
                    Franticly, DethMan whipped his head to the side, just in
                    time to see what several other dimensional holes had
                    allowed to enter.
                    A computer.
                    It was stuck in the warp, trying to get in, but the small
                    holes were not big enough.
                    The computer itself was huge, a looming mass of wires and
                    strange shapes.. something that looked like what used to
                    be a monitor, in the ancient days, way back in about 1998;
                    a looong time ago.
                    That was one big thing that would scare any rabbit to
                    Swinging around to bring his gun to bear, he squeezed the
                    trigger, preparing for the huge burst of dimensional energy
                    that would throw him into the nearby wall.. and probably
                    give him that much more cuts and bruises.
                    DethMan almost cursed. But heroes never curse.
                    Especially the honorable ones.
                    Instead, he let under his breath, the famous...
                    It was empty!
                    The days upon days of hard ship and toil, blasting
                    constantly at the local hordes had finally wore it out.
                    The computer loomed closer, squeezing it's way into the
                    If it got inside, it would be able to control everything.. from
                    Carrotus, to torturing every rabbit under the sun.. in the
                    name of turtles no doubt.
                    His gun was out, but he still had the legendary knife.
                    After-all, it had gotten him this far; hadn't it?
                    The computer drew closer, slowly slipping into the time
                    There had to be a way to stop it.
                    He reached a hand into his backpack.. perhaps..

                    Of course.
                    A spare battery. A hero never goes around without a spare
                    power-pack, right?
                    Picking up his gun again, he almost threw the power pack
                    into the ammo slot.
                    The computer loomed closer, some kind of mutated
                    computer it looked like.. or something.
                    It had a strange.. "thing" sticking out into the field of
                    Strange? Nah.. that was nothing strange, any idiot could
                    tell that was..
                    A GUN!
                    Rolling to the right, he just missed the power blast, it's
                    energy blowing a hole in the ugly terrain.
                    He never much liked that stuff anyway.
                    Now it was his turn.
                    Even as the gun tried to track him, he drew his DRIP gun..
                    the ever powerfull gun, created by the players themselves.

                    The momentary sound distracted him long enough so that
                    even as he got back to his senses, and attempted to jump,
                    the energy from the gun slammed into his legs.
                    Encasing them in some kind of warp prison.
                    There he was, stuck in mid-air; by his legs.
                    He glanced towards the sound.
                    It was Merlin!
                    Maybe, just maybe...
                    Shaking himself, Merlin assessed the situation in seconds.
                    Bringing his personal gun up, he pointed it at the
                    His gun fired repeated blasts into the gun.
                    To no avail.
                    Well, it did distract the computer.
                    The computer swung it's gun around, sending another bolt
                    of energy through the air, causing more of that terrible
                    burnt-ozone smell.
                    Wait a second, the energy that had hit him was green..
                    This stuff was blue!
                    Even as he realized it, he knew it was too late for Merlin.
                    The swirl of crushing blue energy threw Merlin across the
                    room, seeming to engulf him.
                    It was evident that Merlin was dead.
                    The energy continued to throw Merlin across the room.
                    DethMan smiled, looking towards the computer he grinned,
                    then laughed at it.
                    "Bad aim."
                    Merlin was thrown straight into one of the dimensional
                    holes, dropping him into the swirling mists below.
                    Well, atleast it was better than him being fried to death,
                    probably some warphole to Carrotus.. or maybe something
                    Even if he did survive the blast, it would take weeks for
                    Merlin to get to a healing tower, more known as a Warrior's
                    Small, but effective.. they would put him in a bacta tank--
                    erm. Sorry, wrong story again.

                    That meant it was up to him.
                    Momentarily distracted, the computer seemed to be trying
                    to calculate where it went wrong.
                    It was long enough.
                    Bringing his infamous DRIP gun to bear once again, he
                    flipped the power level on reverse.
                    This would close the holes, and stop the computer from
                    Even as he squeezed the trigger, the computer's gun
                    locked onto him.
                    Sending another energy burst right past his own.
                    Even as the energy enclosed him, locking him into a
                    temporal warp prison, he could see his own gun's affect.
                    The reverse DRIP blast cut into the computer, closing huge
                    sections of the hole off.
                    But it wasn't enough.
                    The computer itself was able to hold just enough of the
                    hole open, so it didn't close entirely.
                    One week, and it would be able to open the hole enough to
                    start entering..
                    So far though, it couldn't even fit it's gun through.
                    DethMan glanced around.. things were getting blurry, he
                    was probably passing out..
                    Probably because right behind him was a huge warp hole,
                    large enough to suck just about anything through.
                    It either lead to Carrotus.. or something worse.
                    The warp hole pulled, trying to suck him in, while at the
                    same time the warp prison was trying to keep him in one
                    In one to two weeks, the computer would be through, and
                    be able to close all the warp holes, then probably torture
                    him to death.
                    So far though he was just going to pass out.
                    A lot of good that did him.
                    Even as blackness enclosed him, he thought about this
                    The pattern of warpholes and strange things seemed to fit
                    together somehow.. probably in one to two weeks, another
                    hole would open up, allowing other rabbits to enter.
                    Merlin was either dead or lying down someplace trying to
                    stay alive.. he couldn't come and help for a long time, even
                    if he wanted to.
                    Blackness enclosed him...

                    It was up to the other rabbits now, to come and save him,
                    to destroy the computer..

                    To enter the world of Warped.

                    The next part is where you guys play the levels of Warped
                    and beat it :-) Around when JCS is out.. :)

                    - DethMan
                    Jazz 2 City -=- By the J2C Team
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-04-98 4:42 PM
                    A large beast crawled up onto a steep hill. All the trees in
                    it's way where smashed into smlinters. The ground shook
                    and the hill cracked. Only one person could stop this
                    monsterous beast. And that person was...wait, no....he got
                    fried by the vicious Oleen monstar. I guess Armageddon
                    will do.
                    The beast saw the tiny black rabbit aproach from behind a
                    rock. The beast grabbed a bundle of trees and hurled them
                    at Armageddon. Is this the end? Of coarse not, because
                    the monstar is so huge he would have so much friction and
                    gravity pull that he couldn't swing his arm fast enough to
                    throw. "Whew." Thinks Armageddon. "I guess paying
                    attention in science class really does help."
                    Armageddon pulls out his gun. A long slender red
                    375.47-T31-WD40. A wepon only made on Carrotus. Made
                    by a company called Playschool.
                    He packs the gun with silly string and fires at the beast. It
                    is instanly frozen in a bright green glob. Armageddon pulls
                    out his Zippu lighter (childproof, of corse) and lights the
                    artificial blob. It melts on top of the beast like a
                    "HAH!" Cries Armageddon. "That was easy."
                    Suddenly the chared blob shakes. Armageddon is thrown
                    to the ground. The immence pile of melted silly string
                    cracks in half. The beast climbs out of it and roars a mighty
                    roar. It looks down at Armageddon and breaths in.
                    Armageddon flies off the ground and into the air. The beast
                    stops and Armageddon is thrown to the ground once more.

                    Amrageddon frantically reaches in his pack for some
                    ammo. All he has is some cheesy Mad magazines and
                    Martha Steward book. Stenciling Your Driveway. Oh, what
                    fate will befall upon our hero. Let's hope it's a painless one.

                    The beast gasps and breaths his Ultra-violet breath at
                    Armageddon. Luckily our hero always wears SPF 3,000
                    suntan lotion and after the almost fatal breathings is
                    fashonabally taned.
                    The beast reaches down and grabs Armageddon. "I gotta
                    learn to get faster reflexes!" He thinks to himself. Oh what
                    fate will befall him? Tune in to this string again to find out!
                    2 B CONTINUED..........
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-04-98 5:14 PM
                    and theres 30 that play under yours merlin ok
                    heres what yave been waitin for the next part

                    Jazz said "yeah"
                    spaz pulls out his little gun
                    Spas said "lets kick some booty!
                    jazz and spaz put on thier blue headbands and walk into
                    the grounds where the imposter wis playing
                    jazz ans spaz says "we challange you to a game"
                    (i)spaz said "ok let me get devan and my brother!"
                    ( (i) means its the imposter talking )
                    Jazz ans spaz said *gasp* "devan!"
                    suddenly a worm hole sucks jazz nad spaz into the worm
                    spaz made a fine landing but jazz landend on some spikes
                    spaz said "jazz you alright???"
                    jazz said "no not really"
                    end of part 2
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-04-98 5:28 PM
                    Btw, please don't post a single story on both threads.

                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-04-98 5:53 PM
                    You wouldn't believe how many imposters have played
                    under the name of Jazz. I once played a game with four
                    Jazzs. And they all acted like they where Jazz. It was really
                    lame. And then a Spaz joined and they all started fighting.
                    (Verbally.) It was really stupid so I left.
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-04-98 7:19 PM
                    The beast holds Armageddon up to his slimy head. He
                    opens up his mouth. Armageddon can see peices of other
                    rabbit victems on impailed on the sharp yellow teeth.
                    "Don't eat me!" Cries Armageddon. "Um.....I'm fattining.
                    Like crisco!"
                    "RABBITS NO CRISCO!" Roars the beast. Apparently he's
                    smarter than a sea sponge. "RABBITS MADE OF OLEAN!
                    100% NO FAT!"
                    "This is hopeless." Thinks Armageddon. "It's
                    like......some..........really hopeless thingy or something.
                    The beast opens up his mouth and shoves Armageddon it.
                    "Only one thing can save me now!" Says Armageddon
                    heroically. " blaster!"
                    Amageddon pulls out his blaster and blasts the beast's
                    gooey pink toungle. (sp)
                    "OUUUUUUUUCCCCHHHHHHH!!!" Screams the beast. He
                    spits out Armageddon who falls 50 feet from his mouth.
                    "Ouch. No-ot a-a-a g-g-goo-oo-d p-p-plaaaaannnn."
                    Armageddon wipes some saliva off his head.
                    The beast stomps the ground. Armageddon flies three feet
                    in the air. The beast is mad.
                    He rips a boulder out of the earth. He drops it above
                    Armageddon. Luckily the rock is lagged and Armageddon
                    gets out safely.
                    Armageddon pulls out his blaster and puts in a cardrige. He
                    fires and nothing happens.
                    "Well thats the last time I carry Game-boy cartriges
                    around with me." He scolds to himself.
                    Armageddon rips out the cartarige and puts in another
                    one. This one is labeled: "stued tomatoes." He fires at the
                    beast who is immediatly scolded by boiling tomatoe soup.
                    "Help Jazz!" Cries a kitten tied to a tree behind the beast.
                    Armageddon shoots the beast some more then unties the
                    little rabbit.
                    "You're not Jazz!" He says. "My momma said I can only be
                    saved by real heroes!"
                    "Go away stranger!"
                    The beast picks up Armageddon a second time.
                    Armageddon reaches at his gun but drops it. He tries to get
                    his pack but it falls. The only thing Armageddon can reach
                    now is the Mad magazine.
                    Is it the end of our hero? Find out in the last exiting topic
                    on this string by Gizmo.
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-05-98 1:41 PM
                    The Saga of Buster - Part 3

                    As Buster fell, he thought about all that had happend.
                    Suddenly, it all made sense.

                    "That green thing must have been some kind of portal! It
                    could have sucked in all of the bunnies from the Tavern!"

                    And now it had him. Where was it taking him? What would
                    he find at the end of this tunnel? He was just about to

                    With a loud thump, he hit the ground. At least, he thought
                    this stuff was ground.

                    "Where am I?" Buster wondered aloud.

                    It was dark, and hard to see. What he could see didn't look
                    so good. Twisted trees covered in slimy moss, pits and
                    cliffs, red eyes staring at him through the trees...wait a

                    He brought his blaster to bare, hoping the warp hole
                    haden't shorted it out, and prepared to fire.

                    The eyes dissapeared.

                    "Well, now what?" Buster had gotten into the habit of
                    talking to himself ever since he woke up alone in the
                    Carrotus Warzone.

                    Something began to growl rather menicingly. The hair on
                    the back of his neck stood strait up, and he wondered
                    where the sound was coming from...the clump of trees ten
                    feet behind him? Behind the large boulder to his right?
                    From within the pit of to his left? From all three...?

                    Taking a chance, he ran for the pit, hoping that, even if it
                    came from there, he would be able to see what it was
                    before it killed him.

                    As he walked up, he realised, with great relief, that the
                    growling was not coming from the pit.

                    He steped to the edge and looked down.


                    Lots of them, lining the sides.

                    Nice way to get killed.

                    Buster noticed a small ledge on the other side of the pit.
                    He could just make it if he jumped...

                    He crouched down, preparing to leap across the pit, and
                    looked once more at the spikes below...

                    "Nah, that's probably not a good idea." Buster said, and
                    walked away.

                    And he wondered...

                    "What will I find here? What lurks within this vast, evil
                    place? Where are the other bunnies from the tavern?"

                    Only time will tell.

                    End of Part 3,
                    End of Story.


                    Props to Dethman, who gave me the opening to end my
                    story...for now :o)

                    I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
                    Philippians 4:13
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-05-98 2:23 PM
                    hehe, cool story..
                    Kind've like the Star Wars books, everything is linked
                    together, in some strange way :-)

                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-05-98 7:51 PM

                    There's no telling how long Onag has been floating. When
                    he approached the pale green light, he was sucked into
                    some sort of weird dimention. For some reason, he felt
                    weightless. His gun, which was no longer at his side, must
                    have fallen deep into the nothingness when he entered the

                    Onag didn't mind the state he was currently in. Whether it
                    was the dimention, or the fact that he was slowly dying, he
                    couldn't feel any pain in his leg. It was almost as if he was

                    Finaly, he hit something. The pain in his leg was quickly
                    restored when he reached what appeared much like the
                    place he had just came, but didn't quite feel the same. He
                    was dying. Perhaps it was better that way. Still, he
                    continued on, moving farther into the darkness.

                    Ahead, he saw a green light. From the glowing, he could
                    tell he was in some sort of cave. That must be why it was
                    so dark. Maybe the light would lead him out into the real
                    world...whatever world this was.

                    He approached the light, taking caution not to go to near.
                    The last thing he needed was to be sucked back into
                    another warphole.

                    As he neared the portal, he noticed he was at the bottom
                    of what seemed to be a large spike-lined pit. Carefully, so
                    as not to rip any more of his limbs to pieces, he slowly
                    began to climb up the spiked wall of the hole.

                    He found himself moving too quickly, and slashed his arm
                    across one of the larger spikes. With only one arm and one
                    leg, he had a difficult time keeping his balance. He slipped,
                    gouging a spike into his side. As he fell, he could feel his
                    life drifting away. He landed right on a large spike jutting
                    out of the bottom of the hole.

                    A large green glow enclosed him. He could no longer feel
                    the pain in his body. He felt weightless as he floated in
                    what seemed to be a sea of nothingness.

  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-05-98 10:02 PM
                    What? You put me in the hospital!
                    Aw cripes :>
                    Well Dethman, still waiting to play with/against you....

                    Jazz- I wasn't aware that I had even ONE imposter, let
                    alone thirty...
                    It seems you took my comment the wrong way.
                    I'm trying to help you see why you shouldn't
                    play under the name Jazz. Your choice though.
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-06-98 1:03 PM
                    Yeah, not to mention the fact that none of those "Jazz"'s
                    are any good.

                    Now, if I was to play under the name "Jazz", they'd all just
                    have to get on their knee's and bow down :o)


                    I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
                    Philippians 4:13
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-06-98 1:24 PM
                    You know, it's a shame to let these storys just dissapear.
                    They shoul be posted up on the J2C or something...hehe,
                    maybe I'll put them up on my page. I really need
                    something up there :o)

                    You know, if Epic has, had, or will have any ideas about
                    publishing Jazz Jackrabbit books (hey, Unreal's not even
                    out yet, and it's got books!) they should let us do the
                    writing. Sure, we'd have to spend more time on plot,
                    development, spelling, and grammer, but so what? It'd be
                    cool, and I'm sure we, having been following Jazz for a long
                    time, could write better stories than some big-name
                    publishing company that would look at a backdrop and tear
                    it apart.

                    Hey, I could write a good JJ story right now. If nobody
                    belives me, I will :o)


                    I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
                    Philippians 4:13
  The Lion
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-06-98 1:50 PM

                    Not a bad idea.But i was thinking about a
                    Tv-show.Like Earthworm Jim.

                    (Ps dont mess me up with any other lion im known as PuMa
                    in network games)
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-06-98 2:39 PM
                    Great idea Pyro, I'll get to work on getting the stories
                    together for J2C :)

                    Ah Lion, you mean like Sam & Max show eh?
                    In my oppinion, it wouldn't be a good idea.. I think the
                    books would express JJ2 a LOT better, and allow the
                    players to do something, and shape the universe, rather
                    than just some boring monotanous(sp) tv show that
                    basicly is the same every day.

                    Besides, I don't have time to really watch TV, and with
                    books I can atleast read them in sections when I want. TV
                    is a bad idea in my oppinion :)

                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-06-98 2:44 PM
                    Oh, btw Merlin,

                    Yeah, he is right there are a LOT of people using the name
                    Merlin on the Internet, but I don't know of anyone else
                    playing -JJ2- that uses the name Merlin, so it's unique :)

                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-06-98 3:54 PM
                    wha?!? i went into a 32 p game (had to be a cable modem)
                    30 merlins and me and they were all fighting useing magic
                    words (yeah right!) and they were swearing hehe that was

                    how about a tv show a computer piece of the show and a
                    book? or maybe a bunch of episodes on 1 cd!
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-06-98 4:26 PM
                    Well, it's bound to happen that someone will
                    start playing under my name sooner or later, so if you see
                    someone in Chemical Warfare who is doing really crappy
                    and doesn't know where
                    to take the flag because he just got the patch today, and
                    the stupid bug keeps screwing him up, and he isn't playing
                    at all like the Merlin you have come to know and fear (:>)-
                    well then it isn't me! It's an imposter, yeah, that's it!
                    BTW- I love what the patch does in Diamondus Warzone,
                    no more lag and all, but I HATED chemical warfare! Every
                    time it looped in there I had to leave because I would get
                    the flag and then it would say that my team had both
                    flags- but LO AND BEHOLD! When I'd get to base it wouldn't
                    be there! And then my arrow wouldn't work right. Spoooky
                    Oh yeah, all that would happen while "Charlie
                    (or whoever) captured the flag" went pleasantly scrolling
                    across my screen 5000 times. I would rather have lag than
                    that any day. Anyway, if this keeps up I might disappear
                    from the Jazz2 scene for awhile...
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-06-98 4:32 PM
                    Oh yeah, and I think that saving those stories for
                    something would be cool, but how bout THIS-
                    We could incorporate some stories we write into a Jazz
                    newspaper... i know that there is already that carrotus
                    one, and a newsletter,
                    but I don't know much about them, specially since I only
                    got the newsletter once.

                    The stuff in the first thread will be gone in a couple of
  The Lion
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-07-98 9:16 AM

                    Tv-show,book? I dont really care.Just
                    make something else than games , because u have to wait
                    them 2 years.

                    (Ps I mean that u have to wait Jazz GAMES)
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-07-98 1:54 PM
                    Looks like I was a little hard on chemical warfare. Today I
                    played in it without the bug messing me up, and it was alot
                    more fun.
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-08-98 5:03 PM
                    The beast pulls Armageddon up to his slobbery mouth.
                    Armageddon can almost taste what the bease just ate.
                    Obviously it was someone who wore too much colone.
                    Armageddon starts to sweat. His headband is compleatly
                    soaked. How will he defeat the monstar with only a large
                    paper-back book?
                    WAIT A MINUTE! That's it! Armageddon rips out a page of
                    the magazine and scribbles something on it. He folds a
                    perfect paper airplane. He launches in out of the monitor.
                    It hits Gizmo who is playing Jazz Jackrabbit 2.
                    Gizmo folds open the paper and reads what it says:
                    "THAT'S IT!" Cries Gizmo. He frantically types in JJGOD.
                    Armageddon victoriously wins another battle. (Let's
                    pretend he didn't use cheat codes.)

                    Well, that's my story. It sucks. But that's only because I'm
                    focusing my attention and time to something greater.
                    Something funner. Something BIG!!
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-08-98 5:03 PM
                    The beast pulls Armageddon up to his slobbery mouth.
                    Armageddon can almost taste what the bease just ate.
                    Obviously it was someone who wore too much colone.
                    Armageddon starts to sweat. His headband is compleatly
                    soaked. How will he defeat the monstar with only a large
                    paper-back book?
                    WAIT A MINUTE! That's it! Armageddon rips out a page of
                    the magazine and scribbles something on it. He folds a
                    perfect paper airplane. He launches in out of the monitor.
                    It hits Gizmo who is playing Jazz Jackrabbit 2.
                    Gizmo folds open the paper and reads what it says:
                    "THAT'S IT!" Cries Gizmo. He frantically types in JJGOD.
                    Armageddon victoriously wins another battle. (Let's
                    pretend he didn't use cheat codes.)

                    Well, that's my story. It sucks. But that's only because I'm
                    focusing my attention and time to something greater.
                    Something funner. Something BIG!!
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-09-98 11:40 AM
                    That's a funny story, I was wondering how he'd do it with a
                    mag :)

                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-09-98 2:52 PM
                    Charlie ran. He knew not where he was going, or why, but
                    knew that he must keep running. Merlin was comming.
                    Charlie's sweat soaked fingers cluched his prise, the red
                    flag, in a deathgrip. Merlin wanted it, needed it, to score

                    Charlie thoughtlessly navagated the web of springs and
                    platforms, staying always on the upper levels.

                    "Kill Charlie!" some fool shouted out. Yes, a fool, putzing
                    around, knowing that no matter how bad he was doing,
                    Merlin would always be their to save his team from

                    Charlie glanced up, noticing that Merlin had killed a few
                    more brave bunnies of his team. Thank you, he whispered
                    to himself, knowing he had no time to type.

                    He could remember, when he had been on Merlins team.
                    They had always won. But Charlie had felt board, knowing
                    that Merlin didn't really need him. Well, he thought, this is
                    exciting enough. He looked in his belt. 12 coins, not
                    enough to buy him sanctuary.

                    Then, he felt all the hairs on his neck rise.

                    Merlin was comming.

                    Charlie whipped out his rocket luancher, spun around, and

                    Too late.

                    Their was only a blur as Merlin killed him, cleanly and
                    efficintly, and then moved to the red flagpost to score.

                    Charlie, on his next life, moved their as well, but it was to

                    Red team scored a point, the screen informed him. Oh well.
                    That didn't mean he would stop. As he grabbed the flag
                    again, he heard Merlin laugh with glee.

                    Charlie ran.

                    Merlin was comming.

                    The above message was edited 05/9/98
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-09-98 6:10 PM
                    HEHEHEHEHEH.... . ohh...
                    Thanks Charlie, now I know how my prey feels
                    It's always good to have you as a teammate when I can,
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-09-98 11:10 PM
                    now contuineing where we left off jazz was fixing to die
                    spaz screamed "JAZZ ARE YOU OK?!?!?!?!?????"
                    jazz said "huh wha im bleeding and why am i sleeping on a
                    bed of nails?
                    a black hole opened up
                    jazz said "where now?"
                    spaz said "Weeeeeeeeee!"
                    end of part 3
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-10-98 4:53 PM
                    Sounds like the Readers Digest version of Dethman's story.


                    I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
                    Philippians 4:13
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-10-98 5:16 PM
                    isnt it nice how everythong is connected is some way?
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-10-98 5:25 PM
                    Hey Jazz, if ya don't mind me asking, how old are you?
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-10-98 6:02 PM
                    thats none of your business :)
                    its private
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-10-98 8:07 PM
                    I'm 17. See, it's not so hard :>
  The Lion
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-11-98 12:14 PM

                    I think this is the place where u talk about JAZZ 2 (Not

                    (Ps Im Bored to play Jazz internet alone)

  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-12-98 7:38 PM
                    Armageddon was looking for a place to have a fun,
                    bloodthirsty CTF match. He looked at a tall sign dividing up
                    the path to each of the capture the flag games:

                    Epic 3on3
                    FOOZY'S CTF GAME
                    GET VERSION 1.2 NOW
                    Warren Brothers' Game

                    WHAT!?!? The Warren Brothers' where hosting thier own
                    game, probably to plan how they would try to take over
                    the Epic Servers.

                    "I must take matters into my own hands." Thought
                    Armageddon. "If these tyrants have their diobolical ways
                    they shall destroy everything!"

                    He walked down the road to the Warren Brothers' game.
                    Armageddon accidentily walked into a tall, strong rabbit.

                    "What's the password?" He growled.

                    "Uh...uh....l?" Armageddon misspelled to the tal,l strong

                    "Uh oh. I forgot what it was."

                    "It's Armageddon Rules"

                    "Oh. What's the password?"

                    "Armageddon Rules?"

                    "'Kay. You can pass."

                    Armageddon chuckled and strutted into the game. He was
                    warped to Chemical Warfare.

                    "Ha! Civilazation Sux!!" Cried Warren2.

                    "Uh oh." Said Warren3.

                    "Good day, you feinds." Said Armageddon.

                    "It's him!" Said Warren2.

                    "We challenge you to a remach." Said Warren1.

                    "You're on." Armageddon said.

                    The game begun. Armageddon race to red base and
                    grabbed the flag. Warren3 came up into the base.

                    "Try to get out now!" He said.

                    Armageddon leaped into the wall and out the other end.

                    "CHEATERS!!!" Yelled Warren3.

                    Armageddon raced across the feild. He knew just what to
                    do and where to go. He Ran through a tunnel and picked up
                    some dynamite. At the other end was Warren2. He was
                    pointing a blaster full of gold smart missles at
                    Armageddon's head.

                    "Give me the flag." Warren2 said. "Give it too me!!!"

                    " you are.....hehe."

                    Armageddon reached behind his back for the flag which
                    was partially stuffed into the back pack. Armageddon
                    reached for his spare mace which he always carried

                    "It's....uh stuck."

                    "Hurry up. I ain't got no day."

                    Armageddon grabbed on to the handl. He ripped it out of
                    his back pack. It was a Pez machine.

                    "I'm soooo stupid." He thought to himself.

                    "You have a Pez machine?!?!?" Yipped Warren2. "Does it
                    have any candy?!?!"

                    "Why, yes it does. You may have it."

                    "Really?!?! Thank you! Thank you!!!"

                    Armageddon handed Warren2 the Pez machine. Warren
                    made talk to himself. Then he popped a few Pez candies.
                    Armageddon lifted his gun and blasted Warren2 out of the


                    Meanwhile, Warren3 was collecting ammo to blast
                    Armageddon as soon as he saw him. Warren3 was very
                    bloodthirsty after his last sighting with Armageddon and
                    did not want to let another oppertunity like that slip by.

                    Armageddon leaped up to a large pinkish colored ball. In it
                    was a shiny gold coin. He dropped some dynamite and the
                    coin spun up into his hands.

                    "Hehe." He chuckled to himself. He was very near blue
                    base and soon the game would be won.

                    "Not so fast!" Cried a shrill, loud voice. "I'm not gonna let
                    you win this time." The voice was Warren1. He was mad
                    from his last defeat and the lost of Warren2. This time
                    Armageddon wouldn't have such an easy time. Warren1
                    was holding three guns, all stuffed with ice cubes.

                    Warren froze Armageddon. His ice-covered body was now
                    immoble until the ice melted. This was Warren1's chance
                    to grab the red flag, then get the blue flag and return to red
                    base victoriously.

                    Warren1 approached Armageddon. He grabbed ahold of
                    the also frozen flag and tried to get it out. It was frozen to
                    Armageddon's back pack. The back pack was frozen to

                    "Well. It looks like I'll just have to kick Armageddon into
                    splinters. Well, it's been a fair mach! Hehe he. BlahHA HA
                    HA HA HA!" Laughed Warren1.

                    "I've got to do something." Thought Armageddon. Even
                    though he was covered in a frozen sheet of ice, he could
                    still think and slightly move his tired joints.

                    "That's it!" He thought. He slowly moved his arm back. His
                    fur ached from being stuck to the ice. He changed his gun
                    from pea-shooter to flame-thrower. He put his finger back
                    on the trigger.

                    Warren1 ducked down and kicked at Armageddon in the
                    ice. Suddenly part of it turned bright red. Warren1 had no
                    control, for he was flying right at it! The ice turned to water
                    around the red glow and fire shot out of it. Warren1's foot
                    flew right into the fire which burned up his leg and
                    incinerated the rest of his body. Armageddon shivered as
                    he watched Warren1's ashes blow away.


                    "Well, well. Look's like you got my bro's."

                    Armageddon spun around.


                    The voice was coming from Warren3. He quickly dashed
                    away. Armageddon ran after him, grabbing missles on the

                    Warren3 went to the lower right corner of the CTF area. He
                    ducked down and kicked Armageddon. Armageddon
                    released a load of missles on Warren3 who leaped up on a
                    spring and flew up. Armageddon leaped up after him. As
                    soon as he flew up high enought to see Warren3, he was
                    kicked into a wall. Armageddon fell on the floor and
                    couldn't get up. The last kick was below the belt.

                    Warren leaped up and did a buttstomp down at
                    Armageddon who was lying on the floor.

                    "I gotta think fast!" He thought.

                    Armageddon rolled over and left a chunk of dynamite on
                    the floor where he was. Warren3 stomped on it and
                    exloded. His blackened skull fell down at Armageddon's
                    feet. Another victorious defeat.


                    Outside Warren Brother's Game, Warren4 was trying to get
                    in the game.

                    "The password is WD40!" He said.

                    "No, it's Armageddon Rules."

                    "Who told you that?"

                    "Warren1 did!"

                    "Are you sure?"

                    "Yup. Then I forgot it but this little black rabbit reminded

                    "You idiot!"

                    "That's Armageddon! Our foe!"

                    "Nope. You no enter."

                    Warren4 release a round of megaman bullets at the guard
                    who refleacted them off his with his hands. He then picked
                    up Warren4 and crushed him with his foot.


                    "Warren4 has been roasted" Displayed on the screen.

                    "Wow. I didn't even know he joined this game!" Thought

                    Armageddon raced up a spring board and into blue base.
                    The game was won. All the Warren brothers had been
                    roasted. It was a victorious day for Armageddon.
  The Lion
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-13-98 3:37 AM

                    Heheheheheheh.........Great story Gizmo
                    =} =} =} `_´

                    (Ps Chinese face `_´ hehehehe)

                    ~Sick PuMa~

                    The above message was edited 05/13/98
  The Lion
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-13-98 6:05 AM

                    Puma: -Ok,do you have any WATER im thirsty, .Bartender:
                    -WATER? This is a BAR, dont you know
                    that.Puma:-Nevermind.Puma:-Ok here's the story:I was
                    teached to shoot,fight and run by my Brother because my
                    parents were killed by Devan Shell.-One day my brother
                    takes me with him to a real war.We went to a server called
                    : Blood.Me and my brother end up in the red team.Our
                    score was 0 of 3 and blue 1 of 3.One guy of the Blue team
                    got the flag.My brother named Bob said to me to get to the
                    blue base and. I took the flag and notice that
                    Bob (my brother) roasted the guy from the other base who
                    got the flag .I run and get the blue flag to our base.Then
                    some one called Windows freak enters and ends up to the
                    blue team.-HA,another guy for u to beat big bro!I said ,
                    and Bob Smiles
                    I see how my brother roast's MANY blues so easily with her
                    pea shooter. our team scores again.
                    Then Merlin enters.-Theres ANOTHER guy for u to beat! I
                    say again ,but now My bro isnt smiling and He says to
                    me:U better get out of here.-Why!This is fun!Then merlin
                    comes and i see only BIG explosion and then
                    darkness.Couple of hours later i wake up and notice that i
                    passed out.My body is covered with Blood,
                    But its not mine.I start thinking where did my bro go and
                    why he didnt help me. Then
                    I see My brothers body Right in front of me
                    body is covered with my brothers BLOOD!!!!! I open his
                    back pack to get first aid and I shaw a green gun -This isnt
                    her gun!He owns a blue one so i take the gun and put my
                    hand on My Big Brother.He isnt breathing!HE'S DEAD!!!My
                    feat is bleading,But still i can walk.So i leave the
                    battleground.Then Puma leaves the tavern.

                    (Ps Here is a new face ($_$) and here is another (¤_¤)
                    .Sorry if there is some writing errors)

                    ^Smiley PuMa^
                    =) ('_')

                    The above message was edited 05/13/98
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-13-98 1:52 PM
                    "The public is getting mad!" Craig growled.
                    "What the blank to I care?!" Sweeny screamed.
                    A typical argument at Epic.
                    Or atleast, what appeared to be Epic.
                    Jon glared at the two idiots, stupid amateurs given too
                    much power.
                    "Shut up you two, or go jump off a cliff."
                    He continued, "We don't have adequate defenses if we're
                    attacked. They could raid us at any moment and steal THE
                    Where was he.. was this all a bad dream?
                    DethMan started to get up, but thought better of it as Tim
                    slammed his fist on the conference table; threatening to
                    tear it apart.
                    "Get more defenses then! We're allied with Gates, ask him
                    for money. All I care about is keeping the game from
                    everyone else."
                    "But Mr. President, sir, Gates will not-"
                    "Shut up," Jon growled, "Gates'll do what we ask. And you
                    know it."
                    There was a murmur of agreement around the table.
                    Tim Sweeny grinned, an evil, twisted smile. "Then it's
                    settled." He looked across the table.
                    "You're it. Get in my 747 and get to Gates. Ask him for
                    what we need, force if necessary. The 747 should blend in
                    well enough with the local air traffic."
                    Dean almost collapsed, "But sir, next month I-"
                    "Shut up. I don't care, and you know it. Get on it."
                    "Your job is to try and keep the public down as long as
                    necessary. Tell them their mothers wear army boots, I
                    don't care. Just keep them under control until we get to
                    "I want you to transfer the gold-cd to the special 4 foot
                    thick steel vault."
                    Robert smiled "They'll never get it." He laughed, and evil
                    , almost empty sound.
                    Void of everything but a universal hate; which seemed to
                    be the natural feeling around here.
                    DethMan almost screamed, but he was under a nearby
                    computer desk; he couldn't give himself away.
                    For years people had been waiting to play the game, the
                    game he was a part of. How could all those great Players
                    have been fooled?
                    Programmers were even greater than Players very
                    powerful, they were able to control more than just how a
                    rabbit runs.
                    Was this really Epic?
                    The last thing he remembered, he was passing out in the
                    dimensional time-warp.
                    How could he be here, in the great "Real World" universe?
                    Why wasn't he back in Jackrabbit Universe? Or atleast the
                    offshoot called warped..
                    Why in the world would Epic be keeping "The Game" from
                    DethMan pulled out his big gun, a huge older molder, but
                    still one of the best guns around.
                    The Fat Gun.
                    Hmm, it was a normal gun now, not that weird dimensional
                    ripper (DRIP).
                    Where was he really?
                    Only one way to find out.
                    Go figure.

                    - DethMan

                    Jazz 2 City -=- By the J2C Team
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-14-98 8:39 AM
                    HEhehehe... this oughta be good...
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-14-98 9:09 PM
                    As we join our hero, Armageddon, he is heroically
                    defeating.....oh wait, he's just buying a new TV set.
                    "I want one that's colored." He says to the sales clerk.
                    "And a remote. Two remotes. I'm always loosin' the first
                    "May I suggest this one?" Suggests the sales clerk. "This is
                    on sale."
                    "But why?"
                    "Oh....uh....for thursday. Happy Thursday!"
                    "Wow! Happy Thursday! I'll take it!"
                    "Excellent. }:D)
                    But what Armageddon doesn't know is that the TV is
                    infested with evil spirits. What fate will befall our beloved
                    hero? What agonizing painful scrutinizing diobolical fate
                    will happen to him? Read on, dear reader. If you dare! Bwa
                    ha ha ha ha!

                    Armgeddon, with a mighty burst of energy, replaces the
                    old TV with the new one.
                    "This new TV is much better!"
                    Armgeddon flips it.
                    "What's this?!?!" He cries. "The screen is all wobbly."
                    At that moment our hero is sucked into the screen! What
                    will become of our beloved hero? What painfull
                    supernatural diobolical mishaps will befall upon him? To be
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-17-98 11:37 AM
                    "This is operation EGGOPR (Epic Gold Glob Of Programming
                    Raid) leader, we are in position and ready to move in."
                    "Roger that EGGOPR Leader, you are clear to go ahead.
                    Lagger Von Trusch smiled.. it was finally time to wipe up
                    some dirty Epic guys, trash the place, and... get the gold
                    "Ok boys," Lagger yelled, "Let's move!"
                    With a chorus of yells, they charged down the hill toward
                    the Epic entrance.

                    The conferance room was empty.. had been for hours.
                    So why didn't he get up?
                    DethMan started to, but then noticed yet a third time, the
                    security camera on the wall, pointing at him.

                    But there was something else.. a deep rumble in the
                    Great, just what he needed, some Godzilla banging around
                    buildings or something.
                    But that didn't sound like a wimp of a lizard..
                    It was more like..
                    Epic was under attack!

                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-17-98 7:04 PM
                    Hehe, this is good :o)


                    I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
                    Philippians 4:13
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-18-98 4:54 AM
                    I ran as fast as possible. "Kill Karen!" they all shouted. I
                    zoomed across the Diamondos landscape. I couldn't fight
                    them all. I needed a team mate. Fast!
                    BANG! BANG!
                    They had caught up! I was alone and I was carrying the
                    blue flag. the reds had my flag. There were too many to
                    BANG! SIZZLE!
                    I tripped, dead, dropping the flag. I was resurrected by
                    unknown powers and noticed I was back on Diamondos. I
                    saw my toasted shoe and gun and smoke. Me.
                    Then, the blue guys ran with both mine and their flag back
                    to the blue base!
                    The flags were brought into the base. They had captured all
                    my flags! They had won our race! ARGH!

                    Isn't it stupid how all my warstories end with me losing?
                    Heh heh. I don't know why I bother. :) Interesting stories
                    on this topic. And I think there should be Jazz comic books.

                    *Parachute for sale: Only used once, never opened, small
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 05-27-98 10:49 AM
                    If Epic was under attack before their so-called
                    reinforcements came, that meant the commandos might
                    That meant the gold CD would be shipped, snatched from
                    the evil Epic hands.
                    And that meant it was time to go and help those guys get
                    the CD.
                    DethMan smiled; this would be fun.
                    Quietly slipping out from under the table, he walked just
                    beyond the security camera's view to the door.
                    Oh well.
                    The door nob melted into a steaming glob on the floor.
                    DethMan might not be Spaz, but he could still give one
                    blank of a kick.
                    Swinging his foot through the air, it contacted the burning
                    door with enormous destructive force.
                    Even Spaz would've envied him :-)
                    Aside from the burning hole near the doornob, and the
                    gaping splintered bullet like hole (much larger of course),
                    the door seemed fairly intact!
                    Yeah right.
                    With a loud creaking noise, it finally gave away and
                    crashed into the floor.
                    Enough noise to awaken 20 security guards.
                    Stepping through the destruction, DethMan assessed the
                    Hmm, a couple of unconsious Epic security squads on the
                    floor, and generally a lot of seared walls leading down the
                    It was really hard to tell where they went.
                    Putting on a burst of speed, DethMan raced down what was
                    left of the hallway.


                    "Sir, the commando team has penetrated our outer
                    defense ring."
                    "No matter," Tim smiled
                    Most people didn't know he was still secretly running Epic.
                    Some people are just so thick
                    Sweeny continued, "With our elite teams near the cd, they
                    won't have a chance."
                    "There was something else I thought you should know
                    "Well, there have been strange reports of a black bunny
                    running around, with flaming orange wrist bands."
                    Tim frowned deeply.
                    "DethMan " he growled.
                    He was one of the most feared of rabbit warriors. Even
                    matching Merlin's incredible strength and speed.
                    He was the last Rabbit he needed around here.
                    How could he have gotten out of his Warped trap?
                    Well, he was here now. And if he got out of Warped, that
                    meant he was more dangerous than he thought.
                    "Send squads 2 through 5 of our elite troops to meet him."
                    Tim smiled, and evil smile; fitting him perfectly.
                    "It's time we got rid of that brat once and for all."


                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 06-02-98 10:27 AM
                    SLAM! (the third first-story boring usage of this sound)
                    With a sickening sound of crunching bones, DethMan
                    crashed into the nearby concrete wall... the huge brute
                    coming towards him to do it again.
                    Well, this was great.. the self-made legend (that everyone
                    believes, hilarious huh?:) DethMan, killed by a mere
                    security guard?
                    Thump, Thump.
                    The ground shook as the huge ugly guard stomped towards
                    Ok, maybe an elite security guard. But this was still
                    ridiculous, after all the things he'd been through.
                    The brute raised his huge arm, he fist preparing to crush
                    DethMan.. our, uh.. hero?
                    Naturally, being the person he was, he activated his
                    magnetic warp possessor inside his hand.
                    The big guard looked down towards the source of the
                    noise: DethMan's gun was in his hand.
                    And there was a strange glow coming from the tip.


                    Merlin stomped into the tavern full of people, with his
                    greatest warriors right behind him.

                    The sight of a Legend, with elite warriors beside him, was
                    enough to make half the customers accidentally spew their
                    carrot juice.
                    "I am Merlin." he smiled.
                    His small elite army stood on either side of him, at a
                    military like stance, among of which were the greatest:
                    Alex of the Seven Seas...

                    These four stood beside Mighty Merlin.
                    There was a fourth among his best warriors.

                    The entire Tavern looked towards him.
                    He stepped towards the bartender..
                    the bartender quickly found something useless to do,
                    anything in order to keep him occupied.
                    There was a cup of the strongest stuff in the house, at an
                    empty seat.
                    Merlin grinned, just like 'em to stare at his back, but look
                    away when he viewed the crowd.
                    But nevermind all of that, he wasn't here for publicity.
                    He slammed down the cup of Electro Juice.
                    "Where is DethMan!" he yelled, his deep voice rumbling
                    through the cavern.
                    One useless civ started to get up, but thought better of it,
                    and sat back down.
                    Too late, Merlin had a quick eye.
                    Walking towards the table, his warriors following him, he
                    looked straight into the civ's eyes.
                    "You were about to say?"
                    Scared half to death, the civilian tried to talk.
                    "Uh, well.. uhm.. he was here two weeks ago!"
                    "Hmm..." Merlin rumbled... "That was before Warped."
                    Turning from the civilian, he faced the crowd.
                    "I have all I need here."
                    Turning to his fellow warriors, he rumbled a little bit
                    quieter; "We shall make our way to the last warphole
                    known. Inside the dangerous caves of mount Tla'k;
                    perhaps it will change course, and send us to DethMan.."
                    With that, the legendary group stomped out of the tavern,
                    leaving everyone staring at the door.

                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 06-02-98 12:01 PM
                    That's not true- here's how it really happened:
                    Beast, Onag, Koopa and I were all sitting at the tavern
                    eating tea and biscuits. The subject of Dethman's
                    dissapearance came up:
                    Onag:" I say Merlin old boy, what ever happened to that
                    rascal Dethman?"
                    Merlin: "Off galavanting around somewhere, and stirring up
                    mischief no doubt"
                    Beast: "Well I for one think it is simply incorrigable"
                    Koopa: "Yes, always waving that gun around and playing
                    the uncivilized barbarian. I pity
                    his poor mother-"
                    WAIT, wait, my mistake, that's not at all how
                    it happened. You were right, Dethman. My old memory
                    must be playing tricks on me...
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 06-02-98 5:55 PM
                    Heheh, this story is great.
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 06-02-98 11:26 PM
                    I would like a part for this story!

                    As Deth Man defeated the last scum he ever saw, a large
                    worm hole opened from behind
                    Deth Man never curses and he said, ``Aww shoot not
                    again!`` As the hole sucked him in all of his pals tried to
                    save him. But it was too late the hole ate him whole. Merlin
                    spoke: ``Oh no! Our best warior is now gone!!! How are
                    we going to git that radioactive roach off that remote?``
                    Gizmo replied: Uh.. Thats the wrong roach Merlin!``
                    Merlin spoke out again:Oh... oh there it is! AND ITS
                    DESTROYING CARROTUS!!!!!!!!! Whatll we
                    do??????!?!?!?!?`` And a voice spoke out ``Maybe ill
                    help!``Merlin asked:``Wh..who are you??? It replied:``Im
                    Bart who the heck are you?``Melin said:im Merlin, thats
                    Gizmo thats Wakeman and... oh youll know it later!``Bart
                    said:`` lookin for that Deth Man??``
                    ``Yeah!``Merlin said. Bart answered ``inside that
                    roach!`` They all said:``DOH!!!!!``
                    Wakeman asked: ``How will we get to him?`` ``Well have
                    to find a worm hole so we can rescue Deth Man!``said Bart
                    Gizmo asked:
                    ``Where?..Where will we find a worm hole?
                    ``Well have to look for one in the castle!``
                    Just wait! Bart (me) will produce an episode for something
                    called: The Rescue of Deth Man!
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 06-03-98 9:34 AM
                    Actually, that is partially what warped is about.. if you'll
                    read the previous posts by Merlin and I, you'll see in that
                    particular "timeline" I'm still waiting for the rabbits to try
                    and rescue me (which is tied to the Warped tile-set, along
                    with the pack of levels).
                    But you can't rescue me until I finish Warped :)

                    Btw Merlin, very clever... very clever indeed :-)

                    - DethMan
  profile | email | edit |
                    posted 06-03-98 10:26 PM
                    Heheh I thought you might like that :> i

Hiya Arven here,
    Dethman has hired me for this page, and this page i will update, every once
in a while, now i have began a new thread on the Megaboard, and am asking you
to add to it please, cause if you or i dont add to it, this page may never
get updated besides these little messages from me, but if you will add to
the thread Story For the War Tavern it'll be put up here, so please do so,
so go and add to the thread.

 Stories from the Unreal Thread that was in
Jazz Jackrabbit 2 Forum
Buster walk's over to the unreal forum, not wishing to be
argumentive, to see these "cool" people.
He brouses back and forth, listening to large commandos talking to
each other. He is shocked.
Insults, cussing and what-the-heck-are-they-saying tech talk seems
to be the norm. This is cool?
One commando stood up and started yelling and cussing...then he
made a snide remark about Tim Sweeny...
Suddenly the room went silent...every commando looked over at
the man who had dared to speak the evil words...the backed
cringing into the walls...
Buster watched as a rather large, ugly and battle worn commando
stood up. He looked calm, yet Buster knew by the reactions of the
others that his buisness was not pleasent.
He was feared.
Buster stood staring at him, fixed upon his eyes...those eyes...they
looked, could it be? No...and yet, the reminded him of a grey bunny
he once saw...
The commando who had spoken against Sweeny stood staring at
the large brute, and he started to sweat...he looked to his
companions, but they just backed away in terror.
The large one called to him, and as he looked up...*click*
It was over, and the large commando sat back down. Once again
the boasts of the fighters could be heard. It was as if nothing had
A janitor came in and began to clean up the ash that now lay
where the ill-fated commando had been.
And as he stood there, Buster thought to himself, "is this cool?"
Krall walks away from the JJ2 MMB, wondering why the blank he
just did that.. after all, what good is it trying to talk to a bunch of
JJ2 jerks, who don't know what good gaming is? :)
Instincts suddenly scream, as a finger taps him on the shoulder..
whipping around, he faces.. DethMan..
No one ever saw his face before, and it looked like he intended to
keep it that way. He was disuised as an evil black rabbit with
rippling muscles. Hmm..
Instantly, his hand goes for his Disruption Pistol.. he forgot to bring
his other arsenal along.
WHAM! With a simple knock of DethMan's Dimensional Ripper, the
gun goes flying off a nearby cliff, that somehow appeared just in
time to swallow up the gun.
DethMan smiles, and says "You know.. that post is a little off topic."
Holding Krall up by his pinky finger, he draws him up close.. hmm,
Krall's gotta be smarting now, the smell is really strong that close
"So, why don't you stick to the Unreal form"
With one last evil grin, he brings his D.R.I.P blaster up, and then....
SLAM! With an uppercut Spaz would envy, he throws Krall all the
way back to Unreal, with a large bruise..
DethMan mumbles something like "Why'd that idiot come here.. I
like Unreal, and now I gotta kick him and pretend I don't.. rats."

                    History of Buster

                    Years ago Buster was a member of the Carrotus Allience of Hunters, a group of skilled warriors
                    whose perpose was to hunt for money, aka "Bounty Hunting".

                    While the main perpose of the group was dishonorable, the group maintaned honor during battle,
                    always fighting fair.

                    Many targets, both bunny and turtle, where taken down by the Allience before it's destruction in -Date

                    The Allience fell due to Malevolent, a dark bunny who joined through cunning. He cared little for honor
                    and atempted to take over the Taleus 7 Star Base, the Allience HQ, for his own dark perposes.

                    Buster atempted to stop Malevolent, but it was to no avail. The other Hunters fell under his powerful
                    fighting skills, and only Buster remained.

                    Buster faced Malevolent for the last time during the year -Date Unavailible-.

                    The battle took place upon the Taleus 7 in the Reactor Core Room.

                    Buster was thrust out into space during a strange warp-phase that occured when Malevolent
                    attempted to use the reactor core power to generate a Tatalus Field.

                    The Taleus 7 was thrust into space and neither it nor Malevolent was ever seen again.

                    Buster now resides on Carrotus where he refines his battle skills amongst the Legends.
                    End History
Captain Spam
                       posted 08-04-98 12:20 PM EST             delete set permissions

                    A lone figure walks into the new MB. The typical blank, silly look on his face is replaced by a look of
                    depression. He understands that the converter program didn't save the messages, but he misses the
                    old posts, especially the pride and joy of the board (Maybe), the 125 reply JJ3 post.

                    His name is Captain Spam. Not exactly a rare face, he is quite well known. His skills in JCS are
                    legendary for some odd reason, and he can fight a pretty mean fight, given it's a good day.

                    He walks around, noting the extreme emptiness of the familiar virtual cork bulletin board. Not noticing
                    a post with more than 2 replies to it, he decides to make the most of it and throw something on.

                    Then, he turns to the left and right. He hollers out, "HELLO?" A reverberating echo greets him. Not
                    even the war taverns are open yet. Nobody responds. Seizing the opportunity, he takes out his
                    stereo, taking advantage of the great acoustics.

                    Just before he can turn it on, another bunny walks in. Captain Spam decides that he'd look like a
                    jerk playing a stereo at full blast when someone else is actually there. He quickly hides it under his
                    shirt, which is kinda amazing, seeing as how a full amplifier and speaker system unusally doesn't fit
                    under one's shirt.

                    Immediately deciding that this post SHOULD have something to do about Jazz 2, he quickly (And
                    crudely) makes up a message:

                    Coming sooner or later, I'll be whipping together another Jazz 2 level... this one's a relatively secret
                    project. All I'll say is that it's going to be in the 300 series (Have you been paying attention?). Enjoy!

                    -Captain Spam


                    Something big was hunting just outside the War Tavern.

                    All the bunnies where huddled together in a corner, trying to keep as far from the windows as

                    Which, judging from Dethmans skin which was at this moment hanging outside the window to dry,
                    was a good idea.

                    After two long hours, Buster got mad.

                    "ARE WE S-SUCH C-C-COWARDS?!"

                    Getting up, he walked slowly, knees knocking, teeth chatering, and armpits sweating to the door.

                    He opened it.

                    He steped outside.

                    Buster looked out into the dark was night, and it was cloudy, and it was windy, and the
                    trees where standing like great giants hungery for fresh blood.

                    Buster steped off the Taverns porch, and started into the wood. The wind was blowing through the
                    trees, cold like the icy breath of death, and making a low, gostly mouning sound. Buster's hair was
                    standing on end, and a chill went up his spine.

                    Suddenly, an evil, loud roar broke the icy sound of the wind...something was here, close, with

                    Buster spun around at readied his blaster...well, he would have, but his blaster wasn't there!

                    A huge, ugly face broke through the trees, and Buster was suddenly in some...THINGS mouth! The
                    next thing he knew, he was sliping down his large throat...

                    Suddenly, Buster is falling...through the air right down on the Tavern!


                    Buster makes a not so soft landing, then falls through the roof on top of the other bunnys.

                    The other bunnys pull out blasters and proceed to shoot at Buster, who races out the door...

                    Looking up, Buster sees a very large rock falling right over top of him!

                    It's all to much!


                    Then he wakes up.

                 posted 08-05-98 10:13 PM EST             delete set permissions

              <begin story>
              The time is after the Col-
              <begin RIGHT story>
              it was a cozy afternoon at the new megaboard. However, the local
              hero Jon Maclellan couldn't fix one thing.
              for the last 2 days that the new megaboard had been opened, many
              famous rabbits had disappeared then reappeared.
              for example ZZTPyro and Arven the Warrior
              ZZTPyro came back as Buster.
              Arven the Warrior came back as Arven.
              Then he came back as ª®vèñ
              There was not a way to know you where safe.
              Little did Coolmon know that he would become a victim. He posted
              a message, then left. Coming back, he went to post a message.
              FLASH! he was flying into total oblivion.
              FLASH! he was in the Unreal forum.
              <!--Time Passes--!>
              he landed on a grassy hillside. Soon, he recognized it. Diamondus
              Warzone. He knew exactly where he was. He was on a slope near
              the red base.
              Getting up, he heard the sound of blaster shots. Then a whine.
              he turned around.
              He watched in amazement at the powered up missile one red had
              shot at the other.
              he then watched a bit more, then he remembered what to do in a
              situation like this. He turned around and ran.
              But there was one thing that was different.
              A homing missile powerup.
              he looked again.
              he heard the sound of a dropping body.
              He quickly shot the powerup and RAN
              he was running like the wind towards the red base. It was chaos.
              Some players were roasting people with the same color as them.
              And some had all different colored names, and it was impossible to
              tell which team they were on.
              Then the one bunny leaped above him, and began shooting homing
              missiles. He turned around, and came face to face with the nuzzle
              of a blaster.
              He leaped hi into the air, but was frozen while he was still in a ball
              fortunately, his pursuer was roasted, and he rolled saely down the
              hill and RAN. he wanted out of this place! FLASH!
              he was suddenly tumbling through cyberspace.
              FLASH! the megaboard.
              FLASH! the submit reply form!
              He quickly re-registered.

posted 08-05-98 11:24 PM EST             delete set permissions


Here I go...
Transmission log 8/5/98 9:18 am :

<Moat> Geez, I thought they fixed this dang thing!
<Flip> They did, I supervised it personally
<Moat> Well that explains it then. Hehe...
<Flip> Ha ha ha, aren't you the giggle box today?
<Moat> Well, humor is pobably the only thing that keeps me sane at this stinking post
<Flip> Aahh, it's not that bad. I'd rather be nice and cozy here then getting shell shocked by a bunch of turtles.
<Moat> We are rabbits not Jack#$%es! I enlisted to help protect Carrotus, not watch the carrots grow!
<Flip> Well, we have just started, they always give the stupid posts to the rookies. If we do well here , then we are easily on our way to promotion.........
<Moat> WHAT IS THAT NOISE..crackle..WHAT THE HEC.....crackle...OH MY
End of log
The sky became red as fire as millions of flaming balls dropped from the air. As they hit, they through huge amounts of dust and debris into the air.
Suddenly, one of the rocks began to move...
Back in the sleepy town of Dort, people awoke to the sound of screams and crashes. As they began to look out their windows, they saw a huge army of turtles march into the small town. They immediatly raided houses and began to
fortify themselves.
<Com officer> Major, we have lost contact with one of our fringe posts.
 <Major Rarebit> Well, send a repair team out tomorrow to take a look.
<Com officer> Umm, sorry Major but I think you should take a long at the com log for the post.
<Major Rarebit> Do I need this irritation?....Geez, better send a couple of Jackrabbits with that repair team.
<Com officer> Yes SIR!
The Jackrabbit Marine Base is starting to buzz with activity as the sun begins to rise
A couple of ratty animals are slowly walking toward a flashing room.
<Warp Controller> Please take your positions Jackrabbits
The messy animals each stand on a small metal circle set in the round.
<Warp Controller> Ok, here we go....Geez, we can't seem to get a warp link with the Dort warp station. Guess you guys will have to go the hard way.
The Warp Controller smiles and shuts down the warp machine
On the rolling hills of the Carrotus farms, a rabbit is tending to his carrots.
Suddenly, he hears some thumping as a Jackrabbit leaps over his head. Then another and another. He slowly stands up and looks around but the Jackrabbits are long gone.
<Mest> Holy cow!! That town is trashed, looks like it was hit by a tornado!!
<Feak> Or a huge army of turtles
Feak reaches down and picks up a fragment of something that looks like a turtle shell
<GoleX> Geez, take a look over there!
The other 2 Jackrabbits follow GoleX's gaze to the valley alongside the town. It has been pocketed by hundreds of little craters.
<Feak> I smell something fishy
<Mest> So, wadda we do now?
<GoleX> Lets check out the post and then move into the town.
The door opens with a long squeak then falls off its hinges. Inside the post, the see nothing but a pile of burnt rubble.
<Feak> Where the rabbits go?
<Mest> To a happier place I think
<GoleX> Let's move out to the town but be careful
Something moves in the corner of Mest's eye. He looks around for what it was and finds a loose shutter. He could feel the adrenaline pumping through his body as his foot suddenly twitched
(Mest) Get a hold of yourself
he thought. Mest looked to his right to find GoleX staring straight back at him. Then Mest realised that Golex was looking by him, to the back of him...
The 3 Jackrabbits were wondering down the main street in Dort. GoleX realised that if there was some trouble in Dort, this is where he would find it. He also realised that they were out in the open like sitting rabbits.
<GoleX> whispering: Mest, stay very still.
GoleX slowly moved for his trusty blaster and got half way their until the street came alive with fire
All the 3 Jackrabbits hit the dirt hard, Mest getting winded.
<Mest> Holy s%$#, holy s$#%
GoleX rolled onto his back, and loaded a golden missle into his blaster. He aimed straight in the air and fired. The missle flew straight up and then hung there for a while. Damn, GoleX thought, that means there are multiple targets.
Suddenly, as if the missle had made up its mind, it flew toward the nearest house and exploded. Bits of wood flew everywhere and then they saw an empty turtle shell come rolling out.
<Mest> So, we're dealing with turtles!
<GoleX> You got any golden missles?
<Mest> Yep
<Feak> Only a couple
<GoleX> Okay Mest, Plan B. Feak, you provide back up.
Mest leaps to feat and begins bounding down the street. In the middle of every jump, he would fire a gold missle, essentially clearing the street. Suddenly, he lands in a pot hole and trips. Just before he lands, he feels a searing pain in
his side. He glances left and sees a turtle with his pistol raised and a big grin on his face. Mest turns in mid fall and shoots a golden missle. No more turtle he thought as he landed unconcious.
<GoleX> Ok Feak, Mest has done his job lets get outta here. Follow me.
The 2 jackrabbits start hopping towards Mest, the whole time, continuly shooting. GoleX throws Mest over his soldier and does a power punch onto a nearby roof top. Feak follows behind. Suddenly, the roof underneath them vanishes
with an explosion and they fall through. They land into a room full of dust. They hear the sound of turtles coming toward them but they also hear something else. Something so slight, a normal bunny wouldn't hear it. They turn to see 2
rabbit marines tied together and gagged. Feak rushes to get them while GoleX begins firing wildly into the smoke.
<GoleX> Hurry, my ammo is running low!
<Feak> Got them, lets go.
GoleX sees a small room and dives into it. After Feak has come through with the 2 marines, he shuts it and locks it. He lowers Mest of his soldier and peers around. He feels something cold and mettallic under his foot. He looks down
and sees a metal circle. On the adjacent wall, he says a warp control
<GoleX> Jackpot!!
He presses the power button. He looks through the list of default warp destinations. He decides on the county hospital. He selects it and helps the marines and Mest on their warp pads. Feak and him also get on a pad. The small room
is suddenly filled with light as the door is broken down and turtles begin to pour in. All the find is a whole bunch of TNT left on the warp controller. KABOOM!!
<GoleX> Damn it Major! That was near suicide! But who cares eh? Just send in the Jackrabbits, let them get slaughtered! That is BS!!
<Major Rarebit> We had no idea what was going on! We would have sent a full breach unit if we knew it was an turtle bunker!!
<GoleX> Tell that to Mest!
<Mest> Tell me what?
Mest suddenly limps into the debriefing room with a big patch on his side.
<GoleX> Nothing, absolutely nothing
GoleX steals a glance at the Major
<GoleX> Shouldn't you be in rehabilitation?
Just then, Feak runs in out of breath.
<Feak> Oh there you are, the whole hospital is looking for you. You are late for your rehabilitation!
<GoleX> I was just saying that. So long Major.
GoleX gives a half hearted salute and helps Mest get out the door. The 3 Jackrabbits walk down the long hall towards the glowing warp room.

                       posted 08-13-98 10:18 PM EST          delete set permissions


                    All eyes turned in surprise as the door to the tavern was mysteriously blown away by a bright flash.
                    As the smoke cleared, one lone rabbit emerged from the shadows.

                    No one knew who he was...
                    No one knew where he came from...
                    They only knew one thing about him... His reputation for making flashy entrances.

                    He walked to the bar, in an ever graceful manner. "Give me da hardest stuff ya got!" he ordered in a
                    low, robust voice, thereby breaking the silence.

                    As he gulped down his drink, he looked at the staring crowd. Everyone was silent as he spoke. "So,
                    ya wanna know somethin' about me, eh?"

                    The rabbits nodded their heads; who was this bright blue stranger and what was he doing at the

                    "Ok, then.... I'm sure you've all heard of the Mighty Merlin and DethMan the Intrepid, right?"

                    All nodded their heads, for that famous duo has roasted all of them at least 5, if not 10, times before.

                    "Well, then, allow me ta introduce m'self... I am the JS Leader, the Legend of Lagunicus. Where I
                    come from, I've managed to roast every single rabbit who has dared to challenge me, with
                    sometimes fatal results.
                    Anyway, I got bored with them and decided to roam the galaxy, searching for other legends to fight
                    against. I've beaten the best from Medivo, JungRock, and even Tubelectric. I heard about these two
                    legends from Diamondus from my latest victim. I was thinkin that he was playin' some sort of joke on
                    me, but as soon as I landed, I knew that the rumors were true. One rabbit ran up to me in a panic
                    and warned me about them, saying to stay as far away from them as possible. HAH! I never back
                    down from a challenge! Could someone tells me where dey hang out?"

                    "I can," replied a rabbit in the far right corner of the room.

                    Everyone gasped as they saw none other than DethMan rising up out of the chair. "You lookin' for

                    "Are you the one they call 'DethMan the Intrepid?'"

                    "Who else? I've heard of you, and how you're the Legend of Lagunicus.... How'd you like to go up
                    against me?"

                    "Like I said, I never back down from a challenge! Diamondus WarZone, 1 hour! Don't be late!"

                    "You're gonna regret it, punk!"

                    "We'll see about that!" the JS Leader growled as he headed out the door....

                       posted 08-14-98 12:14 AM EST             delete set permissions

                    The tavern was peaceful......ahkay, it was kinda loud in there. But everyone was enjoying
                    themselves, chugging Carrot Juice and playing Poker.

                    Then a rabbit comes through the door.
                    No one gasps, unfortunately. =)

                    He walks toward the bar guy person dude.

                    "Gimme some....."
                    "S-s-s-s-some what?"
                    "Some MILK."

                    He chugs his milk.

                    Someone stands up and says, "Are you the one they call 'Wild Dino'?"

                    "Nope." He replied. "I made up the name, but no one ever calls me that. Geez."

                    Another rabbit stands up. "Say, I've never seen you before! Where are you from?!"

                    Dino says, "Diamondus....."

                    Everyone waits for him to finish the sentence.

                    ".......(in happy voice)A cool cave. Pretty neat place. Up by the Diamondus Mine Mountain. You
                    should see it sometime."

                    Everyone stared at him, thinking he would make a REALLY dramatic....thing. Everyone went back to
                    there stuff.

                    Dino ordered more milk. He drank it.....then ran out of the tavern.

                    By Dino Rabbit.
                       posted 08-26-98 09:16 PM EST          delete delban

                    Well, here I go again :P

                    A burly looking man walked into the bar... the door squeaking behind him, the floor groaning as he
                    walked upon it. As usual, all the rabbits 'n hares looked to check out the new comer.

                    He was huge, and had a bit of weight about him.. like 200 pounds. Soaring a foot or two more than
                    the normal height of a jackrabbit, he had to duck under the hanging lights in the bar.

                    The floor groaned even more, as he walked towards the bar...
                    "Bottle 'o carrot juice.. no glass." He said to the bar tender in a low gruff voice.
                    If an observer were to comment on it, he'd probably say it sounded like he hadn't had a drink in a
                    long long time..

                    The bar tender slid the drink down to him, landing into his large hand with an annoying slap.

                    Slowly he started to sit down...

                    The tender' looked like he was about to sit on a large glass ornament.

                    The bar stool almost crushed under his enormous weight.

                    "Hey fatso, got a story to tell?" yelled a young rabbit in his teens.

                    The bar erupted in laughter.

                    The big rabbit slowly turned his head toward the kid.

                    The laughter immediately stopped.

                    He stared at the boy, with a look that could have shredded steel. His eyes were like daggers, red
                    with the blood surging through him, his teeth seemed to glow, glinting in the light; his nose flared,
                    like he was a dragon about to spew fire.

                    The warning look was enough... the entire tavern shut up quicker than a jackrabbit can spit on a bug.

                    Slowly the stranger smiled, a queer sort of smile, a large scar on the side of his face stopped it from
                    looking even half normal.

                    "Yeah... I do.." he sounded afar off... he fur told that he had seen a lot of aging.. his large shoulders
                    and built body showed he'd also seen battle throughout most of it..

                    He was born for battle.

                    "Ever heard of the legends of DethMan, Koopa, MErlin, Onag, or the numerous other great warriors?"
                    His smile seemed to grow larger, as he thought of another galaxy, far away... unreachable by normal

                    The crowd was hushed.. not a word uttered.

                    The big man's smile grew even larger.

                    "Did you know DethMan had a father?"

                    The hush was broke by a unanimous gasp.. and then the spell of this large man seemed to fall upon
                    them again, instantly quenching the gasp. Everyone knew he had a father, it was the only way he
                    could come into existence..
                    Or was it?

                    The large man made his way over to a table in the center of the bar.. the bartender grimaced as he
                    sat down, almost crushing another chair.

                    The fat man's smile faded.
                    "Let me tell you about his brother..."

                    Like DethMan, his name was unknown.. most people called him Chief BlackFur.. for obvious
                    reasons, if you had seen him. In an age I have not known for forty years, I met BlackFur.. and his
                    son. I was traveling in an old yacht I'd built, by the name of Yamato. She was a good old ship,
                    cruised the stars like the young'ns cruise the fields. Her weaponry lacked some, sure, but she was
                    the fastest hunk of junk in this 'ere side o' the galaxy. Back then, there were no police forces.. fo'
                    that matter, weren't much ships out at all. I was blessed by the God 'o all to find the ship, abandoned
                    in an ancient time. I'd used 'er for years.. she'd become a home, for by the time I'd gone, I'd lost my
                    real home to clone invasions. All m' family was lost... they went to a better place I 'reckon.
                    But me mind is a wanderin' agin'.
                    I was out flyin' her by with a cargo o' carrot rum. Good stuff it was, and made a surely profit, bein' the
                    only place producin' it was Carrotus.
                    Welp', I was goin' along, when ma ships' sensors picked up something real weird like... a mirror of
                    me own ship; she just 'peared in front of me face.

                    With a voice that seemed to break the story's spell, the kid raised a taunt to the old man.. a
                    question he thought would surely ruin the story.
                    "Well, how in the world is a ship supposed to appear in front of you, and the same one at that..," the
                    kid looked closer at the big old man, "or are you having delusions."

                    Several of the crowed glared at the kid, no one was supposed to interrupt a story...
                    Well, a good one anyway.

                    The old man smiled... "I reckon I'll git to that boy.. si'down."

                    The teenager fumed.. it was obvious. But he was curious how the old man would explain himself out
                    of this; he sat down with a thump.

                    There I was, a see'in sumthin impossible. Me own ship in front of me. She was dead in space, sittin'
                    like a scared duck.
                    I stared at the computer display showing the ship just off the bow.. was I seeing a reflection? Twer' I
                    gettin' delusional?

                    "I'll say you were" the teenager grumbled under his breath.
                    Several of the nearby patrons shushed him.

                    The big man continued..

                    Even at the age of twenty, I was seeing things?
                    The ship ahead of me lurched forward, it's engines kicking a massive cloud of invisible space dust
                    behind it.
                    Even though my good 'ol Yamato was at cruisin' speed, she could kick just a' big a cloud o dust. I hit
                    the throttle level forward with thee palm o' my hand, throwing me into my seat, my lungs aching for

                    My ship seemed to match her speed for speed.
                    Reasonable, seeing an identical ship must mean identical engines.. because the way my ship
                    looked, no one in his right mind would try to copy her design.

                    Zooming in with my pinpoint scanners, another nice feature of my good ship, I could see there was
                    something different... the ship in front of me, her communications satellite twas sheared clean off,
                    her radar was broked in pieces.
                    She din' even know I was right off her stern.
                    I twas a mere kilo off her back end, close enough to spit on a fly, and she couldn't even see me.. she
                    was blind'r th'n a bat.

                    Ahead I saw a great site... a portal through time in space rippled open, a beam from the ship
                    seeming to create it.. our engines might be identical, but that sure weren't my ship; I didn't go around
                    opening portals like that, 'much as I'd like to.

                    The portal seemed to ripple the very fabric of time and space.. reminding me of some other warp hole
                    stories I'd heard.. but nothing like this.

                    It was huge.. big enough to envelope a planet, yet it seemed small enough to only touch a caraprian

                    My ship jerked, being pulled into the portal... another jerk from the ship broke me from my trance,
                    bringing common sense back to m' head. I threw the throttle back, kicking the engines in full
                    reverse.. the ship groaned with the effort, but aside from jarring my head around more than usual, but
                    it was of no avail.. I was being pulled in, and the my ships' engines couldn't pull air through a filter.

                    How stupid I was.. staying so close behind that ship.. whatever it was. Would I ever learn?

                    Probably not.

                    Blackness enveloped both of our ships, throwing consciousness from me..

                    -= DethMan =-
                       posted 08-27-98 01:14 PM EST             delete delban

                    Part 1001100011001001010101. I.e. 2. =)

                    The big old rabbit smiled, his scar stretching... it looked like it would hurt any ordinary man to
                    stretch a large scar like that... it was an old scar, true, but the scar was so bad, it might've well been
                    new. As a matter of pure fact, the old warrior had quite a few scars..

                    "Well, there I was.. dun woke up--"

                    In the middle of no where... blackness enshrouded my ship, no stars were in sight... a dark curse
                    had come upon me. There was but one thing visible to my even-more-wrecked-that-before ship.. (if
                    that was possible for it to be in worse shape). A planet..

                    "Hey!" The teenager's voice broke the crowd's reverie.. again. "You aren't supposed to put
                    parenthesies in your talking.. that's impossible unless writing!"

                    The crowd groaned..

                    The big warrior ignored the interuption, he could put parenthsies where he pleased, talking, or

                    The planet was huge... twice the size of a gas giant. I'd never seen anything like it before.. it was not
                    lush and green, it was dark.. volcanic.. and looked like the whole thing would collapse if someone
                    dropped a feather on it; that is, if the feather didn't melt on the way to the surface.

                    The other ship was gone... had it been an illusion to lure me and my ship to this strange place?
                    Guess I'd never know.. atleast, not until you crazy people read the rest of this story.

                    "Hey--" the teenager interupted.
                    "Shut up." a nearby patron growled.

                    Well, I figured there was only one way to find out. The porthole wasn't very inviting, neither was this
                    empty space... not to mention the ugly dark dismal planet. But, like any hero wanabe in his
                    twenties, I hit what was left of the thrusters, and sped toward whatever my ultimate destiny was.

                    The heavy set rabbit cleared his throat, and continued..

                    As usual, my good engines were doing exactly niche. Which must mean the gravity was pulling my
                    ship towards it, even from this far away...
                    I slapped myself as hard as I could.
                    How could I be so stupid? The gravity on a planet like this would be enormous, and squish my ship
                    like a wafer before I even got that far in the atmosphere.
                    Even as I was hurtled through what was left of an atmosphere, my furry self blacking out yet again, I
                    thought a brilliant thought.. a blackout like this would serve good purpose for pausing a story, and
                    not having to tell how I got down the planet... it would keep the readers in suspense--

                    "While I have something to eat.. bartender!" the big rabbit roared in a deep voice.

                    Yep, you guessed the infamous words: The Crowd Moaned.

                    -= DethMan =-

                    Get protection from evil clans. Read your daily ToD. =)
                       posted 08-28-98 01:30 PM EST             delete delban

                    Brace yourself, this one's a bit long
                    Well, I didn't have much else to do, you can't blame me =]

                    Finishing a very large slice of carrot, like about the size of a rabbit's head, the fat rabbit grinned. It
                    seemed he knew he held the crowd in some kind of spell, and wanted to see how long they could
                    wait before a brawl broke out.

                    Apparently he decided against that idea.
                    Leaning up close to the table, his smile withered away, and he became serious again.

                    "Welp, der' I was... a wakin' up 'gain from a bad fall I reckon.."

                    The shroud of blackness rose above me, but didn't help much. I was in a pitch black room. Probably
                    the bridge; if it could be called that anymore.

                    Well, I figured the ship was trashed anyway, and I couldn't see a thing, much less find me way to the
                    exit. Thankfully, God allowed me blaster to remain in 'er sheath. Pulling out the blaster was a feat in
                    itself.. even though I had the latest upgraded model, made for small size and easy use, it was
                    extraordinarily heavy.
                    But, thank the Lord again, I had me muscles, and plenty of weight to back em up.

                    Finally squeezing the blaster out of it's holster, I tried to swing it up.. to no avail. I could barely lift it
                    an inch.

                    Handing his empty bottle of carrot juice to the nearby bartender, he indicated he wanted another.

                    "Well, get on with it." A deep voice said.

                    A couple heads turned to the newcomer.. he had just walked into the bar, and no one had noticed..

                    "Alright.. there I was ya see, sittin' thar..."

                    I braced myself... this next part would hurt. Bracing myself on what felt like a nearby wall, I tried to
                    lift the gun with all my might... it felt like five hundred pounds. My muscles tensed, slowly raising it
                    one inch as before... through shear will power, I kept myself from dropping the gun.. my arms were
                    shaking, my muscles cramping, sending a shearing pain through my body.. I kept lifting, two
                    I roared a growl from my mouth, as though strengthening my arms... using all of my weight braced
                    against the wall, I lifted it further.... my muscles were shaking uncontrollably.
                    Like a madman, I screamed as I felt on of my arms split, blood pouring to whatever was the floor, I
                    kept going, I had to get out... my face contorting with strain and pain, I finally lifted the gun to a level


                    A sickening crunch threw me into shock.. my arm had just been broked.. or crushed, whichever way
                    a person would prefer to describe it.. As I was falling to the floor, my useless arm snapped back in
                    some unseen recoil, hitting the trigger on the big blaster...
                    The gun roared, releasing it's wrath in a form of pure deadly energy... shooting forth and colliding with
                    the side of my ship.
                    Still falling toward the floor, milliseconds passing like years, I could see the bright explosion in slow
                    motion, the shriek of metal as it was torn apart, shredded into small pieces..

                    I hit the floor, another sickening crack resounding off the walls, as I broke a rib in my fall.. the blaster
                    fell with a vengeance, hitting the floor as though it were dying.. the noise almost broke my eardrums,
                    the metal floor roared, as it gave in to the weight of the blaster, falling to form around the gun in a
                    very large dent.

                    Light flooded the room from outside, as the smoke cleared... I could see inside my ship.. what was
                    left of it.
                    I was on the ceiling of the ship, the ship itself was upside down.. all the debris laying about me,
                    sharp shards of metal from the explosion.. if I tried to walk, I would get more wounds than I already

                    A wave of pride swept through me, my aim had come true.. it had blasted a hole right where the door
                    used to be..

                    At the sacrifice of an arm, turned to useless dangling string.. and a rib that threw sharp pains into
                    my chest...
                    Atleast I wasn't numb, I could still feel the pain.

                    My eyes glinted in the light from outside, forcing me to squint.. I was on the lava planet, but I was
                    not a flat pancake.. how could this be?
                    I had time for that later... right now I had to find a way to get out.

                    Ignoring the pain in my chest, and generally everywhere in my body, I crawled towards the hole in
                    the door.. using my hand, I slowly slipped along the floor, trying to clear away the sharp shards of
                    metal in my path, before more of them pierced my fur.

                    It was not easy... finally reaching the “door” I’d blown, I collapsed (if it was possible to collapse while
                    crawling) into a heap of fur. Forcing my head up, I looked outside... there was a bright light coming
                    from somewhere, and it seemed to be flickering.. it was not natural. The planet itself however,
                    seemed to glow an eerie red.. probably the lava all around me. I appeared to have crashed on a tall
                    cliff like mountain, with sharp drops everywhere, and cracks all over in the surface.. below was lava..
                    the whole planet seemed to be made of it.
                    The surface my ship was perched on was not very large.. maybe about four times the size of my
                    ship, which isn’t saying much, considering the size of her.

                    I was completely out of breath.. I had several wounds, and would die in the next couple hours, unless
                    I could get the ship going again.. which was an impossibility.

                    I was dead.

                    Well, it wasn’t the first time the author of my life book decided to make me jump at the fact.

                    A piercing creak filled the air, sending my brain nuts... a warning in the back of my head lit up.

                    The old rabbit paused to take a drink.. swallowing that cool soothing liquid of carrot juice.. story
                    telling definitely dried a persons throat.

                    “C’mon!” A nearby rat yelled.. hmm, this place must be for more than rabbits.

                    “Alright, alright..”

                    I used what was left of my legs to brace up against a nearby hard object.. don’t ask what it was.
                    I’ve learned from past experiences, that your gut feeling is usually correct.. and when your gut
                    screams a warning to get out, it’s usually a good idea.
                    Ignoring my almost unbearable pain, I lurched forward with all that was in me, flying straight towards
                    the opening in the wall.

                    The ship lurched; the screaming of metal scraping on rock filled the air, the ship was sliding off the
                    cliff.. the doorway was moving, I’d jumped at the wrong time.. too late.

                    I wasn’t going to make it.

                    I was a mere two feet from the door, flying towards it in the air.. the door now was halfway off... half
                    of me would make it, the other half wouldn’t.. and that would not exactly feel good, seeing the sharp
                    edges of the hole.

                    In a place like this, where life and death hangs in the balance, and usually a lot more of the latter,
                    there was only on thing to do.

                    My hand flew forward, hitting the side wall, the metal from the hole slipped straight through my arm
                    with ease.. I didn’t feel it; I was in so much pain already, it simply blocked it out.

                    It was enough... the push in the wall sent me back on course, straight through the hole.

                    As I flew over the air in slow motion, I saw my ship slowly slide.. increasing in speed, towards the
                    lava.. the shearing sound of rock on metal, and metal on rock filled the air, as the Yamato slipped
                    through to it’s doom, falling down the incredibly long stretch of air towards the lava.... beyond the
                    rock I couldn’t see anything.. my ship fell to it’s doom, and I couldn’t even witness it’s death.

                    All I heard was a quiet sound from far off.. like a rock hitting water.

                    Time speeded up.. I hit the ground, sending pain through my spine, atleast, if I was able to even feel
                    an increase in pain.

                    I laid there, flat on the ground, and assessed the situation.
                    I’d lost both arms now, both dangling uselessly.

                    My chest was wounded so bad now, I could barely even breath.

                    I’d managed to avoid death several times, from the planet’s incredible gravity, which should’ve
                    crushed me flat, to jumping out the hole... would I really have to die here, without even being able to
                    try to live?

                    -= DethMan =-
                       posted 08-28-98 07:47 PM EST             delete delban

                    The internet almost broke, the net people groaning as yet another story post occupied their normally
                    useless time in one day.

                    “Ahh...” the old man sighed in.. well, whatever.

                    “Thanks for the refill Bluez, remind me to get some money to pay ya.” he grinned.

                    Bluez frowned so hard, it looked like it hurt.

                    “Anyway, as I was a’ sayin’...”

                    Well, it’s tough to kill an old cracker like me.. or a young one, s’pose depends on how ya look at it.

                    Looking around for any source of life, I found..

                    “Lemme guess fatso, nuthin!” the teenager interupted.. yet another time.

                    The old rabbit tried to hide a killer’s look.. he did a bad job, apparently he wasn’t used to being nice.

                    “Ehm..” the rabbit cleared his throat.

                    I saw nothing.. just a bright light seeming to emit from somewhere.. but I couldn’t tell where, and the
                    ground was relatively flat; aside from the cracks, crevices, rocks, and elevations; as far as the eye
                    could see.

                    Well, thank the Lord for fixin’ me body up to survive a crack like this, he made the perfect thing...
                    Two large teeth, with an even larger space between ‘em.

                    Straining my neck, I cut one of my straps to my backpack.

                    Slipping the strap under my..

                    The old man glanced around at the group of kids by the door.. decided against using more graphical
                    And why were there kids in a rough bar like this anyway?

                    Slipping the strap under my... slit arm.

                    The metal had slipped out when I flew through the door, and there didn’t appear to be any bits left
                    inside the arm, so atleast that was in my favor.

                    Using my arms’ enormous weight, which had become about the normal weight to the power of ten
                    due to gravity, the arm held the strap in place.

                    I used my trusty teeth to wrap the leather around my arm.. my teeth were probably the only calcium
                    in my body that hadn’t been broken in some way.

                    As usual, God was lookin’ after me.. I’d had the good thought put in my head to pay extra for leather,
                    and an adjustable leather at that.

                    Tightening the leather as much as I could, I observed the fact that, even thought it was leather, it
                    wouldn’t hold long... but it would allow me to use my arm, atleast in a very awkward way, that was
                    extremely limited.

                    Biting off the other strap of my back pack, I rolled over to let the pack fall off. It fell with ease, feeling
                    like 600 pounds were just lifted from me. I used my partially repaired arm to wrap the other strap
                    around my chest.. like the one around my arm, it probably wouldn’t do any good after an hour or two.

                    Aside from my broken, partially cut, and completely useless arm, I was in pretty good shape, seeing
                    what I’d been through.

                    I slowly and painfully stood up, taking a better look at my surroundings. The standing cliff surface I
                    was on spread out in about 40 feet all around, with numerous small crevices in between the ditches
                    and small rocks.

                    To my right the cliff surfaces and large rocks scattered the surface of the planet as far as the eye
                    could see, with an occasional elevation, or strange looking rocks shooting up further than the rest.

                    In front and in back of me, it was all the same.. however, to my left there was an extremely high rock
                    formation, with what appeared to be a small hole blasted inside of it - just the size for someone big
                    like me to slip through.. how convenient.

                    > You are standing on a black rock.
                    You are seriously injured.

                    <> Look

                    > To the west is a large rock formation.
                    You are seriously injured.

                    <> Look at rocks

                    > There is a large hole blasted into the rocks, appearing to lead inside a passage.
                    You are seriously injured.

                    <> w

                    > You move painfully to the west formation of rocks, losing one hitpoint in the process.
                    You are very seriously injured.

                    Finally reaching the hole in the wall, and managing to avoid various lava pots along the way, I came
                    to a new obstacle that I hadn’t noticed before...

                    A mile high crevice leading straight into surging lava.

                    It spanned about five feet wide, and as far along as the eye could see.
                    Then something else caught my eye..

                    There was a small bridge, about 4 inches thin, running all the way across the cliff to the
                    passageway, and it was made of good solid black rock; like everything else around here.

                    The only problem was, it was filled with so many cracks, even forcefully blurring your eyes couldn’t
                    block their obviousness.

                    Well, I’d had enough with chances... running towards the bridge with all my might, I took a flailing
                    attempt at a long leap.

                    The large crashing noise made something immediately, and painfully, obvious:

                    I’d missed by a foot.

                    -= DethMan =-
                    If you make the level, they will come.

                       posted 09-05-98 10:27 AM EST             delete delban IP

                    Slugging down the last of yet another bottle o carrot juice, the old man continued..

                    I felt as though the world were spinnin', the entire bridge was falling in slow motion, like some movie
                    or sumthin. I desperately needed to get the thread to the top of the MMB-- er..

                    I desperately needed to get to the top, and grab hold of something.

                    Using my feet, I jumped from the falling rock, trying to grab hold of a broken rock that was sticking
                    out like a bad hang nail.

                    It looked like I would miss..

                    My hand slammed into the rock, confirming that I would indeed.. not miss.

                    My other arm was broken through and through, completely useless.. I was hanging by one hand.

                    Glancing down, I saw the bridge continuing it's fall, breaking up as it sped faster and faster towards
                    it's eminent doom.

                    I'd succeeded.. well, sorta.. I'd gotten to the top of the cliff, hanging on a rock with one hand. Now all
                    I needed was a way to pull myself up.

                    -= DethMan =-
                       posted 09-10-98 08:35 PM EST             delete delban IP

                    By now the old rabbit must've had every drink in the house, all the way from slug o cola and carrot
                    juice, to braggarian sneer.

                    He didn't waver a bit.. that had to be one solid stoumach.

                    "Welp.." the old rabbit continued his story...

                    There I was, hanging over the side of the cliff with one hand... it was a miracle I was even able to
                    grab hold of the edge.

                    I franticly tried to think of a way out... the surface of the cliff was rough, and wouldn't have been a
                    problem, except for the fact I was only holding on with one hand. Even with my enormous strength,
                    my hand was slipping from the immense weight of my body. And on such a rough surface, it basicly
                    felt like your hand slipping on a very rough sand paper.

                    How in the world could I get back up? I only had one arm; so to speak.

                    Slipping.. slipping.. ripping... hurting.. bleeding...

                    Bam! It hit me... even a kid would know the answer, from watching those holovids of Jazz, or playing
                    the latest hit game, Jazz Jackrabbit MXVIII..

                    Swinging my ears behing my head, I grabbed hold of my headband, swinging it up and over a nearby
                    rock. Fortunately the rock wasn't very smooth... it acted more like a strange formation standing up
                    from the surface.

                    Just in time. As soon as I'd wrapped my ears around the headband, my hand slipped completely off
                    the cliff's surface.

                    Useing my ears to hold myself in place, and my working arm to slowly lift myself up, I finally made it
                    to the surface.

                    And not without pain... my hand was--

                    The old man glanced around.. the kids seemed to be gone; he wasn't surprised, it was getting late.

                    My hand was in really bad shape.. it really did look like someone took an electric sander to it.
                    Picking up my headband, I wrapped it around my hand for a bandage.. it'd hold for a little while.

                    I couldn't go back accross to the other clifflike surface, the jump was too long. The only thing left to
                    do was go inside the tunnel.

                    I entered the tunnel, taking my first step to my destiny...

                    -= DethMan =-

                       posted 08-19-98 05:18 PM EST          delete delban

                    Before I begin, I would like you to know that any similarities to any real rabbits, dead or alive, are
                    purely coincidental and that I'm not responsible for any damage caused by these events.
                    Now, on with the story....

                    Time: 9:54 P.M.
                    Place: Lagunicus

                    The Story:

                    The gun smouldered as the JS Leader blew the smoke away from it. Looking down at the battlefield,
                    he saw the dead bodies of over 100 rabbits that had dared to challenge him in battle.

                    He was a legend. The Legend of Lagunicus, as he was known to all throughout the galaxy. As he
                    looked down, looking at all the dead rabbits, he thought "This would be the perfect time to search
                    their backpacks and see if they have something that I could use. After all, they have no need for
                    them anymore."

                    Walking down the hill, he approached his first victim, a bright red rabbit with an orange bandana.
                    Blood covered it's body, making it seem as if he had been blasted with red paint. Searching his BP
                    (backpack), the JS Leader found several spare power packs, all fully charged. "This could come in
                    handy," he said to himself, putting it in his own backpack.

                    He searched every single BP, discovering power-ups, extra ammo, carrots, power packs, etc. But
                    when he looked in the last victim's BP, he was amazed at the sight that stood before him: A Katana
                    Sword, made of Diamonds with a ruby-studded handle. The blade was as sharp as could be, and
                    was capable of slicing the trunk of a tree in one swipe. "Coolness!" he said out loud, holding it up
                    high above his head.

                    Just then, a bolt of lightning struck the sword, causing the JS Leader to be zapped away from it! He
                    flew a good 30-40 yards as the sword flew from his hand and stuck its handle down into the ground.

                    Regaining his consciousness, our hero went back toward the Katana Sword... only to discover a
                    strange glow around it. Pulling the sword out of the ground, he examined it carefully. He scoped
                    every inch of it, trying to figure out what had just happened. Then, for no apparent reason, the glow
                    grew brighter and more intense. The JS Leader had to shield his eyes to keep himself from going

                    A minute later, the glow was gone. Our hero opened his eyes to discover a portal right in front of him.
                    "What the--?!" he yelled in surprise. At first, he didn't know what to believe. But then, something gave
                    him the idea that this would lead him to new worlds, worlds that even the Mighty Merlin and DethMan
                    the Intrepid hadn't even discovered. Putting the Sword into its holder, he walked slowly towards the
                    portal. A bright flashed filled the battlefield as he walked in, then disappeared from sight....

                    2 B Continued

                    [This message has been edited by Jazzy (edited 08-19-98).]

                       posted 08-22-98 03:41 PM EST             delete delban

                    PART 2:

                    The JS Leader walked out the other side of the portal right in the middle of a war-torn battlefield... the
                    Medivo Battlefield, to be exact. (ironically, that's the name of my very first custom level!) "Uh-huh...
                    It's been a while since I fought here. I wonder if those power-ups are still up there...."

                    He never got to find out, for out of nowhere, a shadowy hand slapped him on the head, knocking him

                    A good 20 minutes later, our hero woke up in a dark room, with a faint light shining down upon him.
                    He checked it out, only to discover a horrifying voice... one that sent shivers down even his spine...

                    "So... you finally decided to show up, eh?" said the stranger in a low robust voice. "I've been waiting
                    for you...."

                    The JS Leader gasped. "DETHMAN!" he yelled.

                    "That's right," Deth replied. "I've been wanting revenge on you ever since you roasted me on
                    Diamondus oh so many years ago! In fact, I was exiled here after the battle ended, simply because I
                    had lost to YOU, of all people!"

                    (Note: Hey, this is MY story, isn't it??)

                    The JS Leader gulped again... "So why not try now? After all, I can still beat you with one hand tied
                    behind my back!"

                    "Don't get too cocky, 'cause I've been practicing on this battlefield. I know every inch of the place! So
                    prepare to lose, and then... DIE!!!"

                    "That'll be the day!" the JS Leader replied as he was released onto the battlefield.

                    What will happen to our hero? Can he prove himself once again and beat DethMan in a
                    no-holds-barred battle royale?? Is this the end of the JS Leader??? Stay tuned!

                    (Note to DethMan: This really couldn't happen in real life... but it's possible [yeah, right!])

                       posted 08-23-98 11:12 PM EST             delete delban

                    PART 3:

                    The JS Leader and DethMan stood facing each other, each with a fierce look on their face. At first,
                    our hero thought that if he was really as good as he thought he was, this match would be over and
                    done with in the blink of an eye... that is, until DethMan broke the silence.

                    "There's only one rule here... the first one to roast the other 15 times wins!"

                    "Good luck... you'll be needing it!" the JS Leader yelled from the other side of the field.

                    "Grrr..... BEGIN!"

                    And so, one of the greatest battles in the history of the galaxy was underway. The JS Leader had a
                    big lead on DethMan, jumping from platform to platform, trying to limit the amount of items that
                    DethMan could get. He was about at the top when he came upon a sign... 'Choose your Path....'

                    "Now let's see... was it the left or the right that had the power-ups?" the JS Leader asked himself.

                    Suddenly, out of nowhere, DethMan flew past him and flame-broiled our hero, burning him to a crisp!
                    "DethMan: 1... JS Leader: 0!" he gloated.

                    "This is FAR from over, Deth!" our hero replied, again jumping from platform to platform. He managed
                    to reach the top, grabbed the power-ups, located DethMan, and broasted him! "DethMan: 1... JS
                    Leader: 1!"

                    The fight went on for a good 45 minutes, each one roasting the other to ashes....

                    Until the score was tied, 14 all. "Whew! He really has gotten better! Last time, I shut him out!" the JS
                    Leader thought to himself. "I wonder if..."

                    "EAT LASER FIRE, JAGUAR LOSER!!!" came a shout from above. It was Deth, with a Laser Shield
                    protecting him. He aimed for the JS Leader and hit him, searing his chest. The blast alone took 4 of
                    his hearts away; the pain would be his undoing unless he did something fast!

                    Then, he remembered the carrots! He quickly grabbed one and scarfed it down. The energy given to
                    him was enough to head to the top of the arena, thereby grabbing the power ups. He looked down
                    and noticed that DethMan was still near the bottom... "Obviously waiting for me to come down," he
                    said as he loaded his gun with the spare power packs.

                    After putting the last pack in, the gun began to glow a blood red, and only the JS Leader knew what
                    that meant....

                    It meant that he had enough power to finish DethMan off once and for all! He started running down
                    the platforms at full speed, hardly stopping to catch his breath. Soon, he was at Deth's level. Our
                    hero knew that he had to get the shot off before the gun fizzled out on him, or else all would be lost.

                    Deth took another shot at the JS Leader with his Laser. Unfortunately for him, our hero anticipated
                    this and fired his gun at the exact same time. By some strange circumstance, the two shots
                    cancelled each other out!

                    DethMan stood there, dumbfounded... which proved to be his undoing. The JS Leader took a final
                    shot at him, and the blast punched right through his shield, and fried him to a crisp....

                    The JS Leader stood at the ashes of Deth's body, then uttered "I win again..." With that, another
                    portal opened in front of him, and he walked right through it.

                    2 B CONTINUED...

                    (Note to Dino: Thx for the compliment! I won a writing contest at my school last year because of my
                    imagination! 1st prize: $15.00!)

                    "WHO-OOO-OO-O-A!!!" the JS Leader yelled as he fell out the other side of the portal. He saw the
                    ground rushing up on him, and he knew that unless something happened fast, he would be nothing
                    but a grease spot. Then, as if out of nowhere, an airboard rushed up to meet him. He landed
                    squarely on it. Catching his breath from his battle with DethMan, the JS Leader looked around him to
                    see where he was. "I must be back on Diamondus!" he thought to himself.

                    He was indeed back on Diamondus, but not on that familiar Warzone where his first battle with
                    DethMan occurred around 10 years ago; and yet, it had the look of that Warzone (named Diamondus
                    Warzone 2... another custom level of mine! ). "Well..." he said to himself. "It looks like I've landed
                    right in..."

                    Suddenly, another stranger blasted him out of the skies. "NOBODY invades HiDdEn's Warzone
                    without paying the price!"

                    "HiDdEn??? Is that you?"

                    "Yes... who are you?! And what are you doing here?!!"

                    "It's me... the JS Leader, also known as Jazzy?"

                    "Jazzy??? Is it really you?"

                    "DUH! Who else would it be? DethMan in disguise?"

                    "Well then, what can I do for you?"

                    "I wanna go back to Lagunicus... the problem is, this sword doesn't seem to wanna let me! Can you

                    HiDdEn thought for a moment, then said in a slow, cautious voice "I'll help... IF you can beat me in a
                    treasure hunt! First one to find 200 gems wins! You in or out?"

                    "Oh, no... not again!" the JS Leader thought to himself....

                    2 B Continued....
  The TurtleSlayer posted 09-25-98 03:53 PM EST delete delban IP Okee, this is my first story, it's mostly about Methuselah. A bright, bouncy, eneregetic young rabbit walked into the tavern. Eyes turned towards him; the people in the tavern were used to weather-worn, old, and experienced rabbits walking into the bar. The rabbit went up to the counter and addressed the bumtious bartender, Bluez. " Turtle Soup, side order of fresh carrots, please." He glanced around the bar. Hmmm... Looked like they could do with a story. Back in the days of the CloneWars, I was called upon to do duty in the Rabbit Army. I wasn't a good fighter back then; I was only 13 years old. The rabbit army needed members badly. They would hire children as young as eight years. Well, the long and short of it was that I killed a few clones, was captured by a Henk, and was thrown into Devan's dungeon. You may think I didn't earn the 'privalege' of being a P.O.W. in Devan's dungeons, but I later learned that one of the Henks that I killed was, in fact, a general. I was stuck there for about two years. No windows. The floor was cold stone. It was wet from the rain that leaked into the dungeon. Skeletons littered the floor and rats abounded. I got a meal once a day. A small bowl of gruel. If I was lucky, I got a soggy carrot. But I also could eat rats. Though thier meat was tough and stringy and tasted like barbecue sauce, they were food. And catching the rats was good exercise for me. One day that started like any other I heard a scuffling in the corner. It was probably another rat. I sneaked up on it. No, it couldn't be a rat, it would have ran away from me in fear if it was. But its eyes glowed like a rat's. "Who goes there?" I cried. The next thing I knew I was knocked over and pinned to the floor. Paws gripped me around my throat. Definitely not a rat. "Who are you?" it hissed. "Tell me! Or I will kill you! "TurtleSlayer of the Rabbit army, a prisoner of war, Sir! Please don't kill me, Sir!" It loosened its grip on my throat. I breathed a little more easily. But it did not let me up. "What are you doing here? Where is this? Tell me!" "I was fighting in the CloneWars, Sir! A Henk took me as a P.O.W! I was thrown into Devan's dungeons, Sir!" "Quit it with the sirs. I don't know why, but I trust you," it growled. It let me up. 'It' was a mouse. "C'mon, Let's go." "Go? Go where?" I asked, dazed. I had been knocked to the floor by a mouse! "Shut up and follow me. We'll go the same way you came in." "But..." "I can handle a few of Devan's cronies," the mouse muttered. He was alredy walking up the stairs. "Follow me. And call me Methuselah." I followed. "But how did you get in in the first place?" I asked, curious about this mouse. "I was battling some phantoms in a medieval battlefield. I was cornered from all sides. There was a cave behind me; it was the only way out. So I went down it. And the phantoms blocked the entrance up behind me. Ne'er knew it would lead here." We had reached the top of the stairs. "Now, we wait." I knew that soon the guard would come to feed me. I assumed that was what we were waiting for. A SwartsenGuard; he would be hard to get by. I didn't reckon with Methuselah's fighting skills. I heard a key turn in the lock. As soon as the door opened Methuselah grabbed the Guard's Flaiiling right out of his hands. The SwartsenGuard didn't even know what hit him when Methuselah threw the Flaiiling at him. Turtle shell scattered across the floor. We raced down the stone passages, shooting turtles left and right. Methuselah must have been there before; he seemed to know the passages by the back of his hand. I didn't ask when and why he had been in Devan's castle before. Soon Methuselah told me that we were nearing the castle exit. The door would probably be well-guarded. Little did I know who we would meet. The door was right ahead. No one there. "Not so fast!" said a voice. Devan warped into existence right in front of us! "I don't let my P.O.W.s go that easily!" Devan said. Methuselah gave a low laugh. I looked at him in surprise. "Eat dirt, shell fiend!" Methuselah pulled out a shield from his backpack, stomped on it, and shot at Devan's foot with it. "Yooowowo! Ack! This is not over yet, Methuselah!" Devan hopped around on one foot, cursing. He jumped into a warp which opened in front of him and closed behind him. We ran away, fast enough so that no persuers could catch us. In any case, there was no persuit; the castle was in a frenzy because Devan Shell had hurt his foot. We traveled back to the capital. Methuselah told me he was going off adventuring, but he gave me fourteen-carrots gold, the system of currency on Carrotus.(Okay, okay, it's a bad, overused pun, but I think it's funny!) That was not the last time I saw Methuselah. I bought some land with the gold that that Methuselah had given me. I built my own house and farmed the land, growing carrots. I sold carrot juice, carrot fries, carrot icecream, and just plain fresh carrots. With the money I was able to pay for tuition at the Royal Academy of Rabbits on Carrotus. There I learned not only to do trigonometry, write novels, recite the names of the stars and the and the atomic structure of each element, but to battle. I was trained to fight and win all CTF games. I was one of the best warriors. I recieved my eight-year degree. I was a certified adventurer, mathamatician, scientist, and writer at the at the age of 23. I decided to go off slaying turtles, rescuing people in distress, and helping out the citizens of Carrotus. Those were the days. After slaying evil turtles I took their gold, using it to buy food. I gave any extra gold to rabbits that I met along the road. I spent two years being in the hero business. But one day I met my match. I had just battled with some helmets, so I was weak and in need of carrots. I happened upon a particularly nasty fiend that served Devan. Bolly, he was called. I killed him after a long battle, but he had brought me down to 1 last heart. If anything damaged me, I was dead. I had just stomped on Bolly to finish him off. I fell to the ground, and, whatta ya know, I landed on a helmet. I didn't die, luckily. I fell unconcious and awoke in a cube cell. It was well-lit; the light seemed to be coming out of nowhere. It was only about ten feet by ten feet by ten feet. No way out. I had my gun, my backback, my headband, and some whole wheat bread with me. Nothing else. Apparently, the helmets had taken all my carrots but missed the whole wheat bread and the gun. I stared at the whole wheat bread. An idea formed in my mind. I took the hole out of the whole wheat bread and stuck the hole to the wall. I scrambled out of the cell through the hole. I found myself in a tubelectric environment. I noticed several eyes floating nearby. I was hungry; I wasn't sure how long I had been in that cell. So I ate the eyes. This was a strange place...turtles and eyes abounded, so I had plenty to eat. No carrots could grow here, though. The floor was a strange purple color. The entire region was bathed in a strange purple light. On the walls, there were displays showing different numbers and letters. I guessed that they were some past experiment here. The place seemed abandoned, except for the turtles and eyes, one of which I captured and questined. It told me that it owed no allegiance to Devan or the Queen of Carrotus. It preyed upon other eyes, turtles, and anyone who was passing by. It was an eye eat eye eat turtle ecosystem. Soon I happened upon a sign. It pointed to the left and said "Carrotus this way." I knew not to trust signs in places like this; I went to the right. The Tubelectric world seemed to be getting more like Carrotus now. Strange, metallic grass grew on the floor, and crude imitations of carrots sprouted up from the gound. The carrots were like the grass; metallic. Not good for eating. At last! I thought to myself as I saw some real, genuine dirt. And the carrots were living here! I saw an exit out of the tubelectric world ahead of me. And of course it was guarded by a swarm of bees and a plethora of rats. And what did I see in a cage near the exit? Methuselah! That was what the bees and rats were guarding I pulled out my gun and flamed a few bees and rats. More bees came out of the nests, however. This was useless. I tossed my gun to Methuselah. "Catch!" Methuselah caught the gun and flamed the bars of the cage. They melted like butter under the flamethrower's fire. We made a break for the the exit. "Phew! Close one!" Methuselah said. "Now we've got to kill Devan!" "What? Why? What's been going on?" "Where've you been? Devan's come up with another scheme to conquer Carrotus. He's put subliminal messages in every Carrotus broadcast on t.v. and radio. Every bunny on Carrotus is a servant of Devan!" I must have been in that cell for longer than I thought. "Shoot. That's bad. What about you?" "I was away at the time. So I didn't hear the broadcast. We are the only rabbits that didn't hear it." "Great. Let's go get Devan. Where is he?" "He's taken up residence in the Queen's palace. The Queen is his servant. In fact, he's going to make Eva Earlong his wife!" "Then we had better hurry. Let's go get him," I said. It wasn't long to the royal palace. When we got there, Methuselah called "Show your face, Devan! You have caused your own undoing!" "Bwahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" Devan's maniacal laughter echoed over the palace grounds. "I will enjoy killing you myself!!!" Devan flickered into being right in front of us. "Allow me to choose a setting more to my liking," Devan said, grinning with his toothless mouth. The three of us warped to CoolBeach, a world that my good friend Quinn had built. As soon as we warped there, I fired a volley of homing missles at him. I remembered my training. Jump, shoot, shoot, jump, shoot. Kick, shoot, shoot. Shoot, shoot, dodge, jump, shoot. Devan was almost dead. I didn't have anymore weapons except a few more homing missles. I fired the last few at Devan, killing him. But it wasn't over yet. As Devan morphed into a dragon, I noticed Methuselah was standing strangely still. He hadn't fired any shots at Devan. His eyes were gleaming and turning red. I wondered if he was okay. Devan had changed into a dragon. I had no weapons. I jumped up higher than him and stomped. There was a satisfying crunch as my feet connected with Devan's skull. Devan flew higher. He wasn't going to let me do that again. I fired a few shots up at him with my blaster, but that wasn't going to do any good. I looked at Methuselah again. His eyes were blood-red. He suddenly took a flying leap at Devan's throat. His teeth pierced through the dragon's scales as if they were made of cheese. Devan roared and attempted to shake Methuselah off, but it was useless. Black Blood oozed fom Devan's throat. Suddenly, a fireball hit me. My last thought was that Devan's blood looked sort of like silly-putty, the way it oozed. When I woke up the sun was just setting. The fireball had broken a few of my ribs and my leg. I didn't see Methuselah anywhere. I looked at the lifeless form of the dragon. I noticed a lump under its neck. With superrabbit strength, I managed to lift up part of the dragon. Methuselah lay there. I checked his pulse. None. He wasn't breathing. Methuselah was dead. Carrotus was freed. Methuselah was dead. Devan had been vanquished. Methuselah was dead. I crawled off into the sunset, away from the dead bodies of Devan and Methuselah. This is not necessarily the end. Nothing is necessarily the end. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The truth was out there Buster knew it. Was he really a Snowbunny? Did he come from a planet other than carrotus? Where was his family? Buster didn't remember much about his past. Only that he had once been a member of the Carrotus Alliance of Hunters. Yet there were questions to be asked about that too Why did no one know about the Alliance? It was no secret operation. They had run missions for both turtles and bunnies alike. The event that brought the Alliance down was not the sort of thing one would forget unless it never happened. Buster had asked everyone at the WarTavern for help, but it was to no avail. Buster felt alone, an outcast. His past was a mystery, and he was only now beginning to see that. Buster had rented an old star ship from Funky Al's Shipyards and Storage and was now flying over the Aquasonia system. Perhaps, maybe, the mages of Aquasonia would hold his answer He could only hope. Tale's from the WarTavern Part II _____________________________________________ Legends of Snowbunnys _____________________________________________ Buster landed softly on the green grass of Aquasonia. The beauty that abounded on this fair planet amazed him, never having seen it before. The soft grass, the colorful flowers, the tall, majestic trees no wonder the mage's loved it so. He walked down a small dirt path through the trees, looking for someone who could help him. Ahead he spied a bunny walking down the path toward him. Buster hurried ahead and stopped the bunny. "Pardon me, but would you happen to know where I could find Jazz 1?" "Sure. She would be at the East Reach, more towards the sea than Mage's Bend. Either that, or the wizard's hall, teaching her class. That's around the West Reach." After taking down directions, Buster walked off to find Jazz 1, a well known mage. Perhaps she could answer his questions. Buster walked down the path to the East Reach, when, what luck! There was Jazz 1 coming his way! Buster ran up and spoke to her. "Jazz 1, I must talk with you!" "Yeah? About what?" "I think I'm a Snowbunny!" "Whoa, really? You haven't mentioned this to anyone else, have you?" "No." "Good. Follow me." Jazz 1 looked around, and, deciding it was clear, hurried Buster toward a small cave alongside the beach. After she and Buster had seated themselves, Jazz 1 began to talk. "Do you know what a Snowbunny is?" "Uh, a bunny that lives in very cold places?." "Snowbunnies used to live on a planet called Winterus, but that planet was taken over by hostile forces long ago. Legend has it that all the Snowbunnies where enslaved, save for one." "One?" "Yes. According to legend, one Snowbunny would not be caught. This one would live on other worlds, till the time came when he would be able to free the others from their captors." Buster began to get nervous. What was this she was telling him? Could he be this bunny who would lead his kind to freedom? The very thought sent chills up his spine. "Uh, so what does this have to do with me?" "Buster, if you are a true Snowbunny, you are the only one who is free. That would make you the bunny of the legend!" "Okay, heheh, now you're scaring me " "Me too." "So, how do I find out if I really am a Snowbunny? I mean, that is what I came here for." Jazz 1 thought for a minute. "Hmm I know." Jazz 1 reached over and grabbed one of Busters hairs, and gave it a yank. "OW!" "Okay, let me look at this in the light." Jazz 1 stepped outside the cave, and began to study the hair by the light of the bright sun. Jazz 1 returned after a few minutes, and sat down. "Buster " "Yeah? What?" "Buster, you ARE a Snowbunny." Buster almost fell out of his seat. He would have, in fact, except that he was sitting on the ground at the time. Instead he simply leaned back stunned. "Uh, you're kidding me, right?" "Wrong." "Ah rats." "Buster, you realize what this means, don't you?" "It means I'm extra resistant to cold weather?" "No. Well, yes, but that's not all. It means YOU must free the Snowbunnies!" "Now, wait a minute, this is getting weird. If there is a whole planet of enslaved Snowbunnies out there, how come no one has ever tried to free them? Don't tell me they wrote it off as "oh, there's this other Snowbunny out there who's supposed to do that". That doesn't make any sense." "Well, there IS a whole planet of Snowbunnies out there. If there weren't, nobody would even know about them to speak of them. After all, what gave you the idea you may be one, if they don't exist?" "But I've SEEN Snowbunnies before!" "No, you've seen relatives of Snowbunnies. No one in this time has ever seen a full blooded Snowbunny save those who have seen you." "But but if no one has ever seen one, how do you know I'm one?" "The legend has it that the hairs of a Snowbunny are very dense, and very cold resistant. Tell me, when was the last time you got really cold?" "I don't think I ever have " Jazz 1 held up the hair she had pulled from Buster's coat. "If this isn't the hair of a Snowbunny, then I'm not a mage." Jazz 1 whipped out her magic pencil. "And you know I am." Buster still could hardly believe it. A Snowbunny? Him? Was he really the stuff of legends? He'd need to think this over "I will take it from here Buster." Jazz 1 told him. "Sure thing," he replied. Anyone knows a snowbunny isn't an average bunny. With cold-resistant fur and a reputation to be cute and cuddly, unlike jackrabbits. Buster thought about this. His thoughts became a blur, and he entered a flashback. His mother was talking to him, telling him to put his winter coat of fur on. "You put that fur coat of yours on right now, you got that Buster?" his mother had yelled. He shook his head, and remembered something. Could Snowbunnies fight? He then went back to his flashback.. It was in the woods, and he was going out to pick some carrots. He heard a noise in the bushes, and soon enough there was a fox attacking another bunny. He was helpless to the fox, and ran home as fast as his little snowbunny legs could carry him. He exited the flashback. "Wait a minute here, if snowbunnys can't fight, then what's with the gun and the abilities?" he asked aloud. "Buster, remember, you were but a child. You hadn't developed skills yet. Think on," Jazz 1 commanded. "How'd you know what I was thinking?" he asked her in puzzlement. "That is not your concern now. If you are to find your past, you must somehow be in the past," she explained. Buster lurked drearily into the past again, it had been a long day, and he needed a nap soon. He saw himself lying under a tree, about 10 years old at the time. All of a sudden, this bright light flashed over his head, and he was lost in the middle of nowhere. It took him a whole year to get out, and he became very much rough and strong. He then found a gun on the ground, not knowing what it was. "Hmm, wonder what this doohicky does..." It shot out a bullet, and after the bullet came out, his name appeared on the gun. It was not the name he was used to, Buster, but a new name. "Let me see, this says Aaa, Aaad, Adnar... Adnarel! What is that supposed to mean?" Then the words "Name of Owner" appeared on the gun. "Gosh, is that MY name?" He picked it up again, and that was the end of the dream sequence. "What does that mean Jazz 1? What is that name for?" "Later, now we must rest." "But I NEED to know!" "Be patient young one, the time will come." The two woke up, and Jazz 1 waved her hand to fix her hair and wake Buster up. "But MOOOOOOOOOOM! It's a Saturday!" "Wake up you idiot, it's Jazz 1!" "Oh, sorry, who is Adnarel?" "You." "But how could it be me? My name is Buster!" "No it isn't. Your real name is Adnarel. It means something like "the blessing" in Carrotusian. You see, your father was alive when Winterus, and he refused to be caught. He then moved to Xhmasius, and you were born there. It then was invaded by Devan Shell, yet he was not yet heard of. You were the only rabbit of your family to escape, and you were meant to bring the snowbunnies out of the enslaved land." "So I must go save them now?" "Yes, if possible. Take this pendant with you. It was once yours. Don't ask me how I got it." And Buster left the room, and so Jazz 1 disappeared to reappear by the sea. Buster would not be alone, she would follow his every step. Tale's from the WarTavern part III _____________________________________________ The Search for Truth _____________________________________________ Adnarel knew he would have to find Winterus. Something deep inside of him compelled him too. In one day he had discovered more about himself than he ever knew before. Now he had to begin a new life. His old one would no longer do. Somewhere out there was a planet of bunnies his family enslaved by some evil force. He had to save them, but how? Well, first he knew he would have to find Winterus a very grave problem indeed, since no one seemed to know anything about it. Buster flew to Station Z-Alpha, an intergalactic library. There he looked through the station's database for any reference to Snowbunnies He found one single match. An old leather bound book in the lower storage facilities may hold the answers. Traveling to the dark, lower corridors of the station, he found Level 780 Storage Block V. This was his chance perhaps his only hope. Finding the book amongst the thousands piled upon dusty old shelves was no easy task, but soon enough he found himself staring at the gold print upon the leather cover. It read "Legends and Myths of the Lost Days of Carrotus". Opening the book, he began to read. After hours of reading, he had yet to discover a single world related to Snowbunnies but then, what's this? A whole chapter named "Legend of Winterus"! This was it! This was what he had been waiting for! He began to read. It was a long chapter, and he read for two hours straight. "So that's it " Tale's from the WarTavern Part IIII _____________________________________________ The Long Trip Home _____________________________________________ Adnarel struggled with the controls of his spacecraft. The "Old Crow" as it was called, was not a really reliable ship to say the least. Still, it had been cheap to rent, and so long as it got him where he was going, that was all that mattered. His destination was Winterus. He discovered its position in the book that he found on the Z-Alpha. In fact, he had learned a lot from that book, such as why the Snowbunnies had been a prime target for their taskmasters Snowbunnies, while they are not physically weak, are very peaceful. They wouldn't fight back. According to legend, however, the bunny that would free them would be their "champion", a fighter. Perhaps this had something to do with his experience as a young bunny, with the strange light and the cavern he was trapped within the struggle to free himself may have placed within him an instinct to remain free, and to fight for that freedom or the freedom of others. He still had many questions, but he felt the answers to these could only lie within Winterus, with his kin. Adnarel programmed the co-ordinates into the ship's main computer and flipped his seat into the "down" position. After flipping his inter-stellar band radio to a soft jazz station, he settled back for a long trip. Tale's from the WarTavern Part V _____________________________________________ An Unexpected Visitor _____________________________________________ The loud, obnoxious screaming of the ship's warning siren awakened Adnarel. "What now?" he thought. Adnarel was still 5 light-years away from Winterus, and there wasn't supposed to be anything around. At least, that's what the book said. Adnarel checked his short-range scanners for anything in his path that would have triggered the alarm. Slowly an image appeared in the small, worn view-screen. A small ship was approaching him from the rear. Adnarel tried to identify the ship, but failed. Suddenly, three bursts of bright green energy exploded in succession over the cockpit of his ship. He was being attacked! Adnarel knew the Old Crow couldn't possibly last long in a dogfight. The ship was old, and not equipped for interstellar combat. Adnarel wasn't even sure if the ship's Class-C plasma lasers worked. Things looked bad, but standing by while another ship tore him apart looked even worse. Adnarel grabbed the throttle and prepared to do battle. Arming his plasma lasers, he turned to face his foe. Three more bursts of green energy exploded, this time closer. The shock wave from the third blast caused minor damage to his shield structure. Adnarel hung on and prayed to God for help. Adnarel scanned the stars for his foe... There it was. A small gray craft heading his way. He took aim and prepared to fire The Old Crow lurched back with the release of energy from its plasma lasers. Two brilliant red beams of plasma energy blasted through space towards the pursuing ship. Two small explosions confirmed the direct hit. Three bolts of green energy confirmed the fury of the target. This time, all three bolts scored a direct hit on the Old Crow. Adnarel struggled to maintain control the craft, which was pulling this way and that with the force of the impacts. Three more bolts blazed by, two barely missing the Old Crow, the other scoring a hit just off the cockpit. Warning sirens screamed throughout the ship and tiny red lights began to blink on his control panel. He had lost his shields. Adnarel knew that unless he could pull off something brilliant, he was doomed. Quickly, Adnarel turned off the Old Crow's safety features, life support, and engine power. The other ship, thinking he had disabled the Old Crow came in for a closer look. Adnarel gripped the weapon control stick tightly this may be his only chance The gray ship flew slowly over the Old Crow observing the damage he had done. As he passed over the front Adnarel squeezed the trigger, and his ship let loose a powerful salvo of red plasma energy, hitting the gray ship at point blank range. The gray ship went spinning away from the Old Crow, out of control. Adnarel re-activated the power to his craft and flew after the wildly spinning ship. Two red blasts and one brilliant explosion later, it was all over. Adnarel scanned the remains of the ship, but there wasn't much left. Setting his computer once again for Winterus, he took of, wondering what all that had been about To be continued Tale's from the WarTavern Part VI _____________________________________________ Winterus _____________________________________________ Adnarel approached the planet Winterus. "It was bigger then he had thought, and quite beautiful. The planet was bathed in the twilight light of the dim sun. At least 75% of the planet was covered in a shimmering purple ocean, with white continents peeking up here and there. "Wow, so that's where I come from." Adnarel was taken aback by the sight before him. What a beautiful planet it was! How could such a planet go unnoticed? Adnarel began to run long-range surface scans of the planet, looking for a suitable place to land. Normally, he would have looked for a spaceport and landed there, but if the legends where right, this beautiful planet would be anything but friendly. Adnarel programmed the landing co-ordinance into he ship's main computer and strapped himself in. It could be a bumpy ride. _____________________________________________ Meanwhile, down on the surface, a creature of darkness brought news of a small craft to his lord _____________________________________________ Little did he know, Jazz 1 watched his every move, and kept good attention to what he was doing. She wasn't just about to let him die in all this confusion. Little did he know that Jazz 1 wasn't on Aquasonia anymore. She was right there with him, side by side they walked. But in her transparent form, no one could see her. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Bluez posted 09-24-98 06:00 PM EST delete delban IP "Well... I suppose none of you are wondering what I have to say. I remember what my psychiatrist said when he thought I wasn't listenning: 'Now here's a guy that's never angry, but often violent. What do you make of that?' For one thing, he's the psychiatrist, he oughtta know. For another thing, I have decided to reveal the origin of my bizarre tendencies..." The lights dim to practically nothing, and Bluez maintains his devilish glare with a smirk for a mouth. "It all started when I was a little bunny. As most bunnies my age, I went to day-care," the dark bunny quickly faces a glares at someone who seemed he was about to make a comment, silencing him before he could open his mouth,"I wasn't exactly the most popular person there, but everyone liked me... or rather liked to make a punching bag of me. This wouldn't have been as bad if they hadn't seen my brother as anything more than a relative of mine who deserved the same fate as I. They didn't think of the long-term effects it would have on me. "Eventually, my parents decided I'd outgrown day-care, and school wasn't much different. Remember the guy that nobody likes? That was me. To this day, I still don't know what I could have done to make them hate me, but it's a mistake I don't intend for them to make again. "After the first couple of grades, to fourth, half-way through, I was moved to Tropicarrot, and as of course, I was hated there, too. 'Oh, an outsider! He must be DIFFERENT.' I remember I missed my cousin Jazz, and his funny little brother most. "As soon as that year was over with, we moved back close to the palace, but not quite in the same range as to go to the same school as prior to Tropicarrot. As was customarily habit for me, I was rather quiet, making sure not to upset anyone into hating me again. And wouldn't you know it, I made a couple of friends anyway. One was a Lizard by the same name, just pronounced differently, and the other was a black Rat. We couldn't even pronounce his name, being as Rat names usually consist of chattering, so we called him Rat. "Neither of them were much hated, though they were outcasted being not native to Carrotus. "Now, I know what you're thinking: 'How long is this story going to be!?', but I'm going to answer the other question: 'What does this have to do with War Storiez?' "Well, I'm leading up to that. Back to the story... "I'm a Virgo as at least Vigilanty and I know, and being a Virgo I was always the deep thinker: 'Why DID they all hate me? I haven't changed as far as I know, and here I have friends... Obviously there are a lot more evil people than I was lead to believe by my parents. So obviously, being just as malicious to them would teach them a lesson, so long as I never converted to their alignment.' It made sense to me, and it still does, dangit. And since then, life's been so much better to me, so I had nothing to complain about. Contentment permiated from inside me, and a vigilant air always had me keeping myself in check. And that's how I became the happy, violent little rabbit that I am today. "But that isn't all. To keep school at my pace, I payed little attention, and was forced to figure things out on my own. I made out just fine, and to pass the time during my attention-less period, I'd often just think about stuff, coming up with concepts and philosophies for things I never thought too deeply into before. "I'm convinced that that's how I got my tactical, and tedious artistic abilities. I always liked complex stuff, and finding out things on my own was much easier than just memorizing it. "I've never lost a Capture game, though I've lost a couple of battle games, since my staying alive had little to do with who won. Things are strange, but don't let that stop you from living with it. Though everyone's out to get you, you're out to get them, too. "That's pretty much all the background story I plan on giving at the moment. I've got plenty of war stories dying to be told, but right now I'm out to go make some more." "Be good." -Bluez Bluez posted 09-24-98 09:41 PM EST delete delban IP Setting: Diamondus Warzone. Time: A couple of months ago. A dark blue rabbit enters a Capture the Flag-zone near the end of the game, 9-0, blue in the lead. And of course, Bluez was pitted against the winners. Three blue, three red, including himself, he dashed for the blue flag as quickly as he could. A red team-mate eventually roasted the blue flag-holder where Bluez immediately turned the flag in to his home base. Nine to go. The seemingly idle red player left at the second capture, making it three blue to two red. "Aww, one less red," apparently by the lack of response, these rabbits weren't much for conversation. Another blue roasted by the dextrous blue bunny to the flag-holder, leaving the home base open for capture again. Blue flag returned to home base. Seven to go. Same circumstances lasting for five more goes, leaving it 9-7. By then, a blue had already left; two on two, the red team-mate was finally roasted, where a few seconds later Bluez himself was roasted by an unseen missle. As soon as he could, he dashed straight for the blue flag before the opposing flag-holder could reach it. And of course, the flag-holder was already there... the opposing force had somehow got caught up in the spring just below his base, and the dextrous bunny in red, quickly as he could, rushed in, got hit by a missle, and rushed back out. As was natural, knowing that all other blues were not already in the famous carrot-cage, Bluez headed directly for the warp to find the carrot missing. Not being one to stick around and get shot, he bolted around the screen, every so often checking the cage for a carrot. Before this, of course, he ran right into the blue flag-holder, who somehow only took one hit and was roasted. Way to go, team-mate. Another point, and another capture each, 9-8. Two more, and Bluez would know for sure how well he could handle the grand sport known as Capture the Flag. Shortly after the capture, the blue flag-holder was roasted again by the red, nameless team-mate. Another point, another capture each, this time the nameless team-mate had the opposing flag, where a minute after capture was roasted. 9-9, if Bluez didn't get this, he might as well consider it ALMOST good enough. Unfortunately for himself, he was dang-neared the furthest point away from the blue flag. Despite this draw-back, he went as quickly as his agile little legs would take him. No one was there! He took the enemy flag and despite celebrating a half-victory, ran immediately out to seek the blue flag-holder. Roasted. Back to home base, the team-mate awaiting the victory run at the finish line... A glimpse of the blue team-mate at the bottom of the screen didn't do much for them as the final flag was returned to the base, making the red team the winners. By the time Chemical Warfare was finished loading, the blue team was also finished, leaving the game with only two red players, one of which was still not up for conversation. With nothing more to do there, Bluez left, a seemingly empty victory, except for the morale upgrade for Captures to come. -Bluez Bluez posted 09-27-98 10:08 AM EST delete delban IP I am unloved. he he ha ha ha. There he was, alone in his quarters of the battle ship. It was heard that the princess of Carrotus was captured by a fellow by the name Devan Shell, a psycho Turtle bent on ruining the lives of the civilians of the rabbit world. A break away from the bridge was like missing a movie to go to the bathroom. You miss all the action, and have to rely on someone's story when you get back. "All I need now is a--" RED ALERT! All hands to battle stations! Repeat! RED ALERT! All hands to battle stations! "Yes!" the dark bunny headed off to his craft, and sat in the cockpit in waiting for his signal to go. A green button labelled 'Go' flashed at Bluez, and he pounded it in. The screeching hum of the engines started, and the battleship left behind him as he went out to roast some Charlies. Turtle after turtle dropped from the field of battle, until there was one left who decided it was time to make a get-away. "Leave a battle just because you're outnumbered? I don't think I'll ever understand Turtles," Bluez remarked as he headed towards the remaining turtle to finish him off. "Three... two... one--" "Hold your fire!" this from the blasting speaker in Bluez's headset. "We'll try disabling his ship and see what we can get out of him." The trigger-happy bunny merged to the right a bit to allow the disabling beam to get through. A blue beam wizzed right by his viewscreen, bounced off the Turtle's ship and hit Bluez's directly in the engine. At least there was no more screaching ambience. His ship was dead, except for the innertia keeping him headed in the direction of Diamondus. "Just great. I win a battle and get shot down by my own side." "It seems the Turtle's ship came equipped with an anti-disabling shield of some sort. We're obviously dealing with a mechanical genius. You may fire at will." Upon rigorous training, the rabbits did not comment on 'Will' being a common name and shot the rest of the Turtle's ship down. "Good work. Come on in, you've all earned yourselves a cold Carrot Juice. "But what about Bluez?" this from the Prince-to-be, Jazz Jackrabbit, whom everyone knew played a big role in the return of the Princess Eva Earlong. They were to be wed, and now she has been taken away from him. If anyone was going to get the Princess, he was going to be the first to know. "A casualty, we get'em all the time." "But he could still be alive down there!" "Sargeant Jackrabbit, that is a CASUALTY. There's no chance he could have survived a crash like that." "I've lost my one true love, I'm not losing my cousin, too," Jazz flew off to Diamondus to retrieve his cousin, and probably information on the where-abouts of Devan Shell, since the planet was populated entirely of Turtles and Bees, one of which surely knew where the Princess was. "Sargeant!" No response. "Alright, everyone else head to base. We'll get to the bottom of this kidnapping with or without the groom." Everyone returned without verbal question. -Bluez "In some small way, I feel as though I've aided in the return of Princess Earlong. Three days after that incident came the report of that very ship's destruction. Apparently fate would have my cousin and myself kept alive for a while longer. "There's a bit of story before that concerning our psycho friend Spaz... You see, The queen had the impression that Jazz 'let' the Princess get kidnapped. But Jazz assured her that he could return her just as easily as she'd left. To ensure this, the queen ordered that a relative of his be put in prison until such time as Jazz returned hers. "At the time, Jazz and Spaz looked a lot alike aside from coloration, and Spaz wasn't quite as... 'crazy' as he is, now. "Well, if you don't know about the story of Jazz's adventures, then you've probably been sleeping during history classes (of which I don't blame you, but pick a more appropriate story to sleep to). "By the time Jazz returned with the Princess, Spaz wasn't quite as healthy as he had once been. Not only was he practically bone-dry from the food (or lack of food) they'd fed him, but... he wasn't quite the same rabbit... mentally. "He kept this crazed look in his eyes, and chanted unintelligable phrases. It wasn't until his elder brother smacked him back into our plain of existance that he remembered who he was. "A day later, as the wedding was proceeding from where it left off from before, a stealthy turtle dressed in black pajamas took the huge diamond from the ring Jazz had planned on giving the Princess as a signature of devotion in marriage. "To refresh you on the fact that my cousin is always alert, even in a tux, the turtle didn't exactly make a clean get-away. It was from the foot of Jazz Jackrabbit that had kicked the turtle in black down, though briefly, was enough to knock a datapad out of his pocket. "As everyone else gaped in awe and wonder as to the situation, and the turtle escaped, Jazz had enough time to read the datapad to find out what the turtle had in store for Jazz before the queen could yell 'Cease him!' "As Jazz sat in his cell, he had enough time to ponder the wording on the datapad confiscated from him. If his guess was right, Devan intended to invade the past to a time he couldn't stop him. To destroy his parents... In which case, he would never have saved the princess, and Devan would likely be ruling the universe as he had planned. "Of course, Spaz owed Jazz a favor for rescuing him from the dungeon, so his younger brother returned it by breaking him out of the cell since it wasn't possible to get on the queen's good side (did she even have one?) in this case. "Jazz filled Spaz in on the situation, and now Spaz had a role to play. Not only were they supposed to retrieve the diamond to allow Jazz to attempt marrying the princess again, but they had to do it before Devan could go back and corrupt their history into their own non-existance. "And that is the story so far as I've heard. As for me, I was still stuck on Diamondus, avoiding enemies as much as possible until I was later discovered and brought back home in time for the wedding. -Bluez Bluez looks around for someone with a Star Wars book. "Hmmph, and here all this time I thought my stuff was original. I wonder why I only have two fans... "Matters little, I'll do my best to appeal to the morale of my two greatest and only 'listenners'." The dark bunny cracks his knuckles and quickly points his gun right behind him to shoot at nothing. "Sorry, just a habit." After a couple of seconds of settling slightly, Bluez begins his next story: "Ever wonder about the shades? What could be behind them? What are they hiding? Well, don't, it will only cause you trouble to try to find out. Better to just hear it from the source. "It all started back in Tubelectric a couple of days after Jazz's big day. I was running around roasting whatever moved, when I saw a pair of those freaky eyes. I always marvelled at what they were, how they stayed together, and what made them float. But I never let that get in the way of blasting the curious look off their... existance. "Most of us don't know this, because most of us haven't been too deep into that place, but there's more to Tubelectric than what's let on. Those eyes aren't just studying you, they have more on the minds they don't have than that. Slowly they're deteriorating the epidermal layer of anything with skin. Having dark fur doesn't help to reflect the light any, and the music is the only thing that makes up for the heat they give off." Some white rabbit in the distance cheers as he has won a supposedly unbeatable arcade game. A crowd of people leave the dark rabbit to congratulate the winner instead of becoming bored with a tale from an 'old' battle hero. "Hmm... Anyway, have you ever tried looking a sparky right in the eyes? Stings worse than kissing a porkupine (shut-up, I wouldn't know), and no matter how good you are, don't play a staring game with one of'em. Ten seconds of straight voltage in the eyes of one of those things will give you enough shock to light your grandma up just by lookin' at'er. "And after twenty seconds, my sight has never been better... Actually, it's too good. Imagine seeing things as though every molecule had it's own separate color. That's kinda what I've been through. It's pretty for a second, but it gets dull real quick." The dark bunny pauses his story to sniff his drink for poison. There is apparently none, so he throws it away. "You can never be too careful... "As I was saying, the medic's only treatment was simple: Wear shades for the rest of your life. Yeah, real simple. But it does get a few of the ladies... "After that I adapted a sense for the dark, it seemed there were more colors of black than most would have noticed before. "I figure I got the dark fur from my brain trickin' my hormones into thinking it was always dark out so my fur should be just as well so. I kinda like adapting to the night." A burly rabbit bursts into the in, yelling,"Give me a mug of the strongest stuff in the house!" "Sorry, bub, I'm not for sale," came Bluez's calm reply. "I hate wise guys,"the new-comer roared, enough to gain the attention of the crowd of rabbits in the arcade area,"Perhaps you would like to match your wits with my muscles, eh?" "Muscles? I think you left something at home." The burly rabbit growled and lunged towards the dark blue bunny only to land on the chair he had once been sitting in. "Yes I would like to match my wits against your 'muscles',"Bluez rhetorically responded,"it's funny when I win." The dark bunny stepped on the rabbit's head as he walked to behind the bar. "I think that's enough for me. If anyone else wants to add anything feel free to do so." The dark blue bunny explodes. -Bluez Jazz 1 posted 10-02-98 04:57 PM EST delete delban IP "Speaking of shades, I have my own thing I always wore. It was this mask. In fact, I still wear it, but it's mostly transparent exept for the part I need to hide.. which is what I am gonna tell you about." "You see, I wasn't always a mage. In fact, I used to be the smallest and best warrior around. Poor Devan, mistaked me for Eva and I punched him out. At the time we looked like twins (Eva and I that is). Never really was too good with the gun, but the knuckles and kicks were strong. Ok, let's get to the point." She pauses to see a few rabbits inside the small cave in which she lives. Taking a glass of a strange drink in her hand, she drinks some and passes it around. Apparently, it was too strong for a few and they turned red. But not Jazz 1, Buster, and some other rabbits in the corner listening intentivley. They had the gut of a jackrabbit, and I guess they should, all but Matthias of course. And maybe Dean and Scotty were different from the rest, but I don't need to say all that to you, you know that much. "Long time ago, me was just a lil' thang. I was tough as they gotta and as rough as you may not have thoughtta. You see, I was leading Jazz through Diamondus when I heard this sound. But I marched on. When I got to Tubelectric, I went my own way. And then, this army of something I don't know hit me, and I fought em off. But one of em, they was HUGE! The only thing ever known to be taller than me! It tackled me and we fought for hours. Finally, I kicked it in the shin and it went off, crying! I figured out I had a big bruise on my head, and felt it. It was ok, but I would be scarred for life. And I knew at once Devan was behind this, and knew he would know me by my scar. So to aviod ever having to fight, I hid my scar with a mask. But there WAS another reason..." "Scotty!! Don't lean over so! You might just fall over the edge of the cliff!" "I'm all right, I just was looking at that maple down there. Mighty tasty those seeds would be..." "Ok, well, the reason was, well, I wasn't the only rabbit there. There was another rabbit. And boy, was he nice to me. But still, he said that if he ever saw me again, I might be in trouble 'cause his brother worked for Devan, and his brother was all tattle-like. So now, I wear this mask, and maybe you might like to see the scar." Jazz 1 takes off her mask, and one of the bunnys shouts, "My brother is near!" and no one knows who that rabbit was, or why he was so care-taking of me. The dark blue bunny does the hokey pokey and he turns himself about to face Jazz 1. "I'm confused, now. I didn't know Eva had a clone, let alone one named Jazz. I think I missed something." "Unless you were that cover-up that Jazz briefly told me about..." -Bluez -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Jazz 1 posted 10-02-98 05:46 PM EST delete delban IP The War Tavern hushed. All but Steven were wondering what kind of rabbit this was, and why he came. And why it was so tall! It was nearly taller than the cavern itself! "I bet that's a newbie!" Exterminator screamed loudly in no particular direction. As the figure stepped out of the shadows, they saw the rabbit's clothes, which were highly unusual. The figure wore a tan cloth wrapped around its body, like a cloak. It wore sort of a hat, what you might call a piece of cloth kept on by a band. Its sandals were tan, and they were the kind you would wear in the desert. "Ah, get with it, you should talk," Merlin yelled at Exterminator. The figure finally spoke, speaking to the bartender with a rough yet muffled voice. "Bartender, a Dean twist with extra pepper and my own personal blend of salsa and peppers. No alcohol, but lotta carrots." "What's your own personal blend?" "Hey isn't that " Steven started to say. "Steven, please, just let them hear my story." "Ok, well, I already know this," Steven said with superiority, the first time he ever really felt that way. "Not so fast, this isn't my normal side Steven." "I didn't think you had one " he mumbled. "Ok, now I must say that I am not really a newbie, as Exterminator proposed I was. Actually, I was here before some of you, but mostly a middle person. But that's not why I am here. I'm here to tell you something no one knows about me. Not about early battles, but how I became a warrior, or my origin. Now listen up, and I'll tell you a tale of long ago." The figure took a sip of the carrot mix, and cleared its throat. "Ok, well to tell you the truth, I wasn't always a jackrabbit " The whole tavern gasps, and he hushes the tavern to tell the rest. Of course, they all wonder what the heck is going on with a rabbit in the tavern that wasn't always a rabbit. "You see, I used to be a human, not half-human, but complete human. My name was and still is as a human unknown to few, but I'm sure most of you are wondering who I am right now." "You know, that rabbit's very good at guessing games, he's right! I have no idea whom or WHAT that is!" Rocky said, the whole tavern laughing at this remark. "Hehe, well, Rocky, that part's gonna come, but not quite yet." "Ok, now back to the main stuff. You see, I had this weird thing where my nose twitched whenever I thought or heard something weird. I guess that sort of contributed to it. But still, I didn't know how very intelligent rabbits really were. I just sort of thought they were just fuzzy creatures that hopped around and made nice Easter costumes." The whole tavern gasped, and the strange rabbit continued. "Well, the reason I was born fully human was my mother was human, my father was jackrabbit. He never showed himself as a jackrabbit, for when I saw him, he wore a human costume. As I got older, I started to change. It was weird. My arms started to get a little blue. Then I got fuzz everywhere. And then, the fuzz turned blue, and I got paws. Then, my face shifted, and I was a jackrabbit. And so, my father revealed himself, and I knew why I looked so weird! We moved back to Aquasonia, where I was originally born. And after a while I forgot I was a jackrabbit, and shifted to human form almost permanently. Then, when Jazz came along for the second time, I nearly jumped out of my skin, or fur at the time, when I shifted to a jackrabbit. But no one knows why I know so much about Buster's past. I guess I should tell you." "Ok, ok, get to the point!" DDP said, and started running all over the walls. "Well, I can't really, but here's my identity." The figure took off the loose clothes, and there were some human-like ones underneath. She then shifted to rabbit form, growing much taller, and turning blue. It was Jazz 1! "Now that you know, I had best get going " And she looked as though she was going to leap, but then underhanded it and turned into a ball of blue flame that was about the size of her mass. And then, all was calm, and she disappeared into nothingness. "Now all we need to know is why she's so tall!" spoke a member from the back of the room. Bluez posted 10-03-98 09:47 AM EST delete delban IP Bluez's shades sparkle with the flames as they go,"Fire just looks better when it's big."

As a lone figure stands in the  Epic Megaboard© waiting for his enemy to come, He walks around viewing the others
who are posting new topics and replying to the threads, he slowly walks up to  a small person, but then relizing what it
really was, he took out his Seekers and loaded his gun, aiming as best as he could, *BLAAAM*BLAAAM*BLAAAM*
destroying the figure into dust particles, and as soon as he shot, a crowd had formed to see what had happened, as
the addministraters came to straighten things out, they relized that the lone figure had down, the victim was one of the
bugs that they had been trying to track down for many days, but if they had not relized that there were more,  peoples
accounts would keep being taken away, but they had curiosity of who this lone figure was, for he never spoke a word
and kept his face hidden with a small cloak he was wearing, they asked him why he had come to their megaboard, for
he did not come early enough even though he saved lives today, but no answer came out of him, all the lone figure did
was walk away, crouch into a corner and when the addministraters came, and pulled off the hood of his cloak, they
saw nothing, when the let go of the cloak, it fell to the ground, no one saw this lone figure ever again
  THE ORIGIN OF ROCKY _____________________________________________ Another day at the Tavern... Rabbits talking and bragging, eating carrots, eating and drinking carrot-related things... more talking and bragging. I think you get the picture. As usual, Rocky was in the back, near the window, with a carrot-cream donut. Then, someone shouted out... "Uh, Rocky, why the heck do they call you Rocky Raccoon when you're a rabbit?!" Rocky turned his head to whoever said that. "Not a bad question...I'll tell you..." The Tavern grew silent. Except for Exterminator playing Pokemon on his GameBoy. His fur was still abit scorched from his Carrotus MegaBoard incident. "Turn that thing off, Exterminator!!!" yelled Bluez. "We wanta hear Rocky's story!" "Yeah, yeah..."he muttered and walked out the door still staring at the screen. He could be seen throughout Rocky's story walking around outside still playing. "Okay...Rocky began... "A while ago, almost seven years ago, my parents were flying over the planet Marbelerrok. The planet was covered in ancient ruins from some...well...ancient...civilizations. It was currently populated by raccoons. Lots of 'em. This was the short time before a great war between many animals. Rabbits, weasels, raccoons, badgers, groundhogs, large rat name it. They were all going to fight for themselves. We were flying over the planet in a hovership, for a reason I don't remember. Suddenly, raccoons are blasting us from behind trees with laser cannons and stuff. The ship was hit and it went down half a mile away. I jumped though. Right out of the ship. I don't think it was the smartest thing I've ever done, I landed on my head. I had one heck of a headache when I woke up... When I did wake up, raccoons were surrounding me. I thought they were going to kill me. I was wrong. They explained that they had shot the ship cause they thought it was a weasel craft. At that time, raccoons were us rabbits' allies. Seeing that I jumped out of the hovership, they saw that I had intelligence and strategic ability. I always thought it was stupid and still do. They raised me as a raccoon. The raccoons painted stripes near my eyes. They extracted my front teeth. They even shortened my ears. How could they do all this without me objecting? I was a rabbit, after all... The fall had, not surprisingly, knoicked me unconcious. I was kinda dazed when I woke up, and they hypnotized me or something so they could do their work... When the war came, they made me a raccoon spy. I even got a raccoon Blaster Those things rock, the gun even has a mini rocket-launcher on the top. One day, while I was doing some espionage-type-actions on Carrotus, I was hit by something. It had the effect of a two-by-four on Cheeze, I had some sense knocked into me. I then remembered I was a rabbit. Not a coon. Someone heard me yell out "OW! GAH, WHAT WAS THAT?" when I was whokked, and they came over. I saw a cat before me, aiming a Blaster at my head. I don't know why a cat was on Carrotus, but that didn't matter at the time. He shouted "A RACCOON! LET'S GET 'M!" I tried to explain that I was a rabbit...on their side...the cat and his rabbit allies didn't believe me. So I did the second best thing: I ran. While speeding away from the rabbit soldiers, I tripped on a rock and landed in a lake. The raccoons must've used low-budget paint, it came off. The cat and rabbits caught up, and then saw that my eye stripes were gone... "Woah, what's this...the raccoon doesn't have his stripes anymore. He might not be kidding." Taking the opportunity, I jumped out of the shallow lake and also ahowed them I didn't have a huge raccoon tail. "WOAH, no tail...he is a rabbit!" one of the attack party exclaimed. The cat, leader of the group welcomed me to join their group. And, hey, I did. The cat's name was Gizmo...we became good friends during the war. I fought for all rabbits in the war, and we did win against any attackers that ventured on Carrotus. When word of the Raccoon spy joining the rabbits reached Marbelerok, it was an outrageish type thing. All of their plans were exposed, and they had lost a great spy to Carrotus. I was known as the greatest traitor of raccoon-kind...but a hero among rabbits. Everyone calls me Rocky Raccoon for what is now an obvious reason, I once was a semi-coon. So that's it." Rocky concluded. The rabbit who had asked was asleep. All others seemed ready to listen to more...but he was done, they eventually realized. Or was he? While Buster was off learning of his past...another adventure (or so it seems...) was happening at the War Tavern When we left off, a stranger, more specifically, a NEWBIE had been found at the Tavern door...asking how to shoot his blaster When he learns, the blast carreens into a rabbit...eating a carrot cream-filled donut --------------------------------------------- "OW!" yelled the rabbit... "WATCH IT WITH THAT THING!" The rabbit was none other than Rocky Raccoon...a semi-master when it came to battles. Visiting the Tavern as much as possile, Rocky could always be found sitting in that spot, eating a donut. Alright, enough with the info... "Opps. Sorry." said the not-so-large newbie. Then he started laughing insanely. The Tavern owner then interfered with the insane newbie's laughing. "Hey, if you're gonna shoot somewhere with that, DON'T DO IT HERE! Shooting is for the Battle Arenas." The newbie then noticed other features of his red Blaster... "Hey, what's this? These buttons must change your weapon...OOH, RF Missiles!!!" The newbie hit the trigger again... The missiles flew into the Tavern ceiling and sent pieces of wood falling on some of the rabbits. "Get this guy OUT OF THE TAVERN!!!!" scremed Cheeze, who had a 2 by 4 fall on his head... "Yeah, why should newbies be in here anyways? Only the best hang out here!" said Onag, who was a regular at the Tavern since the beginning of the Battle Arenas... Some of the rabbits began pelting the newbie with really hard carrots no one wanted. "YOWWWW"...yelped the pelted newbie "WHO COOKED THOSE THINGS!? THEY'RE ROCK HARD!!!! I'M GETTING OUT OF THIS PLACE..." "Well, that ends that." concluded Cheeze. Or did it??? The rabbits could hear outside things like... "Won't let you in? We'll tear the Tavern down...""Those rabbits will regret that.." and finally..."HEY GUYS!!! I found out how to shoot. Get this, you pull the Blaster's TRIGGER!" Then, they heard loud chants of "LET'S TEAR THE TAVERN DOWN!" The Tavern owner looked out the window. He seemed worried for a moment, and then said "AHH, It's nothing to worry's just a bunch of newbies out there." That was until the door suddenly was blown off its hinges. There were sounds of explosions nearby... The Tavern was roced by a shockwave, and more wood fell from the ceiling. Cheeze got hit by another two by four. OW! GOOD GAH, WHAT ARE THEY DOIN' OUT THERE?" he yelled, sounding a bit frightened "AND WHY DO I KEEP GETTING HIT WITH THE BOARDS? CAN'T THE STUPID WRITER HAVE SOMEONE ELSE GET HIT?????" Suddenly, a Type I Toaster Fireball crahsed through a window.... Crashes of missiles and fireballs were heard all around. More boards fell, and the Tavern was actually being newbies!!! The owner looked out the now-busted window, and saw many more newbies... A fire ball whizzed over his head, and he ducked just in time. "Ow, singed my hair!" he said, sounding quite scared this time. "There must be two hundred and thirty four of them out there!" "Someone has to stop them!" said Popsicle... "She's right"...GoleX replied. "If no one stops them, the Tavern will be destroyed!" "Well, not me!" said Rocky, from the back "I may be a semi-master, but HEY, I'm not facing 234 newbies! "It looked like about 234, but I could be wrong" said the owner. "Yeah, whatever" continued Rocky "We could send DethMan out there...he's one of the best here!" "Okay. I'll go. For the sake of the Tavern." Deth said, sounding more elite than usual. DethMan walked out the doorway. After what seemed like two minutes, two minutes had passed. You could hear a lot going on out there. But fire on the Tavern didn't decrease much. No one could see what was happening because of all the smoke from TNT explosions. Deth sped in from the outside... ...and a green tinge was seen on the smoke, almost like there was a thunderstorm at their door. "THEY'VE ALL GOT SHIELDS!!!!ALL 234 OF THEM! LOOK, I may be DethMan, one of the best here, but I'm not stupid enough to face 234 shield campers!" The Tavern owner guy said again "There could be 234, but that was just a guess, see it just loo.." "OH SHUT UP!" exclaimed Jazzy. "The Tavern is being destroyed, and all you can say is how there might not be 234 newbies?" "What's going to save the Tavern now? If Deth couldn't do it, who will???" said Captain Spam. Dino then continued on Spam's point... "And they all have shields! No one can stop them with the shields! It's hopeless." That's what it seemed, right then at the Tavern. Or at least what was left of it. It was falling apart more every second. Suddenly, a blue light bathed the War Tavern. A blinding flash came from the center of the eating area. No one could see what was happening because of the tremendous flash and light thatw as radiating from the area. A shining bluish rabbit appeared. At least it seemed blue, the light radiated from it to the point that you couldn't see it. The strange rabbit never said a word, but took out a round gem. The rabbit aimed the gem towards the door, and there was another flash. A laser beam, getting wider with distance blasted from the gem. The newbies were stunned. But not for long, 'cause when the beam hit them, they were annhialated. Somehow, the amazing rabbit took them all out. >Rocky Raccoon note: I know this is long sorry < The rabbit then dissapeared. Rocky opened his eye the slightest bit, and saw the stranger leave. He didn't know who the stranger was. But he wasn't going to tell anyone until he was sure. When the other rabbits recovered from the flash, they noticed that the Tavern had been fixed. There was a door again, and no scraps of smouldering wood lying around. None of them knew what had happened. All they cared was that the Tavern was saved, and the newbies were gone... And that's the END -TOMORROW NEVER DIES- _____________________________________________ It was the next day, after a normal Carrotus Thursday... It seemed like it would also be a normal Friday. That's what Rocky thought. But boyyyy was he wrong. After he woke up, he was planning to go to the Battle Arenas and whip some rabbits senseless with his trusty raccoon-made Blaster. Then he'd head off to the War Tavern, to eat and talk about stuff. Hey, stuff is good. But his plans were changed. --MEANWHILE-- Carrotus Palace, something strange was going on. The radar, which had been used in the War, had dectected something. It wasn't too big or anything. But it was a non-Carrotus craft. Otherwise the radar wouldn't have gone haywire when the object appeared on the screen. And it hadn't shown an object on the radar for almost three years. The palace technicians were kinda worried, they didn't know what this was. All they knew was that it was a ship. Nothing more. One of them started up a program that would match the object with one of the many ships that the radar was programmed to track. After minutes, it found a match. The readout said: Raccoon Transport and Recon. Ship and then there was a bunch of yadayadayada about if it was armed and stuff. The palace tech guys didn't care about that. All they cared and wondered was why a Raccoon ship was enetering the vicinity of Carrotus city. They were quite worried. One of them sent forking Jazz to come and see what they had discovered. He thought it to be strange that an enemy ship was on Carrotus. A treaty was signed when the war was ended not to send any war crafts to old enemy planets, only regular transport ships. King Jazz concluded "There is no apparent reason why a raccoon ship would be entering our territory. Especially not just one. No one on Carrotus has anything to do with those coons." A technician had also run an info search on Carrotus citizens. One of them was listed as ever being raccoon affiliated. Rocky. Rocky Raccoon. Jazz then said in an almost evil tone of voice... "Bring us this Rocky. We'll see if he has anything to DO with this..." The End 'till the next post...stick around... THE INTERROGATION _____________________________________________ Later that day at the War Tavern... Rocky, in his usual seat, and after his usual donut, was about to bite into a tasty carrot pie. His Blaster rested on the table. Suddenly, there was a rhythmic knock on the Tavern door... "A knock!" GoleX shouted out. "Something always happens when there's a knock." The Tavern owner opened it, and standing at the door was one of King Jazz's messangers. "A messanger,"someone said, "what would a messanger want at the War Tavern?" "Maybe he has a singing telagram," inquired Bluez. The messanger spoke "Is there a Rocky Raccoon here?" The Tavern was silent for a few seconds, and then Bart claimed it was good he didn't ask for Seymour Butts. There was an explosion of laughter, for a few seconds, and then Exterminator paused his GameBoy and said that he watched the Simpsons a wee bit much.... "I SAID, Is there a ROCKY RACCOON here?" the messanger repeated impatiently. "Yeah...that's me..."Rocky said innocently between bites. "Come with me, Raccoon," the messanger said monotonously. "Uh...okay," Rocky said, sounding a bit stunned. He didn't have a clue why King Jazz would want anything with him. But he would. Rocky followed the messanger out the door, and he took his Blaster. The Tavern stayed silent again. They had no more of an idea than Rocky did about why he was called. After about a half-hour, Rocky and the messanger-guy reached Carrotus Palace. When the huge door was opened, Rocky was escorted by royal guards towards Jazz's throne. He was really surprised now, he didn't know what the big deal was. He was then at the throne, and a bit stunned. "Uh...what do you...wish, Sire?" Rocky sputtered out. "Come with me, Rocky Raccoon," Jazz said almost coldly. Rocky followed behind the King, guards following beside him. "In here, Rocky," Jazz ordered. He was pointing ot a dark room, with a huge overhead light. "Sit down, whydontya?" Jazz said calmly. So Rocky sat down in the dark room, and placed his Blaster on the table beside him. The door closed, and he was left in the dark. A few minutes passed. Suddenly, the door opened, the light swiched on with a clap from outside, and an awful stench entered the room. "ECH..WHAT IS THAT?" Rocky said disgustedly. "Helllloo RACCOON!" an unstable voice said from close by. And who ahould walk in the door? Prince Spaz. Rocky said inquisitively "What's with the emphasis on Raccoon?" "Ohhh, YOU'LL find out..." Spaz said with another burst of odor from his mouth. "Hey Spaz, wanta mint?" Rocky said. "NO THANKS!!! Now can wee get onnnn with this?" Spaz said stinkily. "Yeah, Ohk..."Rocky started. "SURE WE CAN!" Spaz said crazily. "First, where were you last night?"Spaz shouted. "I was asleep." Rocky claimed. "Oh. Uh...Did you ever have anything to do with Raccoons?" Spaz said quickly. "Not intentionally, but now I'm loyal to Carro..." "AHHAH! I KNEW IIIIT!" Spaz said wittily, and he began hopping around the room. "What do you know!? Will someone give me some idea what's going on here!?" Rocky yelled. Then he ran out of the interrogation room door,and up to King Jazz. "Sire, why was I called here?" Rocky said. "That isn't for you to know yet..." Jazz replied. Eva then burst out from a door leading to the basement that was filled with technical equipment. "Jazz...Our sattelite has zeroed in on the landing location, we're going to try to see how many passengers are aboard the ship." she said, sounding a bit worried. "Passengers? Ship? What the heck am I missing?" Rocky yelled angrily. "Thats for us to know, not you," said King Jazz. "And don't address me like that, RACCOON." Jazz said coldly. "Is this something to do with raccoons? I don't know for sure what it is, but I don't have anything to do with it!" "If that's what you're thinking..." Rocky said angrilly again. "I said, DON'T ADDRESS ME LIKE THAT, RACCOON!" Jazz said more angrilly than Rocky. Now, Rocky knew it wasn't the best idea to mess with the King. But at this point, he didn't care... "I don't care how I address you, Jazz! Now can you tell me what's going on here?" Rocky yelled. "That's it...guards...after the rabbit!" Jazz ordered. "Ohh crap,"Rocky muttered "I've really done it this time." He ran past two armored and armed guards back into the Interrogation Room. Spaz was still hopping around 'cause he did something right. Rocky grabbed his Blaster off the shelf, and ran out, dodging two swords aimed at him. He sped past some more guards, and heard King Jazz yelling out orders behind him. "Get him! GET HIM! He wouldn't run like that if he had nothing to do with all of this..." Jazz yelled loudly and angrilly again. Rocky didn't know how he was going to escape the castle though... Then he had an idea. As he was nearing the door, he clicked on his Blaster's rocket load button. He heard the low whine and the click as the blaster-mounted mini-rocket launcher was loaded. About 25 feet before the door, he shot the rocket. It crashed into the door and made a rabbit sized hole. The door guards had moved to avoid the explosion. He jumped out through the door, and off speeding away from the palace. Rocky ran as fast as he could for Carrotus City, where his small home was. The un-armored attack guards after hima ll the way. After a tiring half-hoir, that seemed like... a half-hour, he reached his house. Rocky leaped into his Volkswagon Rabbit , and started it up. Fortunatley, he bought one with a rocket engine added on. He started off into the air, guards blasting at him with laser pistols. He looked at the control panel, and saw a picture of a toroise and a hare. A lever was stopped by the tortoise. Rocky quickly yanked it to the hare, and suddenly his airspeed increased greatly. The craft sped off away from the ground quite fast. Inside the ship, Rocky happily yelled "Oh yeah!!! That's the way I wannit!!!" On the ground, the palace guards watched as the craft grew smaller, and then dissapeared. Cheezes Story The travelers then made it throught the threshole between the two galexies. They were now in the Refrigerous Galaxy. "Ahhh, i can feel it already, the cool tems." Cheeze "Brrr....turn up the heat!" Jazz 1 "Ok, ok...." PaSTE Then, PaSTE turned up the heat. ZAP! Somehow, PaSTE and Aphrodite dissapeared. "What the..." Cheeze ZAP! Methuselah, RockyRacoon, and TurtleSlayer appered. "NOW, this is getting weird" Jazz 1. "Quite...." Rocky. "Now, how the HECK did i get here?" "Yeah, me too!" Meth, and Slayer. "That's what i'd like to know....WAIT i've got an idea..." Cheeze "Maybe the heat somehow created a teleporter and zapped PaSTE and Aphrodite out, and Meth, Rocky, and Slayer in." "What the heck did u say?" Rocky. "Oh, nothing, just some gibberish." Cheeze. "I can zap you guys back!" Tele. "No, wait, I need some help with my journy, we lost 2 rabbits, hopefully they're back on Carotus, but i don't think tele's magic can zap them back" Cheeze "Fine, sure i'll stay." Rocky. "Me too!" Slayer. "Couldn't hurt." Meth. "Ok, let's get a move on..." Cheeze. Then Meth and Rocky conrtolled the ship. It slow drifted off to a strange planet. They reached it's atmosphere, and went into the planet like a bullet, with fire surroundidng it, and fell into a vast, wide open ocean. The flame was quenched, and made a silent hissing sound. The sun had just risen, and the orange glow had sparkled over the calm waters. "Wow, how pretty, "said Jazz 1 calmly. "What a great entrance, we shot into this planet's atmosphere and landed in the ocean, a silent hiss, and a beautful sunrise," said Cheeze while looking at the wonderful sight. "Right you are. This place is the prettiest place i've been, except my home planet" said Jazz 1. "Home planet, home planet," Cheeze murmered. There was silence, and Cheeze sat there thinkng as the sun rose over the blue sky, and filled it wiht it's orange glow. Jazz 1 went back in for a rest, as did everyone else. "I alway's come to all these strange planets when i really wnat to go to MY home, MY plabet," said Cheeze in distress. He sat there, thinking....He sat, and sat. All that came into his ming were images of his thought-to-be home. "Oh, how i WISH i were there," he thought. He sat there in distress for quite a while. These thought never left his mind. Then, as if it was magic, he took a wif of the air. "Mmmm, i love that smell...but i could care less...." The smell, although he was unaware of it, was cheese.

The WAr Begins
One stormy day the rabbits were planing to defeat devan once and
for all, and to get the truth about the turtles conspiracy, in year
1998, the turtle and the hare had their first race, the turtle was
slow but kept his pace, the rabbit had a speedy pace and was sure
to win, the race had begun, the hare speed out and the turtle took
one step, by the time the hare was half way to the finish, the turtle
had taken his 50 step, and the hare knew that he was so far away
from the turtle, that he could have some lunch
When he began biting on his carrot, out of no where a turtle
captured him and hid so no passing by supervisors could see him,
then slowly the turtle walk past where the rabbit had been,
grinning at a single carrot, fore he had planned all this, so that he
would win, but slowly he went taking his steps, and moved a little
faster which suprised everyone that was watching, when the turtle
was five steps away from the finish line, the henchmen had to let
go of the rabbit, he wasnt able to handle anymore of the kicks,
then the rabbit raced to the finish line, the turtle was 4 steps to the
line, the hare ran the fastest he had ever moved in his life, the
turtle was three steps away, 2 steps, 1, 0, the hare had lost, and
forever then people have the reason to laugh at us rabbits and
hares, but since my father was cast out of the fortress for losing
that race, and now im in it telling the truth about what happened
to my father, and get revenge from what happened to him! The
Turtle named Devan is Turtle Soup if i get my hands on him, but
my father passed away because he couldnt survive, no one would help him.
Arven The Warrior
To be continued...